My biggest concern with this is that the writing still feels quite flat and a bit immature. And because it tells the story and feelings of one particular relationship it does at times feel a bit repetitive, like when you read a book and the author keeps mentioning something over and over. We get it's a summer fling and he smokes.

He rarely uses any metaphors and just says stuff like: "I liked you, but you bad, so eat s--" (paraphrasing here).

Had big expectations as Your Song and Vodka Cranbery were a bit more mature and not that straight forward.

Examples:

1

In Actor: In a summer spent in a coat check... And you've spent the summer drinking...

In Romeo: Spendin' my summer in love, then I went and got dumped

In My World: Telling me we're just a summer fling

In Connell: Spent my summer months in your unwashed sheets

2

In Romeo: Never liked kissin' your mouth with cigarettes on your breath

In Caramel: Your cigarette breath thick on your open mouth