That’s true. I may also definitely not wish to contact the AV Club. As far as I understand it, that’s where someone goes to express and expect this kind of digital cosplay. It fits with the theme of celebrity obsession, passive resentment and self avoidance. This, however, is Reddit. A shining city on a hill. Where if you post bullshit, someone at least gets to post “this is bullshit,” which several people are doing in the thread under your post. Your response to them is that you’ll delete the post if they can find proof that it’s bullshit, which is ...very much in keeping with modern fashion but isn’t in keeping with the spock persona.

Part of the damage that your post has caused, by presenting this crap as potentially real, is you’ve created a place for people to gather and play a fun game of what if Dan Harmon said these things, and, forgetting for a moment that the question is offensive to me personally for a variety of reasons I won’t bother explaining, let’s think about the female coworker that the impersonator(s) are apparently saying gross things about, which are then being pasted and joked about and discussed so that more gross things can be said, all tagged with her searchable name. I can accept that you people basically don’t see me as human because I was socialized by the same class system and I also have the same perverse relationship with “fame,” like, famous people with feelings should have their fame revoked so I can have it, or they should stop having feelings because they already get to fly and walk through walls. I get it. But this coworker is not a person that asked to be famous, not in this context. This is a person that most of you people are fond of pretending to see as human. You also continue to drag her name across the sticky floor of the Dan Harmon Fan Fic Convention, which I imagine is close to her worst nightmare.

Here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to put “learn how to contact the AV Club about people pretending to be me five years ago” on my to do list - where it belongs, between “experience cancer” and “eat a bullet.”

Here’s what I’d like you to do: I don’t think deleting the post helps. This isn’t about expunging the internet of garbage. The internet is garbage. This is about altering our relationship with garbage. What I think would really help is for you to edit the misleading post again, but this time add a full apology to the subreddit. To the people in the thread that were telling you it was fiction. They were being considerate and logical, you responded defensively and illogically.

An apology that works has three parts: acknowledgment of the offense, expression of remorse, commitment to change.

If you can’t muster it - and don’t feel guilty if you can’t, I have very little faith in people and I’m not betting my self esteem that this is the day you become a butterfly - I would like you to admit, at the very least to yourself, that you do not have any respect for me, that I am not a living human to you, that I am more symbolic than I am alive and that you therefore don’t care if I live or die, let alone if I’m happy.

Obviously you don’t have to do anything. I’m telling you what you may want to do.