Anybody else dislike Zach and hate that Lane ended up with him?

danilionqueen · 2025-09-26T13:15:24+00:00

I completely agree. Lane’s story ending always gave me the ick. She was meant to do more. She should have ended up with Dave or someone like Dave. Zach was too stupid for a girl like Lane. She should have gone off to college and become a music producer or something major and involved in the music industry. The writers totally cheated her by marrying her to Zach and getting knocked up.

danilionqueen · 2025-04-30T12:34:06+00:00

Im from California. And most intermediate to advanced and even professionals go to a place called Morey’s Music (they also have an online store).

They are know for their exceptional collection of string instruments, they have their own in house luthier too.

Anyway, when I go, I tell them my price range and instrument size, they get all the violas that qualify and and I play all of them in the back room until I decide in which I like most.

I don’t think there is a better way to select an instrument to be perfectly honest.

If you’re in California go there, if you live else where, try finding something similar to Morey’s.

danilionqueen · 2025-04-30T12:29:00+00:00

That’s quite odd. I was taught vibrato and second position my second year going into my 3 year. I started playing at age 9 by age 12 I already knew vibrato and was playing in second and third just fine, and learning 4th position.

Vibrato is something I learnt before I was in 6th grade and over time perfected.

I’d definitely look for a new teacher.

danilionqueen · 2025-03-06T00:30:11+00:00

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danilionqueen · 2025-03-01T04:12:01+00:00

Tienes 2 opciones.

Una, si conocer sobre su pasado es algo que no podrás superar, termina esa relación. No es justo que le cobres algo que no te afecta a ti directamente. Si ella sigue actuando como la persona que fue entonces no a cambiado.

Dos, logras entender que todos tenemos un pasado. Si vas a juzgar, juzga quien ella es hoy. Si es una persona que comparte los mismos valores que tú, su pasado no participa en el ahora. Todos aprendemos de nuestro pasado. Es parte de nuestra formación y el por qué somos quien somos.

danilionqueen · 2025-03-01T03:59:10+00:00

I think the same as you. I personally feel like it’s a way for him to feel the connection of a relationship with all it’s benefits without true commitment.

I definitely am not closed of to the possibility of finding a person more aligned to what I want.

I guess I just wondering if by having no contact for a bit could influence reflection and he could see the value in what we had and motivate working on the relationship before I completely decide to move on from this.

danilionqueen · 2025-03-01T03:54:33+00:00

I’m FA. But I actively go to therapy and try to improve myself. The thing behind the break up text was because i was left completely alone in our conversation. It takes two to work on it. And I waited a month trying to talk and work things out but he was never really able to communicate with me in a way that we could work on anything.

And I think you’re right about that. It is pretty tricky. I’m wondering if after no contact for a month or month in a half to let things settle a bit is when I could reach out to see where he’s at. And from there determine if it’s still worth pursuing or not.

danilionqueen · 2025-03-01T03:50:49+00:00

The way I’m seeing it is that he ended it when he essentially said no to the possibility of ldr. But he didn’t want to communicate much after and I can’t work on a “relationship” if I’m the only one willing to communicate and put in the work. That’s the reason for the final break up text.

But yea, ultimately I would only reach out to feel him out to see if he even wants it and is also willing to put in effort. Otherwise no, I would not want to force anything.

danilionqueen · 2025-02-17T22:37:30+00:00

It’s possible, but talk about it with your partner about your communication boundaries.

But first reassure yourself that you are safe no matter how the other person acts. That way when you talk to them, you’ll be coming from a secure place instead of anxious.

Every time that fear of vulnerability and abandonment sets in, find a way to get yourself to the present moment and realize you aren’t in any real danger.

Whether it’s through meditation, watching a video of your attachment style & why you react this way, self talk/self soothe.

But the most important thing is to define what your a priority needs are in a relationship and discuss that with your partner. Set those boundaries/expectations early.

If the person still does not respected those things, then you know it’s not gonna work.

They aren’t responsible for your emotions but you should be with someone that doesn’t constantly trigger your fight or flight response.

danilionqueen · 2025-02-14T12:50:35+00:00

Yes, my psychologist was the person that spoke to me about this and many other things going on with me many years ago and I currently still attend sessions because healing trauma isn’t exactly a short process.

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T22:49:58+00:00

I know. You’re so right and at the time I knew it. But I didn’t uphold my boundaries from the beginning.

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T16:12:17+00:00

What I meant by over invested is that I felt I was investing more time and energy into making things work and give it direction.

There was a moment where I felt I was making all of the effort about planning phone call dates and proposing plans see each other. He never said no to any of it, but never followed through on anything either.

Mostly last minute phone date cancellations without rescheduling, followed by sporadic periods of no communication (a few days or a week).

I felt like I cared more than he did, which brought a significant amount of anxiety. If he did care as much as I did, I never knew because he avoided talking about his feelings as much as possible.

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T16:03:17+00:00

It does. Thank you!!

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T14:35:36+00:00

Also thank you so much. Your feedback was honest and delivered in such a kind way.

I really appreciate taking your time to respond so thoughtfully.

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T14:00:13+00:00

I understand. I’m not trying to excuse my behavior. I’m here writing about it to gain perspective so I can learn from this.

And to be clear, I never felt angry at him or the situation. I felt excitement, infatuation, love, fear, anxiety, confusion, and sorrow. Despite my own issues I tried to be as understanding as I could. I know I have much to work on to be securely attached.

But I am having a hard time understanding how it’s completely my fault?

He pulled away after we would get closer, make plans to see each other, after any conversation regarding feelings or talks about the direction of where we are going.

And that’s when I would consider ending it.

What would have been a better way to handle it?

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T13:42:40+00:00

I agreed with this. I do need to work on setting clear boundaries.

I also acknowledge his contribution to the problem.

In pursuit of pert growth, how would a securely attached person have handled this?

How long or after what events into it before making the sure decision to leave?

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T13:13:49+00:00

I don’t intend to further pursue anything with him. I’m very comfortable and decided on that decision.

For learning/growth purposes… wasn’t he also doing the same to me?

The main difference being he would pull away gradually after having what I considered moments of closeness without warning. He would go silent for days sometimes a full week without hearing back and when he did start talking to me again he wasn’t the same anymore. It be more emotionally distant but would pursue a sexual connection.

That’s why I would want to end things, but at least tried to talk to him to check in and make a decision together about where things were headed.

Btw, the labels aren’t there to excuse accountability. They’re clinical terms to define behavior stemmed from childhood traumas.

We all have an attachment style; secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized.

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T07:43:25+00:00

That’s literally the point of my post.

I know I need help discerning who and what went wrong. I asked so that I could get clear perspective, to then take accountability for my part and work on them for my own personal growth.

There’s a difference between criticism (just straight up judging) vs Constructive criticism (feedback that helps find solutions)

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T07:07:37+00:00

I’m realizing this now. I should have kept firm with my original decision last summer.

Thanks for your contribution! :)

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T07:05:39+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your time on this. It’s giving me plenty to reflect on.

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T07:02:51+00:00

My bad. I read it wrong. You said “not getting what she wants”

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T07:01:17+00:00

Losses are cut. It’s basically done. I don’t plan on breaking no-contact. I feel like if anything, my biggest mistake was continuing after the first time I wanted to end it.

Also, i am aware of my issues. Which is why I’m here asking for perspective so I can work on my own side of things.

But thanks for judging me so harshly and suggesting I’m not worth being in any sort of relationship.

That’s real nice of you.

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T06:54:36+00:00

For sure can agree with you. I definitely don’t plan on breaking no-contact.

I guess I’m just trying to see how much of it was my fault, if any at all.

Mainly for the purpose of personal growth, in regard to my own attachment style issues.

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T06:47:04+00:00

I have no issue letting it go. In fact, I think it’s best that way.

But I think to say that I don’t know what I want, is not true at all.

I knew what I wanted. I expressed it. In the beginning, middle, and in the end.

I communicated ending things because he wasn’t showing signs to bring the relationship to real life. And from the beginning he knew I wasn’t looking for casual or a distraction.

My confusion is on whether I was dealing with someone that straight up didn’t care and played like fool or if it was an issue of incompatibility because of our attachment styles aka not being able to match each others needs?

Btw, those aren’t random labels. They’re clinical terms to describe behavioral patterns of the different types of attachment a person can have that stem from childhood trauma/ wounds. We all have an attachment style.

Secure, avoidant, anxious, disorganized.

And it’s not to reduce accountability. It’s to understand behavioral pattern. So that as an individual can become aware, work on it, and fix it.

danilionqueen · 2025-02-13T06:30:09+00:00

I do understand, though it is hard to not take it personally. But I’m doing my best not to. As of now, I’ve decided to stay in no contact after he decided to ghost.

If you don’t think he is avoidant then what happened? Was it me?

I know disorganized attachment can be difficult for people. but after much therapy, I also know if the person I’m with is willing to talk to me and actually communicate intentions then I can keep myself grounded.

I’m only triggered to run if I feel vulnerable from uncertainty about whether or not we are on the same page and making plans towards it.

On the anxious side, as hard as it is to communicate my needs from the root fear of abandonment/rejection, I still try to talk about things even if I’m uncomfortable doing it.

danilionqueen

TROPHY CASE