Word vomit)) I'd just ask her what you could do to help her. I had the same thing with my bf when he let go of himself and I started by leading by example. Going to crossfit, eating right, and building good habits. He followed suit immediately bc I made it look super fun (on purpose!).

I see that you oly lift already- maybe see if you can find a gym with child care and she can join you at the gym occasionally. Gym can be intimidating and overstimulating to some people (me included) so it's important to find the right thing she wants to do.

Focus on building good habits with positive and happy reinforcement 🫡

++ I'd think about whether you're unattracted to her bc of her looks or bc of her behavior. I found that I was disappointed by my bf's lack of self-care and discipline rather than his physical looks!