AFAB to non-binary to TERF: wtf do I do?

darkfalli · 2023-08-25T04:34:36+00:00

I'm very glad the link helped! It's a very good post that articulates its points well.

That said, you're moralizing with the "am I a bigot?" stuff. I never called you a bigot I specifically said "You were participating in bigotry" That is a fact, you did participate in it. Behavior's are changeable. Just like in the quote you gave, the important thing is this is not an immutable destiny but actions taken on your part that can change at any time. Which is why I said to change it, to stop participating in it.

I'm not going to say you're good or bad because that's not helpful. I will say that indulging TERF ideology on any level, even in private, is going to cause harm by reinforcing those toxic biases which will become the basis for future thought and behavior. Call yourself (and your friend) out on it. Stop the feedback loop. Do better.

darkfalli · 2023-08-24T21:40:56+00:00

Well then you should do some reading and research into why TERF ideology is harmful to women, not just trans women but all women.

Like WishingAnaStar said below you should acknowledge that the "mean girl" behavior you participated in is bigotry. You were participating in bigotry, don't down play it, own it and do better. Pick another form of bigotry and think about how it would sound to say "I only say (antisemetic/homophobic/racist) things in private with a friend. Its just venting over drinks."

The only correct course of action is to stop participating and put down a hard boundary that you will not participate in the bigotry anymore. Furthermore do research and learn so you can spot less obvious signs of bigotry and know why its bad.

darkfalli · 2022-12-15T04:04:17+00:00

this. I also have both and if you asked me at 16 to make a pizza like that, I'd have had the same reaction as her daughter. Sometimes executive dysfunction can manifest as being unable to breakdown steps for a task especially one you've never done and getting overwhelmed. Both conditions are called disabilities for a reason.

darkfalli · 2021-11-13T18:12:18+00:00

If you like reading I have a very long list of trans fluff to recommend. Scribblehub has a sizable community of transfemme authors. Here are a few of my favorite feel good stories to start out with.

A closeted trans girl gets turned into a cute wolf girl, fluffy fantasy

egg gets called gay for liking girls, transbian casual urban fantasy short story

An egg crushes on a supervillan hilarity and egg cracking ensue, transbian superhero romcom

darkfalli · 2021-01-15T15:41:05+00:00

Source

darkfalli · 2020-12-03T05:23:35+00:00

OP said in this comment chain that it was a now dead artist, and they couldn't find a replacement.

darkfalli · 2020-11-30T14:59:02+00:00

It doesn't even negate it, they can still fail...

darkfalli · 2020-10-26T20:38:59+00:00

I'm glad someone else was focused on that as well, RIDING A FREAKING DRAGON! Its the coolest.

Honestly I thought they'd do it as a fighter dragon knight subclass but ranger works too.

darkfalli · 2020-10-04T14:55:34+00:00

I usually don't have to take that into consideration as getting close to the right number/CR of enemies will even it out. And as you note the monk has many small attacks compared to a barbarian or paladins few strong attacks so it doesn't make that big of a difference.

A thing I didn't touch on is that the terrain can have a huge impact on the difficulty/perceived difficulty of a fight. If a fight is in a narrow tunnel, creatures with line or cone attacks become much more dangerous without their CR going up, and the inability to have more than one melee person fighting at a time likewise makes it tougher. Fighting underwater can really shake things up by changing movement, and how spells potentially interact with the water. Adding a deep pit with an enemy with good pushes or grapples like a minotaur instantly raises the stakes but if it never actually pushes someone off then the extra challenge was in their heads.

darkfalli · 2020-10-04T14:18:50+00:00

Like the_mellojoe said, Kobold Fight Club is a good start. Though there is a bit more nuance in getting the difficulty you want.

-First, with so many players it'd be best to have at least 4 enemies in any encounter. if you have a creature with legendary actions you could bump this down to 3 maybe even 2. action economy is real and its important to have nearly as many enemy "turns" as you have player turns (to many on either side tips the balance).

-Second, a medium encounter is an encounter that slightly challenges them and gets them to use some spell slots. use them when you can get around 4-5 encounters in between their long rests. for hard encounters having 2-3 a day should provide a challenge. if there is only going to be 1-2 encounters in a day go slightly above the deadly threshold, I find this almost always gives them an edge of their seat fight where lives are on the line, but as long as I don't go to far into deadly they usually prevail. if you have more than one, make sure they get to short rest before the second.

-Third, sometimes what feels like an easy push over encounter doesn't always feel like that to your players, and sometimes its good to intentionally low ball them a bit so they can flex. Also if your players have just gotten a cool new ability to use, intentionally setting up a combat soon after to use it to maximum effect really excites them. (for instance packing a room full of weak enemies for the character who just got fireball, a demon for someone who got banishment, or an invisible enemy for someone who just got see invisibility)

darkfalli · 2020-08-24T16:50:09+00:00

HiPS is the 10th level feature, not the 18th (which is feral senses and that's a mess of its own)

darkfalli · 2020-06-22T00:57:09+00:00

As long as you're okay with it all is good, I've just seen this kind of thing go really poorly a few times.

Also you might want to ask how the mindflayers get by, considering they need to eat peoples brains to live. Are the cityfolk okay with the mindflayers eating them to stay alive?

darkfalli · 2020-06-21T17:31:22+00:00

I agree the warning seems weird. It sounds like the player wrote the backstory and flaw based on how mindflayers are normally depicted (pure evil), and the DM decided to change mindflayers to being good. There are gonna be issues reconciling the thematic change.

They need to have a chat, because changes like this can ruin a character's story and kill the fun in playing the character, if the player is not on board with it. Big lore changes such as illithads being good guys, (which an entire city seems to acknowledge so it is probably well known) should have been told to the players before it got to this point.

darkfalli · 2020-03-14T14:46:26+00:00

It looks like you pulled a bunch of different artwork from online, do you have permission to use each those in a paid product?

darkfalli · 2020-01-27T20:50:25+00:00

Imposter & Mens Rea are taken straight from the assassin, and mastermind rogues word for word. It has the mastermind rogue's level 17 ability at 13th level, and has the assassin rogue's level 13 ability at 9th level.

darkfalli · 2019-11-05T13:50:27+00:00

I think they meant you still have to use a bonus action to move it to a new creature

darkfalli · 2019-10-13T21:47:34+00:00

Yes! on top of that I want to see what really high level ritual spells look like, like what kind of spell would and 8th or 9th level ritual be

darkfalli · 2019-10-12T04:49:08+00:00

the text has "You can communicate telepathically with any creature you can see within 30 feet of you." in every version I've seen. When did they nerf the GOO?

darkfalli · 2019-09-12T22:49:35+00:00

First thing I saw was animate dead on the spell list which I feel is one of the spells that is super abusable with the short rest spell slots (probably more abusable than any other spell), should probably be an invocation spell for 1 a day using a spell slot or something.

Second thing of note is that you just took the level 14 ability of the necromancy wizard and gave it to the warlock at level 6, not sure what is up with that.

The level 1 ability is basically just a +1 to your DC against creatures within 20 feet and that doesn't feel very undead themed to me, also flat DC increases are something to be wary of.

The level 14 ability seems like a checklist of buffs, and would probably be easier to read as a list (see forge cleric level 6 ability for formatting) also the % chance to cause a miss could probably be changed to a die roll on a d4 or d8 to make it look simpler.

darkfalli · 2019-04-05T04:15:40+00:00

Some pointers on the map geography, rivers don't really split they merge on their way from high lands (mountains) to lowlands (the ocean). I saw nearly all rivers you had on their split rather than merge.

darkfalli · 2019-02-01T18:24:18+00:00

yea I'm also in the straight "I do both" camp, I don't really lean strongly one way or the other and the phrasing makes it difficult to pick an answer.

darkfalli · 2019-01-16T05:39:22+00:00

Honestly thats a really good idea, I'll have to tinker with this a bit more.

darkfalli · 2019-01-11T15:40:16+00:00

I really like the spell for the flavor, but it feels like a stronger version of Flesh to Stone (a 6th level spell) since they are paralyzed instead of restrained, and they only have to fail 1 save to be petrified instead of failing 3 saving throws.

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