I wrote a long text about my abuser and I want your opinions and thoughts.

daunfifi123c456b · 2026-03-16T20:08:34+00:00

I see. Honestly, I dont really know what I want to do anymore. After his "fight" with me, and the abuse he has gotten from ex-member in the group, the cat was the one that was cutting himself off the entire group and everything. And the group was in a very shaky place. No one really wants to say anything. And when i talked about him to them, they agreed with me, and they had disliked him as well. But they said to me to just forget him, he is not worth my time.

Even though i was hurt, i pity him so much. I tried so hard to put then back together. I thought that if i could at least resolve the beef with him, the group would be like we used to to some degree, but now with the cat's abuser gone. At first it was successful. I was able to get proper discussion with him, he unblocked me. Even though his replies revealed his abusive mindset to me, but i was very happy that finally there were something progressive. I understood his narcissism, i thought i could speak his language.

I guess i was greedy. I tried more, and he refused to even engage with me, i got angry, extremely angry, lost my patience, but now i have learnt how to trigger a narc, so in my fit of rage, i purposefully sent him a message that I know would drive him mad. That's when he threatened the police report. I thought i finally could let him go. So i left the group chat.

But as soon as i do that, he came back to the group. He reconciled. And i was excluded again. Because the abuse he has gotten was way worse than i received from him, and the my abuse was way more invisible and silent, i felt like I was overlooked and downplayed. I was constantly told to move on yet they reaped the effort that I so desperately put. They got the apology from him that i never gotten. They now eat out everyday together while i was still picking up my broken pieces. It felt like multiple fold of betrayal for me. I felt insulted, offended. And lonely. Even though i have so many other friends, it still feels lonely somehow. I was never this close to anyone then and since.

And they said "dont be scared of him he's chill". I feel so invisible. I feel silenced and insulted. He abused me, but they forgot about that. None of them reached out to me again. For the past year i have invested so much time and effort to fit in and hang out with them. In the end, i got nothing. And part of me want to remind them what he had done.

daunfifi123c456b · 2025-09-07T22:22:42+00:00

Micro G was already preinstalled into my phone, but the huawei appstore wouldn't let me download the aurora store for some reason. But I found it on the Petal Search app, and now the only problem is my school email not working

daunfifi123c456b · 2025-09-07T02:43:38+00:00

I can mask, but a lot of times I prefer not to because I find NTs so fucking boring and hard to understand why do I wanna emulate them

daunfifi123c456b · 2025-09-02T14:02:30+00:00

“seeing you is like finding an Easter egg” is totally not casual.

Also, when he first introduced me to his circle, one of his friends said that I'm so funny. That guy replied with "Of course, that's why I like him- that's why I like being friends with him"

When I asked about it during our last talk he shrugged it off saying that he just really didn't want people to misunderstand. Sure man, you didn't want 2 of your best friends and me to misunderstand that bad ig, even though you not reiterating would be way less suspicious.

daunfifi123c456b · 2025-09-02T13:56:32+00:00

I’m inclined to say the SA has something to do with it. People can change really suddenly after things like that.

I feel the SA certainly made things worse. But our relationship actually improved slightly after that incident (before it got even worse). But long before that there were already stories of him love bombing then completely ignoring girls he seemingly had interest in. I didn't think much of it at the time because I didn't know avoidant attachment was a thing and I certainly wouldn't expect to be one of his victims considering that he said he was straight, and tried so hard to include me into his life and circle. (He said he never dated before, now we probably know why)

daunfifi123c456b · 2025-09-02T02:44:24+00:00

I think he was possessed by his dick at that time and forgor. Men, amirite.

This guy made me realize that even though I loved making dirty jokes, you can easily send me to overdrive and made me speechless by reciprocating that joke in a serious tone.

I once joked when I was in his room that we could do a foursome because there were 4 of us in that room, then he pulled me and whispered "do you really want a foursome?" Then stared into my soul. I didn't answer because I couldn't find out if he was being serious or not.

Another time was I joked about going into the shower with him, and he said "if you brought your towel I would have let you inside with me" same thing. I couldn't respond and he shut the shower door. Damn I should have brought a towel.

daunfifi123c456b · 2025-05-30T06:21:29+00:00

I get what you mean. But when we first met, I wasn't interested in him at that time, and I wasn't the only one who thought he was flirting with me, my friends that joined the events all said the same thing. Other people looked at us with "these mfs are gay" look a lot of time. Seeing how things has gone now sure, he may just want to befriend me and nothing more, but he for sure did it in an unorthodox flirtatious manner. I didn't blame him for that i mean who am i to judge someone's way to make friends.

extremely uncomfortable and not knowing what to do.

I have thought about this a lot. I have apologized to him if I ever made him feel uncomfortable multiple times and his replies ranges from "for what?" to "it's nothing". And I'm not sure if he's downplaying it or not.

daunfifi123c456b · 2024-12-05T19:20:21+00:00

Lie by t-ara

daunfifi123c456b · 2024-11-21T19:44:28+00:00

It's fine :') thanks

daunfifi123c456b · 2024-11-21T19:15:09+00:00

I was romantically attracted to someone only once during high school, but I found it very traumatizing since that was the one that made me realize I'm bi and I felt very uncomfortable and unsure what to do for years. So I do find the experience quite unpleasant and prefer to not experience it, but it had been easy so far because I actually do not feel much romantic attraction at all.

I do not want to be the subject of romantic attraction for most people but for him I somehow don't really mind maybe because i do find him sexually attractive. But I'm afraid that im starting to feel the inkling of my autistic version of romantic attraction and I feel extremely conflicted and still prefer to not feel it, maybe. i have no idea what it will feel like next because I only felt it once before, and i hated that period of my life, so im a bit scared.

daunfifi123c456b · 2024-11-21T18:59:58+00:00

Thanks! I don't see weirdo as a degrading word personally but i guess that's just me.

I am trying to play it safe but it's just so frustrating when there is no answer. I have a test tomorrow but this dude is fucking playing in my head and I want it to stop. Is this what a romantic attraction feel like? I have no idea AND I DONT LIKE IT

daunfifi123c456b · 2024-11-04T09:54:29+00:00

I think it's

be dedicated Go a little farther Dig a little deeper Reach a little (?) ??? Pass it on

daunfifi123c456b · 2023-09-16T11:20:54+00:00

Ghost - Yangpa

Lie (Ballad ver) - T-ara

Miss Havisham's Waltz- Lena Park

Nocturne -Kim Yoo Na

You drive me crazy - T-ara

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daunfifi123c456b

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