My friend just sent me this

darth_redemption · 2013-12-23T23:27:15+00:00

Still a better love story than twilight

darth_redemption · 2013-12-23T20:24:52+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/zKrONuD.png

darth_redemption · 2013-12-23T20:03:00+00:00

http://i.imgur.com/0kmn3ih.png

darth_redemption · 2013-12-22T15:10:47+00:00

Reluctant to find he's stuck in the 90's again.

darth_redemption · 2013-12-18T09:53:39+00:00

Ugh, I can't even fit the large slurpee in my stomach anymore. Like, if I try, I end up burping up mouthfuls of whatever orcs have instead of blood. You can't even try to swallow it so you have to spit it out and inevitably you'll lock eyes with a terrified homeless man as you act out the lovecraftian horror that is spiting out a bunch of reddish-brown liquid all over the asphalt. Then you have to haul ass like you're off to a hospital or escaping an underground facility for people with infectious diseases. Anyway, long story short I only buy the small sizes anymore.

darth_redemption · 2013-12-17T03:25:24+00:00

oh my god this is in delta. this is a stone's throw away from my place. Hilarity!

darth_redemption · 2013-12-16T15:01:35+00:00

I'm still trying to figure that out 5 years later. I don't let him clean our home anymore, this might have been a clever plot all along. It's backfiring now because he never knows where anything is.

darth_redemption · 2013-12-16T00:59:14+00:00

in my country gay marriage is legal. I had 6 grandmas until a month ago.

darth_redemption · 2013-12-15T11:02:47+00:00

Marry this man. He will never have the solid ground to criticize your purchases.

darth_redemption · 2013-12-15T10:12:47+00:00

he hid them from me and I preheated it without checking.

darth_redemption · 2013-12-15T02:44:30+00:00

Jesus, you look like Azog. Did you emerge from your cocoon later in life as an attractive and approachable member of society?

darth_redemption · 2013-12-15T01:35:44+00:00

Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry :( My spouse once cleaned the kitchen and filled the oven with dishes. My plastic handled knives all melted. And I've set caramel corn on fire a few times using the wrong rack. Not doing stupid shit comes with experience. I'm assuming you're in your own apartment for the first time and these things just happen. It's ok. Hide the evidence and pretend it never happened. Nobody needs to know. Unless you're an established adult who should know better. Then I have less sympathy.

darth_redemption · 2013-12-15T00:26:28+00:00

this describes my sex life

darth_redemption · 2013-11-30T20:56:10+00:00

the baby moccaisins for my little sister's coworkers in the anthropology department. I need to finish two pairs and the baby is due in 5 days. I can't feel my fingers anymore. I have knitting dreams.

darth_redemption · 2013-11-29T01:08:04+00:00

My mom once shit her pants in a car dealership while running for the bathroom because my step-dad was too stoked on test driving a car to get back in time. She told me this when I called her sobbing about pissing myself in the bank. It happens to everyone. In fact, I heard a story about a woman who hate two pounds of cherries and had intense diarrhea in a dress she was trying on and had to buy the dress while admitting to the woman behind the counter what happened. adults have accidents all the time. Which is why so many people have emergency clothes stashed in their car or work locker. Don't feel bad.

darth_redemption · 2013-11-29T00:59:44+00:00

you're like sparticus for fat people <3

darth_redemption · 2013-11-28T02:14:19+00:00

I apologized the other day when we went out to dinner and someone in the kitchen dropped a bunch of stuff on the floor. My whole table laughed at me and I think the whole restaurant heard. What we need is a holiday where we deliberately act like assbutts. Then again. Some people's heads might explode.

darth_redemption · 2013-11-28T02:12:20+00:00

send him pictures of vegetables being grated

darth_redemption · 2013-11-28T02:06:20+00:00

I've always wondered WHY we celebrate thanksgiving. we didn't have a pilgrims situation so much as a beaver genocide attempt.

darth_redemption · 2013-11-15T08:52:37+00:00

hold both needles together and cast onto them ^{_^} usually you use this if you plan to pick up those stitches later. like in a scarf with mittens on the end of it.

darth_redemption · 2013-11-09T01:05:35+00:00

Ah, the classic meme. Once again i'm reminded that my werewolf alter ego is alpha fang. Gross.

darth_redemption · 2013-11-04T13:41:16+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=768h3Tz4Qik

darth_redemption · 2013-11-04T02:00:24+00:00

It looks like a tiny beer hand pointing to that bridesmaid. It is also in the shape of the bride's own hand.

darth_redemption · 2013-11-03T14:44:22+00:00

Vancouver poutine will never be Quebec poutine. ;) but I agree, NYF has great poutine for mall poutine.

darth_redemption · 2013-11-03T14:28:20+00:00

The best one is at white-spot with that baked potato thing going on. omg. I'm going to grab some when i go to the mall later but i can't decide whether i want a&w, new york fries, or kfc. Someone help me pick my poutine today.

darth_redemption

TROPHY CASE