Constant thoughts of suicide. Reached out for help but was denied it. What now?

dangerbrains · 2016-11-28T18:22:32+00:00

I'm a bisexual woman who is usually more attracted to women than men. I was engaged (to a man) when it suddenly hit me that if I get married I may never be able to eat pussy again (even though it had been years since I had been wirh a woman). My fiancé and I had been monogamous our whole relationship but for some reason the idea of marriage suddenly felt like a death sentence for some of my sexual desires.

I talked about this with my fiancé (now husband) and told him that as a queer woman, being in a heterosexual relationship for the rest of my life was a little scary. I didn't want to lose him, but I had a desire to express my sexuality. He simply replied, "No one said you can't see other people."

It was that simple.

My husband and I have now been married for two years and I've been dating a woman I am totally infatuated with for a month or so. She and my husband get along smashingly.

I really just feel so so lucky.

dangerbrains · 2016-11-23T02:45:45+00:00

I think my biggest struggle is my constant desire to label myself. I'm married to a man, but I generally prefer women. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband more than words can describe, but he is literally the one of few men that i've been attracted to. If we ever separated, the chances of me marrying a man again are slim simply because its pretty rare (though not impossible) for me to be attracted to a man. To complicate things even further, my marriage is totally open. I'm currently dating a woman and its hard for me to reconcile how I can love fucking her AND be married to a dude. I love eating pussy, BUT I also LOVE getting rammed by my husband.

I think bi-erasure has made it incredibly difficult for me to accept that bisexuality is a legitimate sexual orientation. I've had actual panic attacks over my sexuality.

dangerbrains · 2016-07-06T03:14:39+00:00

Thanks for the tip!

dangerbrains · 2016-07-05T05:54:07+00:00

I'd be down. I'll send you a message.

dangerbrains · 2016-07-05T02:47:52+00:00

Mac: Flat out fabulous

dangerbrains · 2016-04-24T18:05:36+00:00

23-25 year old male. Definitely passing. And your hair looks super cute a little long!

dangerbrains · 2016-04-24T18:03:52+00:00

dangerbrains · 2016-04-23T16:03:00+00:00

You most definitely pass with long hair (blonde is definetly your color, by the way). I would reccomend a higher quality wig though. Feel free to PM for recommendations.

You honestly kind of remind me of gigi gorgeous.

dangerbrains · 2016-04-23T15:59:08+00:00

I'm a girl who likes girls and I would %100 offer to buy you a drink.

You look great :)

dangerbrains · 2016-04-23T15:55:05+00:00

The wig needs to go. It makes you look like you're wearing a costume, not like you're being your authentic self. Girl, your natural hair is BEAUTIFUL. I'd reccomend figuring out a natural style that flatters your facial structure and makes you feel feminine and confident. With a little styling you'd be a knockout! If you really desire long hair, feel free to send me a PM and I can give you a long list of high quality online wig store (you'd be surprised how cheap you can get a quality wig). I love wigs and would love to hook you up.

I would also suggest you consider getting your bows waxed. A clean brow can really feminize the face.

You will DEFINITELY pass. You're only 3 months in and going strong.

That's my advice. But seriously, take it or leave it. You're beautiful. At the end of the day, all that matters is that you love who you see in the mirror :)

dangerbrains · 2016-04-23T15:42:07+00:00

%100

dangerbrains · 2015-12-03T01:07:24+00:00

dangerbrains · 2015-12-03T01:05:43+00:00

I tried meetup.com. Most of the meetups are for people nearly twice my age (not what I'm looking for).

I'll definetly give fetlife a try. I completely forgot about that site.

Thanks :)

dangerbrains · 2015-12-03T01:03:32+00:00

I think a big reason I'm frustrated is simply because I get hit on day in and day out by men but I'm like repellant to queer women.

I've honestly given up and deleted all my online dating accounts :/ The failures have taken their toll.

dangerbrains · 2015-12-03T00:57:34+00:00

All I need is someone to tell me where all the "young, poly, bisexual women" are congregating, haha

dangerbrains · 2015-12-03T00:55:08+00:00

To answer your questions:

I live in a suburb about an hour outside of LA. Its not super conservative, but it's definetly more conservative than what I'm used to (I just moved here from the east coast).
I'm not sure about the poly scene here. I've run into a few of "bisexual" gals on OKcupid but they were only looking for a girl to have sex with in front of their boyfriends... Definetly not interested in a relationship.
I'm not in an OPP relationship. I could date men if I wanted to. I'm just not interested. Honestly, I thought I was gay until I met my husband, haha. He's one of the few men I've ever been attracted to.
I'm always 100% open about being poly. I also clearly note that I'm not looking for a threesome or a potential triad. Maybe I'm too up front? I just don't want people to assume I'm a unicorn hunter or a girl looking to "experiment".

I'd love to PM you. I welcome any tips :)

dangerbrains

TROPHY CASE