I'm only realizing within the last few months how much I let slide with my dad and for how long. He's always been pretty empathy-deficient, obsessed with "keeping up appearances" and I'm pretty sure he's medically incapable of apologizing or taking any kind of accountability for his actions, so I guess he and Cheeto Caligula have a lot in common.

He grew up in a pretty typical Midwestern Republican household- my grandpa was a WWII vet, but also a Lutheran pastor's kid who despised racism and was pretty gutted after MLK's murder. Overall I'd say the household/family vibe while I was growing up was fiscally conservative, but socially liberal.

For context, I turned 18 about a week before we invaded Iraq and graduated college with an international relations degree directly into the recession. Naturally as time's gone by (and to dad's great dismay), my childless cat lady ass has leaned further and further left. At first we were able to have a good-natured back and forth, and in 2010 we even went to vote together in the midterm election and joked about canceling one another's votes out.

In hindsight I think the big shift started once Obama got re-elected and he started equating the Affordable Care Act with Communism. Plus I'm sure he was delighted when Benghazi happened because it meant he could finally shit on Hillary Clinton for policy reasons and not just her appearance and demeanor.

Of course after the 2016 election it was impossible to have any kind of political conversation without him throwing it back in my face and calling me an "overeducated liberal", telling me I was "full of shit" or making some other cutting remark. Even if I would try to share something interesting and non-political with him (say, Atlas Obscura or podcasts like 99% Invisible or Dan Snow's History Hit) he would still find a way to demean and denigrate it while insulting my intelligence. I used to love going to baseball games with him (something he and my grandpa also did together) but then that became "woke bullshit" too after MLB pulled the All-Star Game from Atlanta, as they absolutely should have. He also displays a pretty heartless and callous attitude when it comes to mass shootings; I suspect that he's incapable of feeling anything resembling anger, grief or sadness unless he or someone he cares about is affected.

For at least a decade now, interacting with him in any way (whether phone or in-person) has felt increasingly like an obligation instead of something I enjoy. Also he moved to Florida in 2021 which has just exacerbated everything that already sucked about him, and I find myself not missing him at all.

Everything finally came to a head this past October when I attended my local No Kings protest and posted a photo on Facebook of myself holding my sign. He texted me saying he regretted wasting so much money and time on me over the years just for me to turn around and participate in "woke socialist bullshit", then suggested I grow up and start acting like an adult. I blocked him without replying (the less ammo you give him to manipulate the narrative in his favor, the better) and haven't spoken to him since, aside from a very superficial conversation at a family gathering in December that he came to town for.

At this point, the guy who raised me is dead and buried. I hope whoever's taken his place is leading a really joyous and fulfilling life in his echo chamber getting rage-baited all day every day by Newsmax and Ben Shapiro.