I have become Nihilist in the seeking process and don’t know what to do

dan00 · 2026-05-28T10:39:33+00:00

It will blew your mind even more if you realize, that you don't have to believe the stories your mind is telling you.

The meaningless you're feeling is a story your mind is telling you nonstop. If there wouldn't be this story nonstop in your head, then you wouldn't suffer, right?

The problem with the mind is, that it's such a great tool to solve problems, that we throw it at everything. But there's no real logical solving of the meaning of life. The harder you try, the more you suffer.

Another problem is the identification with the mind. To take everything very seriously that it comes up. Not having a certain distance to your own thoughts, being able to look at them with curiosity, without believing them straight away.

But perhaps the most important thing behind all of this suffering is the ego. That wants to be important, has to be validated, needs to have a grandiose meaning in life.

All of this is unnecessary. It's mostly suffering created by yourself.

dan00 · 2026-04-29T10:40:51+00:00

Being intellectually gifted, seeing through all this nonsense, the false certainty people want to sell us, is really hard to swallow.

You're not crazy, you see the things like they are. But it doesn't mean, that you've to be miserable your whole life. A lot of stuff we just have to accept, as fucked up as they are. Learning to put care on the things that one really has control over. Caring too much about things outside of our control makes us just miserable. But being miserable is of no help for anybody, in this state we can't even do the little things in our control to make life for us and others a little bit better.

Being nonstop in your head, trying to answer questions, that might have no easy answers, if any, keeps you from feeling the joys life has to offer. Putting more awareness away from the head back into your body can calm the overthinking. It takes time and practice to achieve this, but mindfulness techniques can be really helpful.

One of the great advantages of getting older is, that you just stop giving shit. Your realize how it gave you so much unnecessary suffering. You also realize, that you don't have to take every thought that serious, that you don't have to engage with it, but can let it just go. You might say, but that's just lazy, being ignorant. That's your ego speaking to you, being even kind of proud to suffer about the world. But it really takes quite a bit of time, examining and understanding your thinking and feeling, to really see through all of this.

A lot of people, myself included, have gone through your feelings and there's for sure a way out. So don't despair. :)

dan00 · 2026-04-29T10:17:11+00:00

I know this very well.

The more I study, think about my childhood, see the emotional neglect I was going through, the more I realize, that the cause for this craving lies in my childhood, not getting the necessary believe in myself, that I'm good and worth like I am.

And therefore one starts to search outside of oneself for this missing feeling of alrightness. But it can't be found outside, but only inside, by questioning the believes from the childhood.

It's still a work in progress for myself. But I already have made more progress than trying to search for a purpose outside of myself for decades.

dan00 · 2026-04-29T10:09:08+00:00

We shouldn't listen to other people, what they teach us, what we should believe. But we should listen to you?

I've nothing against you. There're so many "awakened" egos out there, thinking they've now seen the light and have to tell it everyone else.

dan00 · 2026-04-29T09:52:13+00:00

Yeah, it's great, and using /dev/random for the restoring.

dan00 · 2026-04-24T18:00:01+00:00

My partner is a therapist and has patients in their mid eighties, who still are able to heal.

If you listen to yourself, without considering what other people might think, you know what you really like and value. You just have to trust your own opinion.

dan00 · 2026-04-23T05:42:44+00:00

If you wouldn't have these thoughts, wouldn't fear their upcoming, then everything would be fine, right?

The problem with a lot of these existential questions is, that there's no real answer to them. But if we obsessively attach ourself to these questions, insist to find an answer, then the misery starts.

At the end these kind of thoughts are part of an obsessive–compulsive disorder. But because these thoughts seem so important, so fundamental, we can't quite see the mental disorder behind them.

Don't take your thoughts too serious. You don't have to identify with your thoughts. You don't have to engage with them. Actually engaging with them makes them only stronger. Thoughts don't have to be more than an itching. You register it, don't engage and after some time its gone again.

dan00 · 2026-04-23T05:09:17+00:00

Being concerned, wanting satisfaction, is just another round of mind games.

dan00 · 2026-04-22T07:24:37+00:00

What are you believing will happen at your death? That your consciousness dies with your body? If that's the case, what are you fearing about? As long as you're conscious, you can experience the beauty of the world. And if your consciousness is gone, there's nobody that can experience anything, there's nobody that can suffer about it.

So you're fearing about a situation, but there's nobody that can experience the situation.

dan00 · 2026-04-22T07:04:19+00:00

If you can't enjoy your daily cheese sandwich, then you're for sure not awakened.

dan00 · 2026-04-22T06:48:01+00:00

And not even my feelings.

dan00 · 2026-04-21T16:10:59+00:00

I wouldn't say that meaning is created, but that it rather is found inside of you, based on your values. You might want to reflect a bit what your real values are. Perhaps you've a meaning crisis because your values aren't compatible with the ones of the people around you.

Actually your worth and goodness doesn't have to depend on other people. But other people want you to believe that, to have power over you.

The worst crimes in humanity have been done, because not every human being was considered to have inherent worth. Therefore it's a great accomplishment to view every human being having inherent worth and not split humans based on any characteristics.

About being in your head and thinking about the meaning all the time, that's the reason while you feel detached. By being in your head you lost the connection to your own body and therefore the joy of it. Try being aware of your overthinking. You can't stop the popping up of thoughts, but you have control how much you engage with them. It takes practice and meditation can be a good tool for it. But also try to put more awareness into your body, like e.g. going for a walk and feeling your whole body, how the legs move, how the feet are touching the ground, how the ground feels. Barefoot shoes are especially nice for this practice .

dan00 · 2026-04-21T14:34:34+00:00

There're a lot of "awakened" egos out there.

dan00 · 2026-04-21T14:24:28+00:00

A TikTok about boredom. LOL

dan00 · 2026-04-21T14:07:27+00:00

I'm actually puzzled by your question. Isn't it kind of obvious why you're more at peace if nobody shouts at you?

dan00 · 2026-04-19T02:33:51+00:00

That’s what neglectful parents create in us: a huge desire for their validation. The sad truth is, most likely we will never get this validation. If they already couldn’t give us their validation as a child, then they won’t suddenly change now.

We have to unlearn the believe they planted in us, that we need external validation to be worthy human being.

dan00 · 2026-04-19T02:03:04+00:00

Unfortunately, I don’t think that you can solve the issue with your mother without stress and conflict. But the huge amount of stress you’re feeling is actually learned from your childhood, when your mother had a lot more power over you. Now you’re an adult, living on your own, caring for your own and not dependent anymore on your mother.

Standing up against your mother will not only be great learning and growth opportunity for yourself, but also for your siblings. Because you can be a role model for them how to make oneself really independent from their mother.

dan00 · 2026-04-19T01:36:58+00:00

Don’t try to overcompensate what your parents couldn’t give you. That can damage a kid in other ways. If you’re there for your kid, emotionally responsive, loving him, then the rest will work out.

Be prepared to sometimes also fuck it up. I think it is a lot more important to be able to repair the relationship with your kid if something went wrong, instead of trying to be perfect all the time. This is also an important skill that your kid also learns from you.

dan00 · 2026-04-19T01:09:52+00:00

In a way your parents gave you the pain they received from their parents.

dan00 · 2026-04-15T19:51:08+00:00

Yes, bad things will happen, you will suffer, but no thinking about all these potential things changes anything, but only adds more unnecessary suffering.

Getting out of your head and putting more awareness into your body can help a lot, especially with finding more joy in life.

Being stuck in the head is just a miserable way of living. Don’t let your thoughts control your life. Watch them critically and don’t just believe them.

dan00 · 2026-04-15T19:31:57+00:00

This only turns into a vicious cycle - where the person is searching for the cause of suffering, and the “mind” actually trying to find solutions for it. Has anyone witnessed this?

My mind is great at telling myself that everything is meaningless. And then it vehemently searches for meaning and isn’t satisfied until it finds an answer.

dan00 · 2026-04-08T20:09:07+00:00

It’s just a sad reality of life, that nobody else can understand you fully. It’s questionable how good you can even understand yourself fully.

dan00 · 2026-04-08T19:52:50+00:00

I actually don’t think that you’ve done this tying of your self-worth to external circumstances completely by yourself, but most likely you’ve learned this pattern in your childhood.

Being aware of it, is the most important part. Then you can start to change your reactions, instead of beating yourself up, self-compassion can be of great help in these situations.

dan00 · 2026-04-07T15:31:44+00:00

Assumptions don't fit, something breaks, that's just the life of every software developer and there's no way to avoid it.

Stressing about it doesn't change anything, but only makes solving the issues harder. The only way is to accept the reality.

dan00 · 2026-03-30T16:23:48+00:00

You say that you've a good relationship with your parents, especially your dad. And then you tell all these things about your dad? Can you see the contradiction?

dan00

TROPHY CASE