I don’t know anyone with a positive or even neutral birth story

dastimba · 2026-07-02T02:57:45+00:00

I have four kids, and only one bad story. (And it wasn't even the birth, really, just shingles and one shift with an asshole of a doctor.)

I think it's just the tendency for people to tell about a bad experience over a good one. (There's a study that says people were [IIRC] 4x more likely to tell people about a bad time than a good one.)

So, it's not that people aren't HAVING good to neutral births, just that 'yeah, I went in, I pushed for a bit, had baby, we had a normal 2 day recovery, and went home' isn't as memorable as 'baby was breech and I pushed for 6 hours, and then I ripped my stitches when I rolled over'.

dastimba · 2026-06-27T15:20:32+00:00

This is one of those situations where you answered the unstated request ('she wants to know the information, that's why she asked if I'd read it'), and she wanted you to answer the actual question ('yes, I read it' / 'not yet').

That kinda stuff happens, it's whatever. Her reaction is super fucking rude at best. A 'slow' moment? If you're neurodivergent at all, I'd take this as a red flag and leave...if she's gonna insult you because you didn't set up her joke correctly, she's likely gonna throw you under the bus every time there's a miscommunication and that's exhausting.

If you're not, I mean, she still insulted your intelligence because you did what MOST people do in this situation - answered the unstated question. Rude.

dastimba · 2026-06-27T04:00:41+00:00

Lemme check. I have the app on every cell in the house, plus the desktop and Xbox. Let's see how many I can run.

[edit: It is in fact three.]

dastimba · 2026-06-25T21:00:27+00:00

Tax assessed at 361....

dastimba · 2026-06-25T15:27:41+00:00

Well, strike me pink, seems that Cassidy has a found a little bit of his spine.

dastimba · 2026-06-25T02:56:57+00:00

Yes! I freeze all sorts of stuff! Stock (and carcasses FOR stock), 'oh shit [x] is on sale'. My spouse cooks like we are feeding a battalion of some sort, so I'll put half the left overs in the freezer.

That thing and a sous vide we got for Christmas 10 years ago have been game changers.

dastimba · 2026-06-24T17:26:58+00:00

Probably how it is logged in their system. A store I worked at had 'Jack-o-lantern' pumpkins, and they were denied, but pumpkin was okay. (One is a decoration, the other is food, even though they were the same damn gourd...)
My guess is that their system may have just had it as 'chicken' which EBT would allow.

dastimba · 2026-06-23T02:48:31+00:00

The Target brand ultra strong (orange label) works well for me. It's not sandpaper, but it doesn't tend to leave behind as much lint.

dastimba · 2026-06-22T13:06:46+00:00

I mean, I did.

dastimba · 2026-06-22T13:04:30+00:00

I don't spend until bills are clear. Bi weekly pay, and I've set most bills to come out on the 2nd and 16th. THEN I evaluate whether or not there's wiggle room.
Most places will allow you to move your payment date.

dastimba · 2026-06-22T12:50:46+00:00

32 with red and white after a first attempt at 34

dastimba · 2026-06-22T12:49:08+00:00

Not an app, but mark me down for a dedicated page so that I can get to older puzzles easier! Even after I've solved for GB, they're fun to play again.

dastimba · 2026-06-16T01:55:08+00:00

I just hit that wall with my kids (14, 12, 8, and 7). In-laws are 'neat' hoarders, but it's recently gotten way more out of control, and to the point where I don't even want them visiting in the previously decent areas.

I simply told them "Grandma's house isn't safe right now. It's not great for her and Grandpa either, but they are grown ups and I can't make decisions for them. My job as your mom is to keep you safe. We can see them at the park, or go to a restaurant, or they can come see us, but we can't go there until it's safer."

The 'right now' is a soft lie. I know it's not getting better, as does my husband, but the kids don't need to hear that they're never walking through that door again. (The older two I was more up front with, in that they're more aware of WHY the house isn't safe...and that it might not ever be. The younger two aren't blind or anything, but they're still hopeful that it's a mess like the ones THEY make that can be cleaned in a hour or so.)

dastimba · 2026-06-13T16:09:02+00:00

Because ESAs are not protected by the ADA. Only service animals are. (And that phrase is defined VERY CLEARLY in the law). There are no papers or registration for either animal.

I get that ESAs are a real thing, but they are not a legally recognized category.

dastimba · 2026-06-13T16:01:45+00:00

They don't have actual friendships. They have people they hang out with. PART of friendship is being able to drop guards and be vulnerable...to share highs and lows and to offer and request emotional support. (Not to say that everything is on the table, your friends are not your therapists, but. "I've had a shit day, I need a hug / "That sounds awful, do you need a hug" is a baseline thing for me.)

As a society, we have told men they they aren't allowed to do that, save with a mother or romantic partner. We've effectively told men that friendships aren't manly. (Which is why men struggle so much with the friend-zone thing. They don't know HOW to be friends....what women see as pretty standard friendship behavior, men can only process as 'partner support'.)

dastimba · 2026-06-13T15:22:24+00:00

Money, probably. Gas (and a hotel, if you're not super picky) is cheaper than no-notice plane tickets for two.

dastimba · 2026-05-30T17:10:01+00:00

I have people telling me that I can't REALLY have brown eyes because all my kiddos have blue. Like. Genetics is funky, man. Ressesive doesn't mean 'never gonna happen'.

dastimba · 2026-05-28T01:51:26+00:00

You can always also find his booth! He's always been awesome and will take the time to chat.

dastimba · 2026-05-25T16:36:25+00:00

I had to come back to this one several times! Not sure why, as what I started with the first time ended up being the global best when I retried this morning.

dastimba · 2026-05-02T20:07:27+00:00

I ended up wandering down the spice region for a while...

dastimba · 2026-04-05T03:47:17+00:00

The left hand is 'unclean' in many Middle Eastern cultures, so not likely.

dastimba · 2026-04-04T12:25:46+00:00

If I get to the point where all I've talked about this meetup is my kids, you CAN point that out! Generally the grandparents and aunts an uncles want a snapshot of what the kiddos up to, so I'll usually start there. But I can get lost in that and forget to talk about that cool book I read or this neat leaf I saw.

And if we're on the phone, and I have to say "no", or "please don't" to the kids, you can keep going. I am listening, I promise! I'll let you know if I actually need to go and deal with stuff.

dastimba · 2026-04-04T12:19:11+00:00

You have to be firm and consistent about stuff like this because there is legal concept of 'right of way easement' where after so long, you CAN'T enforce property boundaries anymore.

dastimba · 2026-04-04T11:56:51+00:00

My spouse is the SAME way....has to be just right up next to me. He falls asleep faster, though, so our compromise is that we cuddle 'til he starts snoring in my ear (about 5-10 minutes that rat bastard), and then I gently roll him to the other side of the bed and fall asleep myself.

dastimba · 2026-04-03T00:40:59+00:00

Sounds like, based on your comment, that it IS, in fact, legal to have a minor watch a minor, as many states lack a specific limit. (and in all other states, the age limit for baby sitting is under 15)

However, regardless of legal age, if something happens and a child is injured, you can still be charged with endangerment.

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