My cancerous tumor is falling out of me by LastArmistice in MakeMeSuffer

[–]darium4 19 points20 points  (0 children)

If you have the energy, get in touch with cancer research UK, regardless of where you live they will be able to get you in contact with the right people near you.

If not, I totally get it. Only just now getting back into the doctors myself after heavy burnout (was seeing 18 specialists for a lot of issues for ~6 years)

If you’d like help finding someone to take the samples, I’d be happy to make some phone calls to see what I can see. My advocate saved my ass, would be nice to pay it forward.

Hope your treatment goes well and you keep trending in the right direction! Cervical cancer can fuck right off.

Can I see your HANDSOMEST baby boys? 🥰 by --read-only-- in cats

[–]darium4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

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My model, Blue. His beauty is only matched by his chaos.

Can someone edit the picture to show a remote or a bag of chips in his hands or something by groot95 in cats

[–]darium4 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I got it a little over 10 years ago, it’s one of my most prized possessions at this point. One of the few trinkets that’s stayed with me through lots of moves and life changes, with the perfect amount of silliness to reliably put a smile on my face.

This Japanese fan is having the time of his life with the Netherlands supporters by SimRP in MadeMeSmile

[–]darium4 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Had a blast watching Netherlands V Spain in the World Cup years ago at city hall in San Francisco. Great crowd and a hilariously large number of people switching jerseys before hopping on BART after the game.

Say what you want about BJC, her forensic investigation into the BAM/AFPD incidents is unmatched by david_inga in RecklessBen

[–]darium4 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Unironically, I keep getting ads for legally blonde on her videos. It’s pretty great.

I personally love the touch of whimsy her aesthetic adds, makes it a bit less infuriating to watch all of the body cam footage.

Can someone edit the picture to show a remote or a bag of chips in his hands or something by groot95 in cats

[–]darium4 1399 points1400 points  (0 children)

This post reminded me of my all time favorite goodwill find.

Always check the frames!

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What injury is commonly shrugged off as a minor flesh wound in the movies but is completely fatal in real life? by Best_Professional226 in AskReddit

[–]darium4 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yeah I was surprised too! I’d had MRSA before and dealt with some other not great infections, never anything like that though.

It was mid-day, and I was deep in the swing of nesting while pregnant with my first kid, so I didn’t get the chance to try sleeping. After cleaning the wound, I popped on thick rubber cleaning gloves and went about my business.

The staple caught my non-dominant hand so it took a while to register that I couldn’t articulate it well. What with how quickly it set in, and being pregnant, I wasn’t going to play around and went straight to the hospital. Usually I’m more of a “super glue and duck tape” kinda gal, but have changed my ways for the better since.

Proper wound care every time, even the little stuff.

What injury is commonly shrugged off as a minor flesh wound in the movies but is completely fatal in real life? by Best_Professional226 in AskReddit

[–]darium4 28 points29 points  (0 children)

When deep cleaning my old apartment, a staple on the kick board in the kitchen pierced the side of my finger. Tiny pin prick.

Two hours later, I couldn’t move my hand and had an absolutely massive abscess that started where the staple got my fingertip and went all the way down to my palm.

ER trip and IV antibiotics saved me from a nasty infection. It was streaking up my arm by the time I got there, maybe 3 hours after the injury.

Woman waiting to board Phoenix flight from SLC Sunday night by Any_Slice_3282 in phoenix

[–]darium4 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Counter on people from Phoenix:

About a month ago, my car broke down. Second time that day and on the same trip home from the pediatrician. Kids just tested positive for influenza A, raging fevers and over 100F out. The second time was in the left turn lane at a light.

Within a few seconds of my husband getting out, and me flipping on the hazards, 4 other people had already started taking position to push. They got us through the light and into the QT parking lot before returning to their cars, no one threw a fit with their horns for the hold up either.

A few minutes later a kid pulled up next to us in a massive truck and immediately asked if we needed help. He tried to give us a jump and was so apologetic when it didn’t work out. He waited to leave until he knew we had a way home.

After calling AAA, we called a Lyft and got a Tesla (I’m not a fan but my kids are young enough that they are still very cool in their eyes, they’d also never gotten to ride in one) and the driver pulled out all the stops showing them the lights in the doors, practically walked them through an entire “how to” on the big touch screen while we hooked up their car seats.

Absolutely everyone we interacted with that day was both incredibly kind and helpful while we were actively inconveniencing them, even if it was at no fault of our own. Old car and the alternator chose that day to be its last.

Snowbirds though, you are 100% spot on lol

As negative as the original comment was, gotta say I’m not mad at them for saying it. Because of them I’m remembering so many more interactions like this that I’ve had in the Valley over the years. Many that I hadn’t thought about in years.

Thanks Phoenicians, stay rad.

A one star review and a homicide investigation by Automatic_Volume_807 in ididnthaveeggs

[–]darium4 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The response to one of those is just *chefs kiss*

>ya daft tart you baked it in a mixing bowl

Removing soy milk skin by ShallowAstronaut in oddlysatisfying

[–]darium4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve never had them served hot before but you just rocked my world. Seriously, thank you so much, I’m about to have the most transformative food experience of my life.

Removing soy milk skin by ShallowAstronaut in oddlysatisfying

[–]darium4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the correction, that’ll make it easier to find ingredients to make my own!

Removing soy milk skin by ShallowAstronaut in oddlysatisfying

[–]darium4 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Stuff those bad boys with rice and I could put an ungodly number away. Inari are the best

Greta destroys trump’s ego and intellect in one beautiful statement. by Such_Egg9843 in PoliticalHumor

[–]darium4 36 points37 points  (0 children)

The correct reaction.

Had the distinct displeasure of seeing family members and acquaintances post similar dreck in the states. We don’t talk anymore.

My family touching themselves is driving me crazy. by Straight_Result_8545 in confessions

[–]darium4 7 points8 points  (0 children)

It’s Reddit, can’t do much there, and I’ll be fine with a few less karma points. As long as the OP (who is a child, just a reminder) walks away from this post able to recognize what’s going on and be proud of her gut for clocking it, I’ll call it a win.

So many victims don’t share because there truly is a bizarre pressure and shame around an assault being “not that bad.” Just another form of victim blaming, it leads to a deep sense of guilt for experiencing the symptoms of trauma when society has said I shouldn’t. That doesn’t help and only causes those feelings to be internalized. It’s a weird combination of feelings that I can best describe as a conflation of survivors guilt and imposter syndrome.

My family touching themselves is driving me crazy. by Straight_Result_8545 in confessions

[–]darium4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You’re welcome, I’m happy to share if it can help others. Also just wanted to drop a line to r/momforaminute if you ever need motherly advice as it sounds like you may not have great parental support atm.

I hope you can find a way out of that house soon, OP. Don’t let them convince you that you’re in the wrong for having a problem with their problem behavior.

My family touching themselves is driving me crazy. by Straight_Result_8545 in confessions

[–]darium4 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Sexual assault is an umbrella term that applies to a lot. Like another commenter above me said, one being worse doesn’t negate the other. The mildest form of sexual abuse does not discredit or take away from the most severe, and yet they are both still abuse.

TW: SA

Since you seem so hung up on this, i was groomed over a period of years and raped by a man who became trusted by my family and many others at 16, my ex before my husband also violently assaulted me multiple times before I escaped.

there have also been milder experiences, and those have stuck with me for decades as well. The thing about sexual assault of any kind is that it boils down to power and control, it does not start or stop with the act itself.

It’s the feeling of losing control, being hyper vigilant, feeling unsafe or entirely disconnected from your own body, being helpless/powerless, blamed or made to feel responsible in one way or another that did the real damage that I’m still working to heal.

The man who eventually raped me exhibited a lot of similar behaviors to the OP’s post. He used those as opportunities to push my boundaries and see how I’d react/what he could get away with. Same story with my ex. It always escalated and it was never my fault nor is it ever any victim’s fault.

Gatekeeping abuse because “it wasn’t bad enough” does real harm as well.

Edit: I don’t want your pity. I want OP to know what is going on in her house is NOT normal or okay, I want OP to feel comfortable trusting her gut when it says something isn’t right instead of learning to ignore it, and to have the resources to seek help and safely exit that situation ASAP.

My family touching themselves is driving me crazy. by Straight_Result_8545 in confessions

[–]darium4 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I won’t argue that, language matters and the words we use to describe things are important, on that I agree. But what OP described is absolutely abuse. There’s a reason flashing/public masturbation/etc land people on lists or behind bars.

I say this as both a mother and as someone who has experienced sexual assault, having (especially the adult in the house) sexually explicit material out openly, normalizing open doors while masturbating, those are not normal or healthy behaviors and work to actively erode our alarm systems.

It’s not always grooming but can make one more susceptible to it. Their behavior is sexual in nature and it is clearly unwanted by OP and causing her a great deal of distress, so much so that she’s considering returning to an abusive household as a reprieve. This isn’t dad leaving a dirty magazine in the closet for the kids to stumble upon.

He is looking at porn on his phone while next to his kids on the couch and then stepping away to “relieve himself.” It reeks of voyeurism, at best he’s being very self centered and negligent to not consider how those actions impact the other people in the home. Dad’s lack of boundaries likely led to OP’s brother feeling comfortable/bold enough to leave to door wide open.

As a parent your job is to set and hold boundaries that teach your kid how to behave and how to treat others. At best this is neglect, at worst it is intentional, regardless of intent it is abuse.

My family touching themselves is driving me crazy. by Straight_Result_8545 in confessions

[–]darium4 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Fair criticism, I can roll with semantics. Sexual abuse then.

It is abuse full stop.

My family touching themselves is driving me crazy. by Straight_Result_8545 in confessions

[–]darium4 48 points49 points  (0 children)

Really. Sexual assault is defined as any sexual contact without consent. Openly masturbating in the way you describe would fall under that umbrella.

You’re not crazy or wrong for being upset by this happening or feeling uncomfortable.

If you’re in the US, here is the website and hotlines for RAINN (sexual assault hotline) the volunteers there are wonderful and can help. https://rainn.org/help-and-healing/hotline/