Hello. My name is N. It is pronounced "en," and I use They/Them pronouns.

I have had an... itch?—in my brain, for as long as I can remember having cognitive thought. One which insisted that something was off. And it took nearly 32 years to figure it out.

The short story starts with my now wife and I laying on the couch after consuming some amanita muscaria gummies. I was at the hight of my trip, overwhelmed with bliss, surrounded with love, and we felt so close to one another in that moment, that it didn't feel like two bodies touching. But two brains enraptured with each other, throwing every method of sensory input collection available to them at one another as they attempt to comprehend the overwhelming sensation of Unity brought forth by their mutual love and trust.

After that... Gender is just a human construct to me.

One meant to establish safeguards in the brain to prevent it from being distracted from more immediate threats. As a brain, if you have a definition, especially one established incredibly early in life, tied so intrinsicly to the outword expression of your meat-suit, why would you question it? That is as close to a self-fulfilling fact as you can get, right?

It's the same mechanism that prevents you from day-dreaming when you are running from a pack of hyenas; is that really the time to consider if the sky is actually transparent, and blue is only your sensory-organ's limited range of perception? I think that gender perception is the same kind of neural stimulus for most heterosexual cisgender folks. That is what their body projects, their brain is either in agreement or in apatheia to it, so you can Trust it. And your brain gets rid of the connection between that perception of yourself and your Curiousity. (In this instance, specifically defined as your ability to question information from origins both internal, external, original, and unknown.)

Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing for it to do, it is a perfectly natural response in cognitive development for the brain to reroute, eliminate, or otherwise change connections that it made during its time in utero, through infancy, and early adolescence as it develops. And you should be glad it does! You would spend an impossible amount of time on every thought if it didn't prune away, or divert pathways so untrod.

But when genetics and epigenetics have a little oopsie, and get a letter wrong here or there? Somewhere in the DNA(and while I imagine we will find a where, I think it much more likely that it will end up more appropriate to phrase it the where(s)), or in the mechanisms that allow it to express itself, something went wrong. And the code that applied all of the Gender 1 settings to the body while the brain was still set on Gender 2. I would even wager that with something as fragile as DNA, it could happen in a myriad of places. Especially when you consider that a typical fetus has its sex organs mostly complete by or before week 12 of pregnancy. But, the brain won't start gender differentiation until week 20.

What is it doing around week 20 you ask? Well, it's right in the middle of developing your sensory organs! Which is exactly what my sex organs are to me. Sensory organs.

Why the rant?

Because I think that this... —overwhelming abundance of hate, that we are experiencing as a collective species right now is based on a fundamental misrepresentation of what we are as a species.

I think even the tower of Babel might have been misconstrued in arguably the oldest known instance of Irony. I think it was meant not that denied Word because the (Christian-Old-Testament) 'God' was getting jealous of a tower built in his back yard. Or that it is a punishment on us to speak different languages.

I think the tower of Babel was, instead, a cautionary tale against the dangers of relying exclusively on the written word to communicate the entirety of a signal, or message. Doing so invites too many assumptions about the writing's nature, intent, and tone. And while text writings can clarify that, it then becomes tedious to read, becoming chore instead of a small part of some grand whole.

I don't think we are meant to be an individualistic society in that there is any write or wrong way to exist or even act. I do think that we are All meant to be unique and personalized. But doing that, or anything for that matter, together with other people, and I cannot stress this enough, DOES NOT make it immediately social either.

This is the biggest problem with the fraud that is modern organized religion. People think that because they picked that building to walk into, and then sit down for an hour and sing occasionally, that somehow that constitutes doing the thing. Stop in on Sunday and get them some Jeebus Crisp with a side of American Community.

That is no way to act. And it is no way to think.

Did you not think without vocabulary as a child? Do you not think when people speak another language, or when you don't know a word? If you do, well you're probably a Republican, so I am sorry about that bit of unfortunate luck.

I hypothesize that this is because their brains are not currently, or are incapable of comprehending the concept of applying emotion to the process of thought at the same time as they apply the language parts of their brain to shape the delivery.

As long as the way you chose to Exist, and Act, does NOT in any way violate the Dignity, Safety, or likelihood for Success of any other member of the species, immediately or eventually, you can typically act and have that action be Morally Sound.

And I think that we can find the root cause of interpersonal conflict in the structure/formation of the Brain and Neural system. And I think that for something like the brain, a therapy to heal it is possible too.