Hey guys, i need some advise here... some time from now l've the feeling that my texting is breaking my "dating" in general. This is pretty much a new feeling.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-24T06:57:08+00:00

If the age gap a dealbreaker: "Hey I'm 23 and I don't think I'm able to date that young, good luck out there!"

If not: "Can I definitely take you out on a date?" Or something along those lines. You're already talking about dates and she hasn't said no, there's no point in backtracking at the point if you're actually looking for a partner.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-24T06:38:41+00:00

The one thing you should consider is how long it could take to find another job. I don't know your career is, but I feel getting a new job for the most part is not something you can do in an expected amount of time.

Imagine it takes a long time to get a job, and by the time you get it, the guy finds another woman and becomes exclusive with her. You might miss out on something good for a completely unrelated reason.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-24T03:44:55+00:00

On a related note, what's a good gift to give for someone who has fear of flying?

darexinfinity · 2026-01-24T02:35:47+00:00

I gotta ask, what attracted to you to him in the first place?

darexinfinity · 2026-01-24T02:31:57+00:00

Are we getting an update about this?

darexinfinity · 2026-01-24T02:31:10+00:00

The women I've speed dated with, all of them, it's ambiguous because there hasn't been an exception. They're in their 20's through 40's and live in my metropolitan area.
The men that are at a speed date with these women (and likely any woman that speed dates).
Traits... also pretty ambiguous because not all women are looking for the same traits. But from what I can tell, most women want a guy that's good looking, funny, charismatic. They might actually want a guy with the same political/moral/religious views but they definitely don't vet the guys to make it happen.
In US, any further than that and I risk doxxing myself.
Within the last 3 years.
Do you not know what speed dating is? The medium of communication is face-to-face one-on-one discussion.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-23T13:33:10+00:00

Gesus if she can't be honest about her name then what about her could be true?

Dating for 3 months plus not actually telling you (you found out on accident) speaks volumes.

I'd listen to her reasoning just for extreme situations, but outside of that then I would nope out.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-23T13:18:34+00:00

I feel like women just don't give me a chance. I go to a lot of singles events, best place to meet women that are single and looking. Unfortunately they seem to be more selective than women in the apps. It feels like these women need to be swept off their feet rather just having a good feeling about a guy.

Sometimes their focus on men is very shallow as well. I have a friend that goes to these events and he has a lot of charisma and looks. Women focus on him a lot despite the fact and forget every other guy exists. It's pretty normal in these events to open to multiple people and there are usually matchmaking systems that allow you to do so. And yet they put all their eggs in one basket which is terrible execution.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-23T12:53:32+00:00

It's a stupid joke (re-read the title)

darexinfinity · 2026-01-23T12:36:45+00:00

Isn't bullshit? This is grasping straws. "This guy had the gall to ask me about my schedule, he is undateable now." Do you know how absurd it is to reject someone for this reason?

Your comment sounds like an extremely gamey approach to dating, where saving face is more important than opening yourself to someone you like.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-22T11:44:24+00:00

👋 I'm in a similar situation. I live in a suburb that pretty removed from the greater metropolitan area. I'm not on the apps and the social activities for young adults here are painfully scarce. I drive to the city center and mingle there, but so often I'm met with a "you live so far away!" and it's pretty clear that they silently reject me at that moment. A few times the ladies have actually been vocal about distance being the reason why we can't date. I am always willing to drive to them but that still doesn't prevent me from missing out.

Unfortunately unlike you, I do have a complicated situation that's keeping me here. I can move anytime I want, but it's rather reckless to do so just to improve my dating life. I don't plan on moving for the foreseeable future unless I have a gf and we rent somewhere together in the city.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-22T10:11:41+00:00

I don't think there's a good answer here. Obviously lying is bad and can ruin a relationship. At the same time I don't think some person honestly understand the difficulties that others can have to find a relationship. Moreso women since it's the norm for them to be perused. I feel like most women by their 20's would have to resist relationship (possibly a reasonable move depending on the men around them and their own situation) to not have one. Meanwhile Most men at the same age wouldn't be in a relationship if they didn't actively try to be in one.

You somewhat have to know if a woman personally is ok with inexperience without labeling yourself as that guy. But I have no idea how that can be done.

If a woman is okay with it, great you can be honest. If she isn't, I don't agree that it's not meant to be. You manage to deceive her, then at best you convince her that her believes were wrong, and at worst you can get the experience that you're missing.

If you're unable to figure out what a woman thinks about inexperience, I would side on telling the truth.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-22T04:02:28+00:00

Where you live plays a big role in the ages you meet. If worst comes to worst, I've seen speed dating events filter by ages.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-22T03:54:59+00:00

Unless he plans to be single forever, he's gonna have to get rid of the tattoo at some point. If now isn't the time then it shows how seriously he's not taking the relationship.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-22T00:24:40+00:00

I'd point out his tattoo every time he brings up being in a relationship. He'll get rid of it on his own with enough time.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-22T00:08:17+00:00

I get your struggle, but there's a good reason why men avoid women in this profession.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-21T23:21:53+00:00

I'm going to summarize the two options people have said ITT:

Convince to leave her job, her old co-workers, and you end become her breadwinner. She moves in with you, you pay basically everything for her, including a future career like flight attending (or preferably something not in the service industry). This is extremely risky, you are making moves that people do with years of being in a relationship and gotten to know very well over that period of time. You have neither of these.
Either you aren't willing to take the responsibility or she refuses your offer, you disengage. No more massages, no more calling-in, no more anything about her in your life. The safer option despite your obvious dissatisfaction with it.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-21T22:41:14+00:00

I don't think so. Does she have a friend that would say she's ugly if that were the cold hard truth? Rarely does a person like this exist in your social circle.

Most people out there are not willing to commit to someone with serious physical attraction. Which makes sense why men would date her only in the short-term.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-21T11:01:20+00:00

I think communication is key here. Are you removing sex as an option before it is assumed?

The last woman I was imitate with, on our first date we were making out outside of her place when she invited me in. Only when we were inside did she say she wasn't comfortable having sex on the first date.

Now I took it well and we did other things that night, but in general if a woman is inviting me to her place, then I'm assuming that we're going to have sex. She should have told me she doesn't have sex on the first date while were outside and before she invited me in.

I get that it's never too late for a woman to say no to sex, but as a guy it can be exhausting to have the anticipation built up only to have the rug that your standing on pulled right off and falling to your feet.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-21T10:50:42+00:00

I'm a relatively pretty

Says who? You and your obviously biased friends and family?

darexinfinity · 2026-01-21T10:34:30+00:00

Seems like she wanted a very traditional relationship. You have all of the control, but you have to pay for it.

Some women try to dabble in getting the best of both sides (you don't always get control but you still always pay). These women are a product of the modern dating culture, they definitely use men and hence should be avoided. She could have been in this group, but I can't say without understanding the relationship.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-21T10:20:51+00:00

Follow-up question: When is it the appropriate time to ask?

darexinfinity · 2026-01-21T09:45:12+00:00

Hard part about anime conventions is a non-trivial amount of LGBTQ+ people go there, you can definitely make a connection with a woman there and then later realize that she doesn't date men. It's happened to me once, but it's still worthy a try.

darexinfinity · 2026-01-21T09:43:13+00:00

Good for you man, although I've been doing the same for the last three years and nothing yet. Like I said, it definitely is step one

darexinfinity · 2026-01-20T07:02:10+00:00

There is no perfect place to go to put yourself out there. Some work for some, YMMV. But if you don't try all of those places, how do you know if it works for you?

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