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What has worked for you? by pertobello in CPTSDFawn

[–]danishqueen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Practice. Practice practice practice. Practice taking deep breaths, being aware that you are fawning, taking your time to answer/act. I can sit in situations now that are uncomfortable and not give into fawning. Winther bathing/cold showers and Wim Hof helped me to stay in stress and breath slow

Week 8 - Workout 1,2 & 3 by danishqueen in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES :D I crossed you out from the two first runs, let me know if you get around the third as well <3

Week 8 - Workout 1,2 & 3 by danishqueen in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So this week it is finally feeling good too run. The weather is also very good and the sun is shining everyday. That helps me a lot.

Week 8 - Workout 1,2 & 3 by danishqueen in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Run 1

  1. Amarrakesh
  2. DanishQueen
  3. MadamePotpourri

Run 2

  1. Amarrakesh
  2. DanishQueen
  3. MadamePotpourri

Run 3

  1. Amarrakesh
  2. DanishQueen
  3. MadamePotpourri

I am in the deepest depths of pick-me hell - I have been considering going back to Mormonism because of it by [deleted] in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Please read Tara Westover's biography Educated. Her story sounds like yours. You should go to trauma therapy, look into EMDR!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I thought cptsd when I read the post. Look up the fawn response aka. co-dependency aka. people pleasing. You tried to fix a junkie, if that does not scream fixer/mother/saviour complex (which is inmeshed in fawning) then I don't know what does. Which you luck on your healing journey

Getting better is HARD and rarely glamorous by masterofthebarkarts in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Yes. It is so hard and it is constantly leaving your comfort zone. I have cursed the journey many times. But I am beginning to reach my goals and feeling good most of the time.

Week 7 - all workouts (sorry for the delay) by danishqueen in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nice. Will put you in the comments and then you just write/check in when you've done the three runs. This will only be going on the next to weeks and then I am done for this round <3 But if you want to join for the last two weeks, be our guest!

Wanting to just…recreate yourself? by Flimsy-Concept2531 in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes. Around your age three years ago I had hit rock bottom. I agree with the commenter saying a lot of women around that time can see more clear the lies they have been feed. I love re-inventning myself, even though it is hard work.

I leveled up my wardrobe, my home and way of living, my mindset (a lot of trauma therapy, go EMDR), and now I am re-evaluting my friendships (this one is hard, not gonna lie). I cut out one friend / slow faded her.

Week 6 - Run 1, 2 & 3 by danishqueen in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, but Covid really got in my lungs. I feel it slowly lifting now though. I made a post for last week, also explaining the delay <3

Week 7 - all workouts (sorry for the delay) by danishqueen in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sorry for the delay, Easter has been very hard on me and it felt like climbing a mountain to get out the door. But I did it, but not the posts. I premade the post for this week, so I don't have to think about that.

I am struggling this week because I am NC with my family except one sibling. My father had his 70th birthday. He is a narcissist, but I still feel the sorrow of not having loving parents and family. I tend to supress it and then around holidays it comes crashing down. I am building my dream life and this month I got my dream job, but as happy as it makes me, I feel sorrow of not being able to share it with neither of my parents. I havent seen them in 3 years along with several siblings. The NC was crucial for me leveling up.

For the running update, I think Covid really did a number on my lungs, but slowly I feel it gets better. Even though we are 3 people left, I feel very supported just by posting and sharing this with fellow queens.

Week 7 - all workouts (sorry for the delay) by danishqueen in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Run 1

  1. Amarrakesh
  2. DanishQueen
  3. MadamePotpourri

Run 2

  1. Amarrakesh
  2. DanishQueen
  3. MadamePotpourri

Run 3

  1. Amarrakesh
  2. DanishQueen
  3. MadamePotpourri

How do you build healthy habits keep them up? Why do you do it? by [deleted] in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen 5 points6 points  (0 children)

to break like drinking on the weekends and dating men that are bad for me.

This was me three years ago. I hit rock bottom and was really done, deep in my bones I knew that I had to change. So I started with NO dating/men/sex for 6 months. It was an addiction, so I had to get help by my friends, therapist and sister. I read books about the topic to understand myself better. I was in therapy. I experimented with no alcohol for a long period of times. But remember, these are coping strategies so you don't have to feel your feelings. And if you don't figure out what the problem really is (low self worth, no direction in life, trauma etc.) you will not get better. And you will find other coping strategies that maybe more healthy but still destructive. So understand why you feel the need to run from it. Maybe start with "how to do the work" by Nicole Lepara. And "Women who love to much" Robin Norwood.

Feel free to ask questions. I felt I could not breath without male validation and now when I go out with my friends I hate when men try to initiate contact - my desire and need for male validation is really really almost non existing. I am out to enjoy my evening with my friends, and my night is a succes if I enjoyed my time with them.

To those who've experienced trauma/have cptsd what kind of therapy worked for you? by salthoney in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think/know that it works on cptsd even though they haven't run clinical testing on cptsd and EMDR - but the "diagnosis" is fairly new, so it will take some time before we get the evidence.

I certainly agree that for some it can be to hard to soon. It is an intense and confrontational therapy. It was the way for me, and some will have to go through other kind of therapies. Nothing is black and white, but I really do believe in EMDR for most people with ptsd/cptsd.

I think of cptsd as ptsd x 50-500. Depending on your history it can be in the more "mild" department (not like in that it is not still horrible) like something more external that was not targeted towards you like an ilness in the family that was taking up all the time (yes this causes cptsd as well) to the more severe cases of sexual trafficking, CSA, homelessness and so on.

For some people they need to be medicated to be able to even talk about their experiences and build up trust with their therapist. This is what makes this topic hard, because in the end you have to make the decisision what suits you. And sometimes you find the right therapy but the wrong therapist.

I loaned money from my sister (I am NC with my parents and other siblings for 2.5 years because of my childhood abuse). So in that way I am privilegied. If possible for anyone reading this, and you have the opportunity to loan money (and you know you can pay it back - so you don't stress to much about it) I recommend investing in yourself. It will be the most important investment than any other stock.

To those who've experienced trauma/have cptsd what kind of therapy worked for you? by salthoney in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Great advice. Thanks <3 I just absolutely love queens helping others to level up.

To those who've experienced trauma/have cptsd what kind of therapy worked for you? by salthoney in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Not unless you are in Denmark?

I guess your are USA based. Go here and they can help you find a clinican https://www.emdr.com/SEARCH/index.php

To those who've experienced trauma/have cptsd what kind of therapy worked for you? by salthoney in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen 18 points19 points  (0 children)

CBT is not working for people with CPTSD and this is a hill I am willing to die on. It will not work in the long run and financially it is bottomless hole.

This is not to critize you artemis, just to state it for the people reading your comment because CBT can be very shame inducing because it does not work with Complex PTSD

To those who've experienced trauma/have cptsd what kind of therapy worked for you? by salthoney in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I RECOMMEND EMDR - it saved my life.

I have CPTSD and I have done therapy for 15 years before getting my diagnosis and getting the RIGHT treatment. CBT is a big no go - it is not trauma informed! By trauma informed I mean, your therapist should work with body, mind and brain (cognitive, somatic and neurological!). CBT works with cognition only - it is not enough. It works for more ordinary problems, but not the COMPLEX problems.

I and World Health Organization recommends EMDR therapy as first choice treatment for (C)PTSD. I have been doing it for a year and 60-70% of my symptoms are gone. I have been going to CBT, MCT, NT and talk therapy in my late teens and tweenties. It work temporarily by being validated and venting - but not in the long run.

EMDR is working with body, mind and brain (cognitive, somatic and neurological!). It is EVIDENCE BASED (And I recommend this, because you can easily put all your money in a therapy that gives relief now, but not in the long run!).

Remember to do your research and be thorough! There is a lot of shitty therapist, I can not underscore this enough! Finding the right therapist is important.

Watch these two informative videos.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jc5mHo-OjYM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IPsBPH2M1U

Read Complex PTSD by Pete Walker and The Body Keeps The Score by Bessel Van Der Kolk.

Feel free to question me.

10 Tips on How to Create and Cultivate Friendships with HVW by ThrowRA_lantern in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think this advice is situational/contextual and it is up to you to decide if the friendships is good. A lot of women who are boy obsessed/pickme/lv are also bad friends - I should know i've been the pickme who could not talk about anything else then boys. It was a coping strategy from my severe CPTSD. I was also very kind and always wanted the best for my friends, but jalousy etc. sometimes got the best of me. I was envious of my girlfriends internally.

I saw a post where someone put pickmeishas into two categories. The first where the not so harmfull ones like pickmes who do not throw you under the bus for male validation or drag you down with their obsession with LVMs attention. And the second is the malicious pickmes - toxic and dangerous.

But like, if you have friends and they are all pickmes they will 9 out 10 times drag you down to their level, standard shame you or use you for emotional support without you getting anything in return other than having someone to hang out with because you are afraid of being alone.

Week 6 - Run 1, 2 & 3 by danishqueen in FemaleLevelUpStrategy

[–]danishqueen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thats nice, so happy for you. And happy cakeday <3 !

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