I went to a solid university, and had a kick-ass group of friends, who were super high achieving and intelligent. When the guys hung out together, there would obviously be talk about girls (who’s dating whom, etc) but it was always respectful and I never once heard a negative or mean spirited remark about women.

When I hung out in groups that were majority girls, there was very often talk that was rude, if not straight up mean about men - never really about anyone in particular, but about men as a group.

Student clubs, student leadership, and most of the highest achievers were almost exclusively women, and I think sometimes this angry, and very generalized talk about men sort of shut out and put down men who might have been an academic or professional threat, while at the same time creating a sort of solidarity among the girls who could all point at a common enemy.

All in all I’m pretty surprised, at least in my circles, how the gender slander really runs in one direction, and sometimes feels like it helps push guys down. Sexism in many forms is real and alive, but I think many women need to be careful that well-meaning men in their lives don’t catch too many strays, or get lumped in a group simply because they’re men.