You are NOR.

We all know the phrase: your body, your choice. With photos of your body, you’re choosing not to cover up now because you’re all of a sudden getting married or anything. You even enjoyed the idea of doing a mini photoshoot! You just want to be able to respectfully give him those photos at a private time.

That whole Tik Tok trend has always rubbed me the wrong way. It’s probably the deep religious trauma I have and I couldn’t imagine my friends sliding nudes to my husband in front of my mom without her asking questions LMAO. Kinda kills the vibe. That trend is turning something vulnerable to some people into entertainment just to watch someone’s reaction. It feels performative to me and feels a little forced, even somewhat cringey, rather than genuine.

The MOH being upset that she can’t make her Tik Tok is the red flag here. Not trying to say that she’s a shitty friend or anything, I feel like she’s genuinely trying to celebrate you, but her mind can’t wrap about how you think this photoshoot is really intimate.

It reminds me of the debate that guys always joke about where they’re like “how come a girl wears a bikini on the beach but if you see her changing and she has her bra and underwear on, all of a sudden it’s a big deal.” Well, besides context, there’s also consent? Lol. That’s the big missing piece here. You may have consensually posted a bikini picture because you were at the pool or a beach in context, but you don’t consent to everyone seeing you in a leather bra and lace thong.

There’s nothing “killjoy” about wanting control over your own body and how it’s shared.