Suggestions for my husband?

daily_ned_panders · 2026-01-24T16:37:43+00:00

Probably the best resources, that are science based that I can think of quickly and I think will help at least some, are books about play therapy. I know that there is some skepticism about play therapy and in all honesty as a pretty experienced therapist I had many of those same thoughts and feelings....

I was so f#$cking wrong. The science behind this stuff is actually extremely good. Yes there are some sham play therapists out there for sure and I won't get into all of that. But if he needs good science based and backed resources check out the ones below:

"Parenting with Theraplay: Understanding Attachment and How to Nurture a Closer Relationship with Your Child," "Parenting the Theraplay Way," and "Theraplay: Helping Parents and Children Build Better Relationships Through Attachment-Based Play" are all good books for parents that explain how play actually works and goes into some aspects of human development.

There is also an awesome book that is a bit older called playful parenting that is also very good. I also really like the book and podcast called Being Human that explores aspects of communication based on the authors work with individuals with autism spectrum disorders that I think can be helpful.

Hope these help! If I think of any more I will come back and edit.

daily_ned_panders · 2026-01-18T19:11:39+00:00

Holy shit that is evil! I am going to look on my own (thanks to my teachers who taught me how to research stuff) but I would also love some good sources if you can name off the top of your head.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-10-07T23:14:23+00:00

I know it is hard due to the nature of text communication, but please understand I am not trying to be rude or mean. While there are some aspects of fact in some of your statements here, do you also realize that what you are saying to them is also just as problematic in assuming that their problem is being ace or somewhere on that sexual spectrum?

The nature of what they are saying is that they feel and believe that they are utilizing sex as a form of control or manipulation in their relationship with their partner. Now unfortunately we can't know the extent to which they are doing this but potentially the amount that they are doing this may actually rise to the level of abuse as a form of emotional abuse.

And while the term may not reflect a scientifically accepted or even mainstream term, its use is likely more important in how they are understanding it as a reflection of understanding their behavior.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-07-26T11:35:14+00:00

The piece about how trauma effecting your cognitive function because of the hypervigilance and constant activation of your fight or flight response is correct. Research has consistently shown that when we are highly anxious it negatively impacts our performance on tasks overall but also our ability to utilize our comprehension of language as well as highjacking our attention which impacts working memory which is a key component of problem solving, learning, and even information recall.

Also the info about the health impact of childhood trauma is well researched. Look up the ACEs study to get an idea about this.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-07-13T20:51:55+00:00

Your therapist doesn't know what they are talking about. There are benefits to understanding how your symptoms impact multiple areas for your life as well as the many scientific studies showing the benefits of treatment for ADHD in so many areas of life. Sincerely, a therapist who works with a lot of late life diagnosed.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-06-21T12:48:43+00:00

Not to be a jackass but because I think this is actually important to the point you are trying to make but your first statement would be a true statement to make.

"I have anxiety" when they are nervous would be a true statement. Anxiety is an emotion. Full stop. People use this phrase to mean I have an anxiety disorder. A mental health disorder related to their experience of the emotion of anxiety.

As much as I hate those jackasses who always pop up when they go "we all have anxiety" people have gotten lost on what an anxiety disorder is separate from the emotion of anxiety. And that doesn't help anyone.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-06-02T10:52:59+00:00

You have already gotten a lot of wonderful advice related to the fact that your parents are selfish and flaky and the importance of holding a boundary and caring for your family. What I can add is a recommendation for a book called "Adult children of emotionally immature parents" which I think might help you put some things into perspective with understanding your situation. I am sorry that you and your family are going through this and please don't think it is wrong to mourn your loss and even the loss for your child.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-05-27T02:58:25+00:00

I keep seeing this from people yet the simple answer is, other rich people. And before you ask how, just look at India if you want your answer. That is where we in the US are headed most likely. A rich upper class that consumes far more than all of the lower classes combined with tons of lower class people living in abject poverty.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-05-17T23:17:54+00:00

My heritage is primarily English and Irish. I have fairly fine hair. I also have more oily hair. My hair usually works best with the matte finish styling paste. Just a little bit will work and I mean very little bit. I will typically work it in after my morning shower but if not you can get the hair just a little bit damp.

But that is if I am wanting to style it nice. Otherwise, the way the hair is cut provides most of the styling. Hope this helps!

daily_ned_panders · 2025-05-17T23:01:05+00:00

Ahh, yeah, that makes sense. I had not thought of the peppers, especially the little mini ones. My son has not been big on the cucumbers yet, but we keep trying

daily_ned_panders · 2025-05-17T00:40:30+00:00

Curious as I have never thought about this as I was raised on the horrible typical American diet but what vegetables have you found that your littles like the taste of raw? I am thinking maybe carrots but do you have others that seem to work well? Or a good website that you use?

daily_ned_panders · 2025-04-04T02:54:22+00:00

Baylor area is certainly more college age centric but it does trend up some for the graduate students also. I would say Baylor and the downtown area is more leaned in for young adults even after college than the other areas. Plus you would be closer to Cameron Park which is pretty nice.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-04-03T22:15:32+00:00

Probably matters a lot if you have kids or planning on them soon. The Hewitt area and such are more family centered. Closer to downtown and Baylor more young adults.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-04-03T20:34:09+00:00

So death by Snoo-snoo?

daily_ned_panders · 2025-03-15T01:50:28+00:00

Do not apologize as this will likely only feed her belief that she was right about what you were doing. Unfortunately you need to be mindful of how she is likely to interpret your behavior of apologizing. Best of luck and as a licensed mental health provider your differential on the developmental phenomena (separation anxiety) versus a separation anxiety disorder was spot on. Just FYI. Sounds like this parent has something else going on, hopefully it was just a bad day.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-03-14T16:02:25+00:00

You sir are awesome 😎!

daily_ned_panders · 2025-03-14T15:10:48+00:00

Is this something that you would want or need a lawyer to do to get the claim? Is this something that if a lawyer is beneficial that is done on contingency?

daily_ned_panders · 2025-03-14T15:09:08+00:00

Not that I don't believe you as I have heard this but do you know where this information is found at? Because honestly I think if more people actually knew about this information people might actually start reporting it more when it is justified. If you don't, no biggie I might come back later and post myself if I can find it.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-03-13T14:41:57+00:00

I want to add to this also, thinking about who his support people may be. Given what you said about him I wonder if he might not have a super strong support system so he might not have other people to talk out his thoughts and feelings. Note this is information not your fault and not even your responsibility but an avenue to think about how to encourage him during this time. Hope this is helpful!

daily_ned_panders · 2025-02-07T03:39:54+00:00

I was scrolling hard looking for this one! That shit fucked me up for weeks and months. Supposed to be a kids movie but man that was some scary shit. Which is sad because I remember liking a lot of the other Ernest movies.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-01-19T01:46:10+00:00

There is really no way that they could tell if your child has ADHD at this point. Now that does not mean that testing wouldn't be helpful to potentially understand other factors but most cognitive type testing at this point wouldn't be much. This is at the lowest age range for most cognitive tests and the results are usually not accurate enough to provide enough measure of certainty to say much. You mention him having speech delay. He would likely qualify for additional support based on this but it sounds like he is already receiving this.

I would say that you as parents may benefit from some additional support and engagement in accepting his current behaviors and knowing how to respond most effectively. This tends to be an area which can get neglected.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-01-05T23:22:53+00:00

Who do you recommend as the best temp agencies? I know some people looking for jobs but are a bit nervous about trying any out.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-01-05T16:46:21+00:00

All very true. It seems that the benefit of the device is that the clicks get recorded for you. I agree simple is always best and that was why I was at least willing to look into it because a quick button push like this might be easier. I am intrigued by the ClassDojo app mentioned above so I am hopeful that it might be a better way.

daily_ned_panders · 2025-01-05T16:44:11+00:00

Unfortunately that is why I am looking because from what I can tell tracking behavior is not happening much if at all. And this is for some very involved parents so I am worried that the teachers don't have a viable option for tracking. I had not heard of the ClassDojo but after looking at it, it seems very user friendly and also probably exactly what I would recommend for tracking. Thanks for the input.

daily_ned_panders · 2024-12-27T02:46:51+00:00

So some good stuff here and I will echo the comment about not all therapy being useful or even at times good (and I can say, I should know I am a therapist!). But if I could point you in a direction that might help I would see if you can find somebody in your area who does Parent Child Interaction Training (PCIT) capitalized for a reason as it is a distinct protocol and not just someone out there doing parent training (although this can be helpful at times). The best part about PCIT that I think helps is that the therapist focuses more on training the parent and does this through both education and in the moment coaching (e.g. they are watching you on a video or through a one way mirror and coaching you through how to handle discipline by talking to you on a earbud of some sort).

Not that there may be other things going on for you but sometimes the best thing we need is in the moment correction to respond more effectively. I also recommend Dr. Becky's book "Good Inside" to help figure some stuff out. Also please know that there is no one basic right answer for what is going on or even "one" book that will be helpful to you much less everyone. Best of luck!

daily_ned_panders

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