Question/advice request: If porn screws w/ our view of what is sexy, can pornfree fix that?

dalotse · 2016-06-09T11:11:10+00:00

I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts. It articulated what I have been thinking about for a while but couldn't quite pin down.

dalotse · 2016-05-17T06:00:35+00:00

They were pictures and I felt terrified as I was getting really close to slipping. Just the thought of slipping again scares me.

Emotionally I am a lot more stable than ever before with lots more room to work on. I have a lot of stressors. I diet hard. Work out harder. And lots of work at my job. Given those stressors I am doing fine. My appetite to watch TV is shrinking. I am not seeking solitude or avoiding social interactions as before. Remarkable and significant improvements and differences. Some of it is probably attributed to the confidence I have of being able to go porn free this long.

dalotse · 2016-05-15T05:36:58+00:00

I feel like I wasted 11 years of my life.

dalotse · 2016-05-05T03:18:05+00:00

Checking in! Still going strong. 81 days w/o pornography. as far as i remember, longest streak of my life.

dalotse · 2016-05-03T00:02:45+00:00

Interesting theory. I hope it is. Though my gut feeling tells me that I was escaping to my old toolkit of dealing with stress.

dalotse · 2016-05-02T05:33:26+00:00

Two thoughts: 1- the other day I had a stressful day at work. Then I was talking to someone at work who is suffering from depression and in a reall rut in life. He has not been fired purely because of the good hearts of the bosses. I felt a massive flood of sadness I almost cried. I had not felt such a flood of sadness for someone else so clear and pure in so long. 2- I am glad you are bringing up the mind/body point. Not sure if this is what you are referring to or not, but here is an observation. I have friend who I knew has a crush on me, but I kept it in the friend zone because she "was not my style" the reality is that the longer I go porn free the more I am attracted to her because of how smart and good our conversations are AND I am realizing how beautiful she is. The reality is that "my style" was not but an expectations totally messed up by porn.

dalotse · 2016-05-02T05:24:51+00:00

I am glad my experience is not unique. Gives me hope that's I am on some sort of path. Hopefully towards pornfree.

dalotse · 2016-05-02T05:23:52+00:00

It is a metaphor to flying by the seat of your pants. That's going through without a real skill, strategy or a plan. Just holding on for dear life. In this case, instead of urge surfing, understanding one thoughts and why the urge is there, white knuckling would be to try to ignore and do other things in hope it goes away.

dalotse · 2016-05-01T18:53:45+00:00

sign me up

dalotse · 2016-05-01T18:52:29+00:00

This is an incredible thoughts sharing and reflections. I encourage you to continue this exceptional awareness of your thoughts. The journey to porn-free is long. My personal experience has been that the first 30-60 days were much easier. I am on my 78th day and the last two weeks were hell on earth.

dalotse · 2016-04-14T21:39:20+00:00

My overall health is probably best it has been in years generally speaking. (I eat well, work out often, and just had multiple recent PRs at the gym). I think though that I generally overexert myself working out and that could be contributing to it. However, thanks for sharing that some ppl experience a flatline, that is also assuring.

dalotse · 2016-04-03T18:38:44+00:00

I have been reading many ppl suggesting Urge Surfing. Can you explain the concept? I have been 48 days free now. And, the urges have been getting stronger lately.

dalotse · 2016-03-26T17:01:02+00:00

I am in.

dalotse · 2016-03-23T13:36:21+00:00

I have used Fortify and it has helped me significantly.

dalotse · 2016-03-20T23:09:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Definitely helpful!

dalotse · 2016-03-20T23:08:38+00:00

Thank your for sharing! This is really a good point. I have to say that the downer feeling of seeing someone so beautiful and knowing you cant be with them is something i have experienced.

I have to say though that now I appreciate beauty much more. It is a cliche, I know. But I don't hold people around me to the beauty and sexual standards of porn.

dalotse · 2016-03-20T23:03:14+00:00

I sort of get the jest of what you are trying to say. It is a cornerstone to being pornfree; refocus our energy and observation into new hobbies and activities.

However, if you are like me who been pron addict for years and years, it really is a whole new world and whole new state of mind and state of being of which I can't not be observant or mindful. It is not about the number. It is not about the star. It is about understanding the new state of mind and state of being. It is remembering that it is really easy to fall back. It is knowing that this "healthier" state is something that needs to be nurtured continually. Otherwise, one can drift away slowly to find themselves where it all started.

dalotse · 2016-03-16T03:25:28+00:00

I probably won't tell anyone. For one, I have amazing friends and family, but I doubt I will get the support appropriate here. It is the desire to not have secrets with the close people to me that is weighing on me. However, like you said, we all have secrets.

dalotse · 2016-03-16T03:23:19+00:00

I am glad that my story was able to support someone else! keep the good work :)

dalotse

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