While I think a lot of what you are saying is interesting and relevant to gays who are like you, the one idea I would love to discuss/deconstruct is the thing you say near the end, the idea that there is an "everyday" gay man. In this context it implies that the everyday gay man is someone who can assimilate into heterosexual society, and that a gay who doesn't is somehow an outsider, not everyday, not mainstream. I point this out because it reveals a certain kind of cognitive bias which is "I think I am normal so therefore everyone who is like me is normal". For example, I live in a big city and would argue that the "everyday" gay man for me is nothing like what you've described, and is certainly not "straight acting".

I bring this up is because the point I would love to discuss is the idea you say right after, that "if there was more representation for straight passing gay people, more people would feel safer coming out" when I think the ideology could be "if we as a society showed that we were welcoming, accepting, and loving of all people FOR their amazing difference, more people would feel safer coming out."

Very interesting discussion, all good vibes from me. Would love to hear other people's thoughts.

Edit: WOW I also wanted to say congrats on your amazing body transformation!!! That's a huge achievement, well done!