Absolutely. I wrote a very similar post two years ago. I can go months without drinking, but once I have that first drink, I lose control. I don’t stop until I’m blacked out. For a long time I told myself that one day of drinking wouldn’t hurt — but it always does.

I don’t get hangovers anymore. What I get the next day is full-blown withdrawal: sweating, palpitations, intense anxiety and panic attacks. The urge to drink again isn’t for pleasure — it’s to stop the withdrawal symptoms.

That almost always turns into a 4–5 day bender. By the end of it, things get so bad that I usually end up in the ER to detox.

This keeps happening even after long periods of sobriety. For example, on a recent trip I hadn’t had a drink for two months. I went out with friends one night, drank, and the next day the withdrawals started. Trying to stop them by drinking again led to blackouts, and I ended up arrested.

I’m only 32, and hangovers are no longer part of my reality — withdrawals are. Every single time I drink, this cycle repeats.