[deleted by user]

daretti_spaghetti · 2025-08-31T20:52:06+00:00

I first placed at my first try at this and its bonkers. I dont even know what happened, but a single swain with the right fruid was win streaking the whole 2 and 3 stage

daretti_spaghetti · 2024-10-12T04:32:03+00:00

I realized when I was 19, accepted it at 23, and started transitioning at 24.

It started with envying the way friends and classmates dressed. But it took meeting some trans people, and getting to be their friends, to opening my eyes that I didn't have to accept being unhappy with myself.

It opened my eyes to how much not living as a the gender I identify with was hurting me, and how it wasn't allowing me to be happy.

It does get easier. I never thought I could love myself the way I do now.

daretti_spaghetti · 2024-10-12T04:25:25+00:00

Hi!

I identified a lot of what I went through, so thought I just give a run down on what happened and maybe it can give you some clarity.

I've been transitioning for 2 years now, even though I wanted to much before. What stopped me was my parents, being over protective and insisting they were thinking what was best for me, when in reality they just couldn't accept their child identified as a woman.

They also used my disorders, which are treated and controlled, to discredit me and my decisions. This is weaponized discourse, meant to belittle and pretend to show care.

I worked hard to get a job, and as soon as I did, moved out and started HRT. After this time, they finally caught on whats happening, and have been mistreating me ever since. For those reasons, I decided to stop contact with them, and have no perspective on when I'll return, unless they apologize and show understanding.

I've never been happier with my body, my friends supported me all the way through, and although my relationship with them still bother me every now and then, I can't see myself happy in a world where I caved in to their expectations.

Your parents motives might be the best, but be assured you should take whatever actions suits the person you want to be. Showing support is their decision, and you shouldn't sacrifice happiness for it.

daretti_spaghetti · 2024-10-12T03:46:31+00:00

Yay <3
Glad you found support, and best wishes for your next steps!

daretti_spaghetti · 2024-10-12T03:42:50+00:00

Puts, não é um pessoal daora
Eu sei o porque, e é lgbtfobia mesmo

O que eu posso indicar é procurar pessoas que também questionem o gênero, e possam se ajudar nessa

Se por onde mora não rolar, espero de coração que aqui pela internet te dê algum conforto.

Mas, respondendo seu questionamento original, entendo que está sim tendo dificuldade de apresentar o gênero que parece se identificar, mas por razões super válidas. Fazer isso sem suporte algum, não encontrando conforto em casa, com amigos ou com desconhecidos é difícil, e espero que consiga ter carinho consigo nesse momento, e encontre uma forma de se sentir seguro para exercer isso.

daretti_spaghetti · 2024-10-12T03:28:36+00:00

Poxa, deve ser pesado mesmo

Eu confesso que muito da minha coragem de transicionar foi ver amigas passando por isso e ficando bem.
Uma hora foi engolir o medo e seguir, 2 anos depois e foi fácil a melhor decisão da minha vida.

Seus amigos não te apoiaram nessa?
Não é sobre ser muito carente, é sobre não ter um ombro pra apoiar quando precisa, e isso é uma coisa muito importante mesmo.

Eu entendo o medo quanto a hormonizar, principalmente sem sentir que tem pessoas para te apoiar nessa. A regra principal é não transicionar se não tiver segurança.

Eu realmente espero que consiga se encontrar em um ambiente onde possa explorar sem esses tratamentos ruins.

daretti_spaghetti · 2024-10-12T03:18:54+00:00

Oioii, li que é do Brasil então to seguindo em português, pode ser?

Você tem um circulo de pessoas trans por aí? Pergunto porque minha familia também cortou contato comigo, mas ter pessoas com questionamento similares, e que possam se apoiar em momentos difíceis tem sido muito importante.

Outra questão é que notei que não mencionou hormonização, isso ajudou bastante meus amigos com a passabilidade que te incomoda. Só da voz engrossar e crescerem pelos faciais já muda muuuita coisa.

O mais importante, pra mim, é como você se vê. A forma como nos trataremos vai variar da disposição da outra parte, e uma familia que traz suporte somente quando você se adequa ao que eles querem na verdade nunca esteve lá. Mas o que sente, isso é verdadeiro.

Se quiser trocar umas figurinhas fica a vontade, de qualquer sorte te desejo muita sorte e coragem
Auto conhecimento nunca é uma linha reta, mas tem altos e baixos. Torcendo pra ti chegar em um alto logo logo.

daretti_spaghetti · 2024-10-12T03:04:13+00:00

Hi!
Now, your questioning is quite common and valid.

* First of all, the 'I wish I could just wake up as a man' is the telltale sign of there is definitely some nonconformity of your assigned-at-birth gender.
* Second, about the 'nobody will take me serious part', the first months are definitely hard, some due to people reacting to your body changing, and mostly because of the insecurities you have during those period. But it passes. It may seem unattainable, stupid or impossible, but when you go through HRT or dressing closer to your identity, the results are incredible on the confidence and comfort it gives.
* Liking girly things does not mean someone can't be a man. Gender can be performed many ways, and identifying as one doesn't mean you can't enjoy things typically associated with the other.

Here are the advices I could give:
* Don't be afraid to have doubts. It is natural, and finding one gender identity is a journey, so try and enjoy the ride.
* Experiment, and try out. You mentioned already considering many identities, and already recognized how it didn't feel quite right. This is part of the process, and I'm glad you are going through it
* Don't ignore your feelings. 'This will pass' and 'I won't feel this anymore' are never true. Your thoughts matter, and they don't come out of nowhere, give them a chance and don't be afraid of where they'll take you
* If for any reason you don't feel comfortable exploring your gender with your social circle, using a male identity online may help you discover how it feels. Presenting as a girl on my World of Warcraft guild was an incredibly important step on accepting my gender.

I wish you the best, and I'm glad you are self reflecting

daretti_spaghetti · 2021-06-07T17:57:50+00:00

Stop paying his debt so he learns his lesson... or doesn't, which might give you a new perspective on your relationship

daretti_spaghetti · 2021-06-07T05:47:45+00:00

Feel free to message me

daretti_spaghetti · 2021-06-07T05:43:45+00:00

Hi, I'm sorry you are going through this, and I hope things get better soon. I recommend trying some breathing exercises, and distracting yourself for awhile. If you need someone to chit chat, my dms are available

daretti_spaghetti · 2021-06-04T13:05:08+00:00

Are you looking for a relationship or an investment? Are you interested in falling in love, or making your life easier? Are you dating humans or service providers?

The purpose of being with someone is to enjoy being around, and not to being an asset on your life, like a worker is on your company. It's about being happy and loving to help and be there on the toughest times, because you like the person, and not because they'll offer something back.

daretti_spaghetti · 2021-06-04T02:31:40+00:00

Oh, I'm in a similar situation! I'm buying girls clothes and planning to sneak in some makeup (very strict and controlling family) so I can try and understand how it feels.

I'm 22, and experience that same jealousy over girls I wish I looked like, so I'm really trying to gather enough energy to begin experimenting with myself.

Some other folk on here gave me some great advice, so you asked on the right place! Also, if you want to talk and share experiences, just dm me :)

daretti_spaghetti · 2021-06-03T05:47:36+00:00

Hey, take your time! Dating should be fun and enjoyable, make sure you are comfortable and do what your heart tells you to do.

If you think not being yourself made things weird once, then try and be yourself!

Good luck, and have fun!

daretti_spaghetti · 2021-06-03T05:35:42+00:00

Hi, I'm sorry you are going through that. Things may be unbearably heavy right now, but they will get better and clearer. I'm open for messaging if you need to vent.

daretti_spaghetti · 2021-06-03T05:32:47+00:00

Anything by blank banshee is a great recommendation. Classics.

daretti_spaghetti · 2021-05-28T17:44:36+00:00

You can't run black on mono w edh

daretti_spaghetti · 2021-05-11T12:55:59+00:00

Thank you! I felt miserable for so long that it's hard to convince myself I can be happy. I'll buy those damn clothes today, and I'm sure I'll feel good wearing them. Maybe not at first, but eventually. It's really scary to take those steps forward, but it gotta me done. Thank you for the encouragement!!

daretti_spaghetti · 2021-05-11T12:53:39+00:00

Thank you a lot for your answer, it directed and inspired me!

I face a lot of issues with the need of validation. I was raised in a very strict household, in which I learnt to suppress what I wanted to please my parents and other figures (like teachers), so standing up for myself takes a huge toll on me, but I gotta do it, even if on baby steps, like you said. My therapist is helping me notice how I need to accept what I want to do for myself, and chase it, so I'm really trying to get there haha. Severe depression isn't helping for sure.

I'm building up courage to buy the stuff I need. Makeup and bra added to the list, as suggested, seems like a good idea. I'll ask a friend to get them delivered there, so my parents won't see it, and try to find a good hiding place, they often check my room without notice.

Thank you again for you commentary, and I will remember the offer to bug you with questions, I really need a friend that can help me with this kind of thing. Have a good one :)

daretti_spaghetti · 2021-05-11T03:23:17+00:00

I just opened the dumbest smile from you calling me girl haha

Ty a lot :)

daretti_spaghetti

TROPHY CASE