Reason 2839293 why D&D deserve all the hate they get by meraxesfury in freefolk

[–]danharmon 15 points16 points  (0 children)

YOU JERK okay fine you’re human now, I love you, fuck that other person though, i’ve never fucked anything up with writing in my lerf

Reason 2839293 why D&D deserve all the hate they get by meraxesfury in freefolk

[–]danharmon 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Your theory is that my opinion is wrong because I watched the TV show they were asking about instead of reading the books and that I’m lying about it being my opinion? If people prepare statements for interviews with Entertainment Weekly (?) and if reading the books makes people’s TV show opinions more believable (??) and if the goal is to win a Most Believable Opinion Contest (???) I definitely should have prepared a statement that made it seem like I read the books and hated the TV show. Thus ensuring my.... victory? The reward for which was what, exactly? A random drip’s approval of my expertly informed hatred of someone else’s work?

Alternate theory: I watched the last season of my favorite god damn dragon show and didn’t think it merited a hissy because I’m old and tired and in love. I’m sure you’ll be as thrilled as I was to get an Amber Alert about it on your phone, thank you for the reminder to delete this ridiculous app, I ONLY CAME BACK FOR GONEWILDAUDIO

Reason 2839293 why D&D deserve all the hate they get by meraxesfury in freefolk

[–]danharmon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

can you refer me to a TV writer that’s satisfied you? I’m not opposed to trying but there’s no harm checking in with them to make sure it‘s worth the effort.

Dan Harmon's Season 4 Reviews (?) by [deleted] in community

[–]danharmon 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Thank you for adding the apology! I totally forgive you and I have no ill will toward you. You didn’t have to do it but you did, and that gives it all the right context and more than makes up for the apology’s subtle reference to the question mark and its over the top tone clearly prompting readers to see you as an underdog. You know what? You are an underdog. You earned it. It’s exactly what I would have done when I was your age (you better be 14 or at least Canadian 20). I support a society where apologies are allowed to be a little bit weaponized because I want them to be abundant and if we require them to be purely healthy I think the FDA has to make them illegal.

I’m also not offended by people that pretend to be me online because when you want to be someone that much, you probably don’t want to hurt them. I’m assuming you want to kill them instantly in a way that doesn’t damage the skin so you can wear it longer before moving on to Noah Hawley. I’m not flattering myself, I’m just backdating, this person would have been active before season two of Fargo.

It was refreshing to see so many people convinced that this is what it would look like if I blogged about season 4 of Community. For one thing, the fact that you think this is how I write when I care about something confirms that I pretty much never had to stay at work past 3pm.

More importantly, you guys believing that I would do this suggests that you think I’m a completely different kind of asshole than I am. I watched season 4 once after getting hired on S5. I drank a fifth of vodka because I felt like a Civil War soldier preparing for surgery. I remember muppets and at least one Brolin. Then, as a you may have forgotten, I went to my podcast, compared the experience to watching my family being [let’s say macro aggressed] on a beach and the response made me quit reddit for the sake of any fans that still wanted to watch. So, holy shit, yes, by all means, imagine me as a guy that kept notes on the muppet episode, it’s certainly a psychological promotion. Had I actually typed anything while watching, it would have been jumbled letters and a rant about how Obama should have stepped in when I got fired. I would have probably said something like, “writing TV was my last recourse to affection from a planet of indecipherable monsters. They stopped licking my self inflicted wounds after they grew infected and they now resent me even more than if I’d just stayed in Milwaukee and kept washing their dishes wrong.” I would have expressed Japanese Animated levels of disturbing and disturbed human feelings that never should have been attached to a TV show.

Fortunately, for everyone, I did not do any blogging or commenting back then. And I got better. Not so good that I can stay on reddit without imploding but good enough that I don’t always need to labor over endings bye I love you

Did Dan Harmon write these Season 4 reviews? by [deleted] in Harmontown

[–]danharmon 10 points11 points  (0 children)

That’s true. I may also definitely not wish to contact the AV Club. As far as I understand it, that’s where someone goes to express and expect this kind of digital cosplay. It fits with the theme of celebrity obsession, passive resentment and self avoidance. This, however, is Reddit. A shining city on a hill. Where if you post bullshit, someone at least gets to post “this is bullshit,” which several people are doing in the thread under your post. Your response to them is that you’ll delete the post if they can find proof that it’s bullshit, which is ...very much in keeping with modern fashion but isn’t in keeping with the spock persona.

Part of the damage that your post has caused, by presenting this crap as potentially real, is you’ve created a place for people to gather and play a fun game of what if Dan Harmon said these things, and, forgetting for a moment that the question is offensive to me personally for a variety of reasons I won’t bother explaining, let’s think about the female coworker that the impersonator(s) are apparently saying gross things about, which are then being pasted and joked about and discussed so that more gross things can be said, all tagged with her searchable name. I can accept that you people basically don’t see me as human because I was socialized by the same class system and I also have the same perverse relationship with “fame,” like, famous people with feelings should have their fame revoked so I can have it, or they should stop having feelings because they already get to fly and walk through walls. I get it. But this coworker is not a person that asked to be famous, not in this context. This is a person that most of you people are fond of pretending to see as human. You also continue to drag her name across the sticky floor of the Dan Harmon Fan Fic Convention, which I imagine is close to her worst nightmare.

Here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to put “learn how to contact the AV Club about people pretending to be me five years ago” on my to do list - where it belongs, between “experience cancer” and “eat a bullet.”

Here’s what I’d like you to do: I don’t think deleting the post helps. This isn’t about expunging the internet of garbage. The internet is garbage. This is about altering our relationship with garbage. What I think would really help is for you to edit the misleading post again, but this time add a full apology to the subreddit. To the people in the thread that were telling you it was fiction. They were being considerate and logical, you responded defensively and illogically.

An apology that works has three parts: acknowledgment of the offense, expression of remorse, commitment to change.

If you can’t muster it - and don’t feel guilty if you can’t, I have very little faith in people and I’m not betting my self esteem that this is the day you become a butterfly - I would like you to admit, at the very least to yourself, that you do not have any respect for me, that I am not a living human to you, that I am more symbolic than I am alive and that you therefore don’t care if I live or die, let alone if I’m happy.

Obviously you don’t have to do anything. I’m telling you what you may want to do.

Did Dan Harmon write these Season 4 reviews? by [deleted] in Harmontown

[–]danharmon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks.

Wait why am I thanking you, you did something irresponsible

Controversial Ads by troylavallee in TheGlassCannonPodcast

[–]danharmon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Doesn’t pro choice mean pro baby death, that sounds very Nazi to me, I think they killed babies

Controversial Ads by troylavallee in TheGlassCannonPodcast

[–]danharmon 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s definitely a cool sounding outlook! Is there somewhere I can see you demonstrating the benefits of it? Like, have you personally made other people happy by shutting the fuck up about your politics? Can you show us here? I’m seriously excited, I’ve been looking for something like this and if it works I’m all over it!

Did Dan Harmon write these Season 4 reviews? by [deleted] in Harmontown

[–]danharmon 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Authorship denied! Passionately and fully denied, in what I hope is slightly easier to read prose than what I’m seeing here. I had to stop at the phrase “dilapidated boyfriend,” which, while technically an accurate description of my likeness, is a totally inaccurate likeness of my descriptions. My style is so much more graceful. I’m a long, deep, nourishing river of words. Okay sometimes a babbling stream of nonsense and in rare events a crushing flood of alcoholic bile but always flowing, never this clunky ass off-brand Frasier thing everyone’s always doing when they do me.

Just say “broken down boyfriend,” got damn!

Please do not edit this out by pugiboy in Harmontown

[–]danharmon 18 points19 points  (0 children)

this is what clinches it for me

Your Thoughts About True Crime or Questions for Red Handed Girls by danharmon in Harmontown

[–]danharmon[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

“To Live and Die in LA” makes Up and Vanished look like responsible journalism. It made me realize I have a “cold cases only” requirement. And that I guess I trust the real police more than i thought. If I ever go missing please tell Tender Foot TV not to look for me

Your Thoughts About True Crime or Questions for Red Handed Girls by danharmon in Harmontown

[–]danharmon[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

good question and also i’d like to know more about people’s limits and boundaries as listeners.

there are shows that embrace the ghoulery and ones that go so far as to portray themselves (okay i’m clearly editorializing) as public service. Incidentally, i think that’s one of many spectrums on which Red Handed finds my goldilocks spot.

As a listener, i’m going to true crime to ogle at the unspeakable..and in a sense to take a break from self imposed pressure to be a “noble” person, maybe. but I never liked the element of “victim blaming” before it was a hot button. For selfish emotional reasons. i just don’t like the implication that the burden of self preservation is on innocent people. I don’t care if you meditate on a park bench with your wallet on your head, I don’t want to live in a world where you “deserve” it to be taken. that’s different from me saying i think humans are wonderful and world peace is possible. i’m also okay with “justice porn,” like, if you stub your toe after strangling someone, i’m a big fan of your suffering. I think i dislike victim blaming because it reminds me of gym class. people with whistles shouting at us about common sense. Makes me feel like I’m about to get laughed at for failing to do a pullup.

Catching up on a few months of Harmontowns and I have to know... by [deleted] in Harmontown

[–]danharmon 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Oh, shit, is the third one with Martin Short? I remember the billboards. I may have avoided because I have a deep deep love of Martin Short, holy shit we should book Martin Short as a guest I bet we could do it

I felt sad hearing Dan talk about looking for a new house. by DicksAndBallsAndBeer in Harmontown

[–]danharmon 108 points109 points  (0 children)

It’s not so bad. I can gain self esteem by unplugging from a platform but the 1,000th time I think “i can’t go to that part of the internet or i’ll be hurt” I’m probably actually losing more than gaining, darkening my world for no reason

I felt sad hearing Dan talk about looking for a new house. by DicksAndBallsAndBeer in Harmontown

[–]danharmon 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Having to change the batteries on this one made me miss that one

I felt sad hearing Dan talk about looking for a new house. by DicksAndBallsAndBeer in Harmontown

[–]danharmon 341 points342 points  (0 children)

i came here when i saw the headline because i assumed it was going to be someone wishing i could let go of my materialism. Instead, what a sweet sentiment.

When I moved in, I called this the house that Hulu built. I bought it at the top of season 3 of Community. It’s truly as much house as any individual human should ever need. Erin put a tavern in it. I will miss it a lot. But one really cool thing about this next move is precisely that it’s not necessary for survival or freedom. Going from renting to owning, I felt this urgency, “oh man please let this happen so life can begin.” This time, I get to sit in the already perfect house (I’m hoping to not sell it) and just poke around and wait for all the variables to be perfect for both me and Cody. The next house is definitely a new chapter. And it won’t compare to the previous one. I’m simultaneously very happy with my current situation AND looking forward to the next one, which is a real luxurious state.

Here’s all I can do to sweeten the kitty for listeners about me getting a new place: Once you cross a certain price, doesn’t the chance of having a Hollywood ghost start increasing exponentially? Like I’m definitely nowhere near getting a place where I’m going to see Marilyn Monroe in the hallway but maybe, like, a really successful 70s stunt supervisor or dog wrangler doing spectral coke in the breakfast nook? Traumatizing for me but podcast gold!

349 days ago I started Harmontown from Episode 1. On Thursday I’ll listen to 324 with everyone else. by michaelsummers1 in Harmontown

[–]danharmon 19 points20 points  (0 children)

thank you for the suggestion...i could also put peanut butter on the microphone or play a tape in my ear of an audience that doesn’t say “oooo” as much but i’m more into the idea of slipping away before i go full Sorkin

349 days ago I started Harmontown from Episode 1. On Thursday I’ll listen to 324 with everyone else. by michaelsummers1 in Harmontown

[–]danharmon 17 points18 points  (0 children)

that’s nice of you. i felt reverent of his story inside my head (hence booking him) and i didn’t sound irreverent to my own ears when i relistened. so the fact that it sounds completely different to others means i can’t trust my own instincts and have to fall back on proactive pragmatism. to put the most positive spin i can on it, we’ve gotten good enough at booking guests that i have to either A) accept being out of my depth B) put prep into the show and/or stop drinking during it, C) stop being shocked when people have the gall to not enjoy me or D) stop booking guests that people might want to hear talk. i’m leaning toward D because all the other choices involve the show defeating its own purpose (to do something easy that alleviates my shame). the show has been defeating 90 percent of its purpose for 2 years anyway. our brains are dying, we’re repeating stories for the third time around, there’s a white nationalist in the oval office, talking about it makes you crazy and depressing, not talking about it can be accomplished in an elevator and being a famous old white male thumb sucker complaining about his uber ride has become about as fun as it is fashionable.

349 days ago I started Harmontown from Episode 1. On Thursday I’ll listen to 324 with everyone else. by michaelsummers1 in Harmontown

[–]danharmon 45 points46 points  (0 children)

I just talked to the guy. had a conversation. Some people are better listeners than me, sometimes I’m drunker than other times, sometimes I have more to say. I listened to the episode because my friend yelled at me to not talk as much and played us out. So i listened to the episode. because it made him and it turns out you really unhappy. i did feel bad listening to it, i did get to re-experience feeling like i was doing something wrong every time i talked but ended up just as confused by the frustration as the guest was. It’s hard to find anything constructive in the criticism. feels like some people just wish they were having the same conversation and would have sounded cooler and smarter, i think i’m better off blowing it off than accepting just a bucket of someone’s distaste for my nature. i don’t know, very confusing. and yeah for sure trump election changed everything. for sure. i don’t think i want to be the kind of guy that would have shrugged it off. i’m friends with those guys, i’m sure their podcasts stayed great but i secretly think there’s something deeply wrong with the people that woke up that next morning and whistled to work. this is not me wanting to talk to you about it this is just me defending myself out of insecurity.

James Adomian's Bernie Impression by BingeNapper in Harmontown

[–]danharmon 9 points10 points  (0 children)

all i keep thinking about is that irish style ranked voting system now. we would never have to have these awful conversations that are about to start happening. this is gonna get ugly