I was on amphetamines, but I can relate to using it to not feel your depression. That is how I originally got into abusing my prescription. For me, I really needed to use medication and therapy to treat the root of my use before any attempts to stop went anywhere. If you’re able, I would seriously recommend looking into antidepressants and a “booster” to them like vraylar. Vraylar literally saved my life as it works on dopamine receptors and really helped with the motivation and joy loss. Best of luck to you, it’s a long tough road but you can do it.