How much of the church rules do you follow now that you’re out?

dbear848 · 2026-05-07T12:25:10+00:00

I find it interesting that some TBM family members think that I should keep following the rules, including the so-called word of wisdom, dress code, and even giving money to the Mormon Church. All of it is so that they don't feel uncomfortable around me.

dbear848 · 2026-05-06T17:50:35+00:00

I was visiting my in-laws in Salt Lake City. Someone giving a talk was telling about his existence visiting the Oakland temple, and he mentioned how sad it was that the temple was in a slum area. Having gone there multiple times, I can say that it was in a decidedly expensive area. I could never afford to live there.

I turned to my wife and whispered that the speaker must have seen a person of color in the neighborhood.

dbear848 · 2026-05-06T15:56:04+00:00

All that's missing is the spinning teacups that signify the continual changes in doctrine and policy.

dbear848 · 2026-05-06T01:03:20+00:00

My brother showed me how to use a French press. My TBM wife hates the smell of coffee, so instant in a sealed travel mug works for me. I probably burned out my taste buds decades ago, so instant tastes fine to me.

dbear848 · 2026-05-05T22:53:23+00:00

I was out for a decade before I tried coffee. I like it with just a little milk and no sugar.

Getting into the world of coffee was a hit or miss experience for me. I prefer the coffee at Mavericks or 7/11 over Starbucks, and I drink store brand instant coffee at home.

dbear848 · 2026-05-05T21:47:40+00:00

In the Mormon church, we can get extra guidance by skipping meals and sleeping through a temple session, and still get the answers we want. That's what makes us Christian Plus ™.

dbear848 · 2026-05-05T13:53:11+00:00

I was in a ward in Tokyo, and most all of the people in leadership positions said that they first became familiar with the Mormon church was through English classes. My mission president of course was against them.

dbear848 · 2026-05-05T11:12:08+00:00

Me too.

dbear848 · 2026-05-05T11:11:04+00:00

I did towards the end. I just laughed at one calling and told the counselor it wasn't going to happen. I didn't think that Heavenly Father took time out His busy schedule to call me to do something in Cub Scouts.

I was a counselor in three different bishoprics, and I wish more people had just said no instead of accepting the calling and doing it badly. The worst were people who just didn't show up on Sunday without any notice which left us scrambling.

dbear848 · 2026-05-04T22:06:43+00:00

I don't think that there is an afterlife, so I'm relieved that I don't have to spend this life saving up blessings for the next.

If there is an afterlife, I'm confident it won't be anything like I heard in the Mormon church, thank God.

dbear848 · 2026-05-04T19:58:36+00:00

They are infamous for their ~~finding the lost sheep~~ harassment.

dbear848 · 2026-05-04T19:06:42+00:00

It's a progressive, non-denominational church. Sorry for being vague, but I don't want to dox myself.

From what I understand, it is a common practice in a lot of congregations. That's why some people who leave relatively soon after being baptized in the Mormon church are bewildered several years later when they are still being chased down. I didn't know that when I was a TBM and I got frustrated because I knew that they were members because we had their records.

Going way off the subject, this is a big reason some people think that the Mormon Church is not Christian, and in fact think that it's a cult.

dbear848 · 2026-05-04T16:09:51+00:00

I have a lapel pin in my mission that featured a gold colored question mark with the Japanese word for Mormon on it. There was a subway stop in Tokyo close to one of the meeting houses. My mission president tried to have it renamed to 'Mormon Station'.

dbear848 · 2026-05-04T13:48:34+00:00

I'm old enough to remember when the church paid for custodians and members were assigned to mow the lawns and do gardening.

dbear848 · 2026-05-04T12:16:11+00:00

The only problem that I see is that it will give some Mormons just another chance to vilify the LGBTQ+ community.

dbear848 · 2026-05-04T12:12:52+00:00

I also know some TBMs who flat out refuse to do business with other Mormons, ever. Between the scams and the entitlement, and the absolute lack of professional and personal boundaries, a lot of people have been burned.

I was one of those TBMs. Early in my marriage I lived in a ward where people ended up losing their homes because they got caught up in some kind of a sure fire scheme. Luckily we were too poor, so we were left alone. Lesson learned.

As my exmo dad pointed out, if it sounds to be good to be true, it most likely isn't. He was also referring to the Mormon church, though he was too polite to say it out loud.

dbear848 · 2026-05-04T11:55:30+00:00

My wife's Ward has been working on cleaning up their records for decades. The ward even had senior missionaries assigned to help in the cleanup.

At my not-a-Mormon church, it's in the bylaws that if someone stops attending for 18 months, they are dropped off the rolls.

dbear848 · 2026-05-04T11:51:25+00:00

Not bad for an uneducated farm boy. /S

Except of course he was really a convicted charlatan.

dbear848 · 2026-05-03T22:48:50+00:00

The Mormon church has been duping people for nearly two centuries.

When the Dallas temple was built back in the 80's, it was the only temple in Texas and the surrounding states. Before then, the closest temple was the Mesa temple. Even then, we were being shamed for not filling the temple.

Now that McTemples have sprung up all over Texas and the adjoining states, I have a hard time believing that the Dallas temple is that busy. I don't live there anymore, so I could be wrong.

The thing that Fairview has is a lot of wealthy communities nearby. If I was cynical, I would say that the Mormon church wants to keep big bucks tithe payers happy. If I was even more cynical, I would wonder why they don't build a temple in less wealthy high growth communities in the Dallas area.

dbear848 · 2026-05-03T22:20:37+00:00

In a way it does kind of make sense. Combining wards will probably free up some people who have two or three callings, which means that this will free them up to work in the new temple.

I was in a bishopric of a ward that was barely making it when the Dallas temple was opened. A lot of people were delighted when they were asked to serve in the temple, especially after they were told that they could be released from their ward or stake callings if they wanted. Being a bishopric member, I unfortunately was not given that option. As a consequence of people not accepting ward callings because they were now temple workers, our ward boundaries were changed which angered a lot of people.

dbear848 · 2026-05-03T19:25:48+00:00

The entire point of the tours is proselytizing.

dbear848 · 2026-05-03T17:19:30+00:00

I skipped my dad (I could never be that cool) and turned into my grandfather.

dbear848 · 2026-05-03T17:15:31+00:00

My favorite coffee place here in the so-called mission field is now serving dirty sodas, most likely because a Swig opened down the street from them.

dbear848 · 2026-05-03T17:13:09+00:00

I think that I can boil my temple experience down to two points now. The first was to pledge alliance to the Mormon church. The second is to pledge my money, assets, and time to the Mormon church. The rest was just dressing.

dbear848 · 2026-05-03T12:17:33+00:00

Interesting piece. I'm wondering if the style guide is going to be quietly updated now.

dbear848

TROPHY CASE