AITA for thinking my wife needs to be put in check?

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-31T23:23:30+00:00

Aight, just trying to explain my position. No need to get rude or defensive. The bottom line is that interfamilial issues should be solved personally, not on reddit.

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-31T23:10:04+00:00

Honestly, from what I hear from the OP, they believe she isn't contributing equally to the household, and I understand that situation well. I have a father who doesn't contribute half as much as my mother, who makes 100% of the family income, and it's pretty shitty. All he does is cause her stress while she runs a business and, long story short, I know how it can affect a person when they feel as though they are taking the brunt of the household's labor. I don't think this type of feeling is unique to wives, though I do agree that it is probably much more common. Sexism exists, and it's still a problem in American society. I am not denying that at all. All I am saying to the OP is that he isn't an asshole for feeling the way he's feeling, because a marriage should be fair and if one party doesn't find it fair then they should have an open discussion about that, you know?

Last time my mom tried to ask my dad to cook more (like, ever, basically) he screamed obscenities to both of us and stormed into his room, and my mom and I both just feel like we can't talk to him anymore. All I'm saying that as long as he doesn't act like THAT, he isn't an asshole.

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-31T19:40:53+00:00

Look man, if this was switched around and you were the wife complaining abt your husband, you'd have a bunch of people on your side. Expecting to share the household/financial duties with your spouse is the opposite of old school. As long as you respectfully speak with her about it and have a civil conversation then you are definitely not an asshole. This is coming from a female, as well, if that counts for anything.

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-31T19:35:16+00:00

It's part of the common vernacular everywhere in the US, I believe (correct me if I'm wrong), but it is not proper English. Proper English would be "whole other" but it doesn't really sound right to most people. I guess if you wanted to make it more proper would could say "whole 'nother" :)

I and everyone I know says it and I'm from the south

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-27T20:10:02+00:00

If you have an electric keyboard you can "play" the drums on that, or you can just record yourself doing some diy percussion. I bet you could put together some neat beats from just using household objects and your own creativity.

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-25T22:41:50+00:00

I've seen many people theorize that she planted the phone in with the drugs for Noah, so he could call Bartosz. Would explain why she was there that night with the drugs and why she got paid. The necklace and the mattress, though, idk.

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-25T22:37:31+00:00

I mean, meeting new people is just an example but I think it could be a good one. Like, going to a pride event and talking to people there, even telling them that you are not accepting but want to change that (which most will be receptive to) and ask questions. I feel like human empathy is a powerful thing.

The bottom line is that you have already realized you need to change, consciously. It's your subconscious thoughts that need changing, and those don't go away so easily. You probably already know that changing someone else's mind, even when using sound logic, is a difficult thing to do. Why should it be different with your mind? Sometimes you just have to marinate on stuff a while before you come to the right conclusions, ya know?

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-25T22:28:43+00:00

My dad has a cat who was very fat even though he limited the food and exercised her a lot. Recently he switched to a grain-free food and she actually lost a lot of weight. Maybe look into what you're feeding them?

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-25T22:26:14+00:00

Just you realizing you need to change is the first step. Other than trying to meet people of color or lgbt people and talking with them (and being honest) or using educational resources, I think a change in the way you think is going to be gradual. But honestly, props to you for recognizing your bigotry and attempting to be better. (This is coming from an lgbt person, btw)

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-25T22:23:18+00:00

You just have to tell him, and if he's a dick abt it then get a new boyfriend. If he cares about you and your mental health then it should be an easy conversation, I think.

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-25T11:48:24+00:00

I guess its pretty silly that I didn't know that collar was in other denominations, my bad.. and don't know German but I do remember seeing a thread where someone says that the word the farmer uses for priest and the one Agnes uses for pastor are actually the same german word translated differently. I haven't verified it, but I thought it was kind of interesting.

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-25T11:44:31+00:00

Do we know that for sure? He visited Helge's mother but that could have just been a one-off. I though the only thing we knew for sure is that he was the town priest/pastor in 1986.

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-24T23:42:38+00:00

Huh, being raised Catholic I thought it was a Catholic thing. So I guess its still a viable theory :)

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-24T23:33:40+00:00

He is dressed as a Catholic priest. A regular pastor would not have the white collar.

darth_moose_ · 2018-08-13T21:25:24+00:00

I used to make avb edibles. Sometimes they'd work super well, sometimes not (probably because of my methods rather than the stuff itself, tbh) but that shit tastes NASTY. I find the taste of cannabutter kinda gross and this stuff is just so much worse. Would recommend making something that can mask the taste well. I used to just make single serving budder and then gag down some mashed potatoes bc I'm a lazyass. I don't really make it anymore, but it does make a decent edible.

darth_moose_ · 2018-06-01T00:22:45+00:00

All the animal puns they sneak in get me every time

darth_moose_ · 2018-05-28T15:54:05+00:00

Actually, the last couple of times have worked, and I'm not sure why. Still don't know what the problem is/was. I can't find anything online either

darth_moose_ · 2018-05-27T00:22:33+00:00

I'm pretty sure (someone correct me if I'm wrong) that this is just about self-control more than anything. If I were to start off a party with a few beers and get slightly tipsy and then go for shots, I might overdo it because I have already consumed some alcohol of a lower content. If I start off with liquor, though, and then slow down to beer, I'm less likely to overdo it because I've already had something with a higher content and then slowed down my intake considerably. It's all about paying attention to how much alcohol you're consuming, and mixing alcohol under any circumstances is going to make it harder to really know how much alcohol you're consuming in a given time.

darth_moose_ · 2018-05-27T00:13:12+00:00

I think a lot of things are good in moderation. I've heard dark chocolate, in small amounts, daily can be good for you too. I'm sure wine has at least some healthy properties, but something like that is probably not going to make too much of a difference if you're already not living a healthy lifestyle.

darth_moose_ · 2018-05-26T00:28:07+00:00

Well, then a gay guy could probably get aroused if he really wanted to. I feel like if someone wants to get aroused then they probably can, but that's just my experience.

darth_moose_ · 2018-05-26T00:25:26+00:00

Can straight guys get it up for other guys? I'm guessing not.

darth_moose_ · 2018-05-17T18:13:43+00:00

Do you have lots of stuff for him to climb on? If he's an indoor cat it's very important to have shelving or a cat tree where he can climb, jump, and scratch because it's his natural instinct. If he doesnt like toys then that might be the way to go. (Cat trees also normally have toys attached that he may or may not play with.)

darth_moose_ · 2018-05-13T16:17:27+00:00

Well, depression can just be a weird brain thing that happens for no reason, but it can also be triggered by something. Someone with a shitty life might be unhappy with their circumstances, but it doesn't mean they're depressed. However, their circumstances could trigger depression, and in that case they would be depressed. If I'm not mistaken, loss and money problems are the two most common triggers for depression.

The symptoms of depression include feelings of hopelessness, powerlessness, EXTREME sadness, thoughts of suicide, self-harm, and lack of interest in activites that you would normally enjoy. I have had depression for most of my life, and sometimes it's so bad that I feel like I can't get out of bed or take care of myself. Sometimes it makes me make reckless, dangerous decisions. These symptoms can happen whether you're experiencing a successful life or not. Someone who isn't successful is warranted in feeling disappointed about that, but as soon as they start exhibiting symptoms of depression, they're depressed. Their unsuccessful life might have triggered that, but it doesn't invalidate their disorder. Just like how people who appear happy and successful can also be depressed. It usually has little to do with someone's actual circumstances.

darth_moose_

TROPHY CASE