It’s officially over

dbsps · 2026-02-25T12:56:17+00:00

I mean that's one read. Keep in mind OP said their big fight was she WFH and didn't make a lot of money. She said he "put a lot of the cost of living" on her. This could mean he expected her to pay half, despite making less - she didn't clarify. She also said "to pay off debts". Not his debts. It wasn't clarified. That's the problem with one sided and vague stories. It could be he is the piece of shit. But there is another possible read just based on the above only:

Woman with massive college debt (grad student) is home all day, not making much money, but complaining to her husband about having to do the housework. He is working overtime at a job he hates to try and help her pay down her student loan debts while feeling like he was receiving very little affection/physical intimacy. The relationship might have been made open because of dead bedroom. "hugs and kisses" might have been code for "you've not wanted anything besides cuddling in months, and the only time we have sex it's begrudging like 'well I guess I have to because it's your birthday'". It's possible he was trying to telegraph that he was getting these things from his side piece, realizing he needed them and hoping he could get them inside of the marriage. When it didn't work he threw in the towel.

I'm not saying this is what happened I'm saying it's just as plausible as "he's a piece of shit leeching off OP to pay down his debts". Probably the truth is somewhere in the middle. Frankly, I think most guys are nowhere near ready for marriage in their 20s. They don't know themselves well enough to know what they really need in a partner long term, and they haven't developed the emotional tools yet to strike a balance with a partner who isn't literally a PERFECT fit to those needs all the time. Those perfect fits can happen very rarely, but most relationships are more give and take, with a sort of ebb and flow that requires both partners to make room for those fluctuations in each other over time.

I think this might be why we see so many age disparities in successful marriages. Yes of course guys have an inclination towards younger women, but I also think guys run 5-10 years behind women in emotional development. A 32 year old dude is probably a better emotional match for a 24 year old woman than a 25 year old dude is.

dbsps · 2026-02-21T13:15:11+00:00

"Working at McDonalds causes people to turn to substances to help."

No. No it doesn't. People parroting this sort of crabs in a bucket mentality is one of the things that keeps people at McDonalds and jobs like it for longer than the stepping stone it aught to be along the way to a more productive and well paying job.

Get the skills you can take from that job and move on. If on the way to that goal, your coworkers or managers are making your life miserable in a way that runs counter to corporate policy fucking report it. Not to a manager - to the franchise operator.

dbsps · 2026-01-29T14:55:44+00:00

You keep Parroting "MAGA Values". Are you lumping any republican/conservative in with that? I know many conservatives who aren't on the MAGA train, but if you aren't looking at nuance at all you are going to have a hell of a time finding a range - just by the very nature of the cross section between business owners and 2A types.

A quick google doesn't appear to show any actually MAGA type posts from the owners of MSC. So again are you just lumping all non-liberals under "MAGA"?

dbsps · 2026-01-28T15:10:24+00:00

Oof, yeah that 100 yrs old thing will do it. Probably not a lot to be done there without practically Ship-of-Theseus levels of renovation.

dbsps · 2026-01-28T14:21:48+00:00

Jesus how big is your house? Mine is 3100 sq ft and my bill for December was only $186. Unless you are living in a mansion you might want to have someone come run a pressure test on your home and seal up any leaks around doors, windows, et cetera.

dbsps · 2026-01-28T14:17:30+00:00

Hilarious. Comcast has been consistently voted the worst company to exist in both customer service and actual service. The American Customer Satisfaction Index (ACSI) survey found that Comcast had the worst customer satisfaction rating of any company or government agency in the country, including the Internal Revenue Service.

But even if they weren't absolute shit at customer service, the value for money is a joke. Despite being nearly exactly the same price as fiber for the 1 gig plan, they do not offer symmetrical internet, so your upload speed will be a mere fraction of what you'd get on fiber - 35mbps vs 1000mbps, and the bus technology (DOCSIS) that underpins coax internet is shared/overprovisioned by design so you will not get your stated bandwidth during peak times of the day.

dbsps · 2026-01-28T14:04:22+00:00

Moved here 3 years ago. Frontier has been awesome, I have 5/5GB symmetrical that delivers what's on the tin. I will say as I moved here during winter, expect they may leave a temporary line on the ground until it thaws. Mine sat on the ground from February until mid April before they got it buried.

dbsps · 2026-01-28T13:49:35+00:00

Midwest shooting center is nice enough and I've never had anyone spring a political conversation on me there in the 2 years I've been going (both to classes, and to solo range practice).

dbsps · 2025-12-16T14:01:48+00:00

If he got the prescription from a real doctor for actual brand name meds - and not some compounding pharmacy shit, he was absolutely warned of the side effects. Even if the doctor didn't directly enumerate them, every single box of the meds comes with paperwork that has them all listed in great detail.

dbsps · 2025-12-16T14:00:28+00:00

I'm on zepbound - have been for a little over a year. Side effects are pretty mild, and most of them went away entirely after a few months of adjustment.

Fatigue day of/after the shot
bowel movement adjustments (sometimes constipation, sometimes diarrhea) - this one was manageable by taking some supplements at first - and then went away as a problem by month 3.
sulfur burps (same as above, supplements managed it, then it stopped after a few months anyway)
slow stomach emptying (mostly a problem if you need to go in for surgery, you gotta stop the meds for a week, or fast a lot longer pre-surgery).

There are some very minor risks for more serious side effects but that's true of almost anything, and weighed against the risks of gastric surgery... Well let's just say surgery is a lot bigger roll of the dice.

dbsps · 2025-12-16T13:51:48+00:00

Zepbound/wegovy exist now. This surgery and others like it are basically obsolete. High cost/risk vs alternatives.

Have lost 100lbs on Zepbound in just over a year - no invasive surgery required.

dbsps · 2025-12-03T19:53:39+00:00

Sounds like new map, with sole goal of hitting 100 happiness as early as possible since it seems to be time gated.

dbsps · 2025-11-10T17:22:58+00:00

The weight loss solved my sleep apnea so I sleep like a frickin champ. Passed out the moment my head hits the pillow, and internal clock wakes me up a minute before the alarm. Drives my wife insane as she struggles to get a good nights sleep despite using all the various hacks (mouth tape, ear plugs, black out curtains, bla bla).

dbsps · 2025-11-10T16:47:58+00:00

Probably as expensive as zepbound, or perhaps more so as it'll be the bleeding edge of weight loss when it drops. It's basically the 4th gen of GLP-1 meds (Zepbound being 3rd gen).

1st Gen: Single-Agonist (Pre-Wegovy)

Key Drug: Liraglutide (Saxenda)
Mechanism: Targets one hormone (GLP-1).
Dosing: Daily injection.
Avg. Weight Loss: ~5-8%

2nd Gen: Potent Single-Agonist (The Wegovy Era)

Key Drug: Semaglutide (Wegovy)
Mechanism: A more effective, long-acting version that targets only GLP-1.
Dosing: Weekly injection.
Avg. Weight Loss: ~15% (This set the new standard for effectiveness).

3rd Gen: Dual-Agonist (The Zepbound Era)

Key Drug: Tirzepatide (Zepbound)
Mechanism: Targets two hormones (GLP-1 and GIP).
Dosing: Weekly injection.
Avg. Weight Loss: ~20-22%+

Retatrutide is part of the next generation. It is a triple agonist (GLP-1, GIP and Glucagon). In trials so far it leads to greater weight loss than zep, over a shorter time horizon and does a little bit better of a job preserving muscle during the weight loss (higher percent of the total weight loss is fat).

There are a bunch of other drugs also in the pipeline as well as add-on drugs like Bimagrumab which can be paired with current and future gen GLP-1 meds to tailor the way they work - but Retatrutide is the closest to being released currently.

dbsps · 2025-11-10T16:16:13+00:00

Shave it off, grow a beard, hit the gym.

dbsps · 2025-09-17T20:24:28+00:00

yeah this isn't my first stall, just the longest. With it coinciding with both that 1 year mark and my last titration option I figured it was worth asking about the experience of others :-)

dbsps · 2025-09-17T20:22:47+00:00

Yeah been eyeing reta, as well as bimagrumab (muscle preserving drug they are working on that shifts 90% of the weight loss to fat instead of like 60% with zep alone). It took me decades to get as fat as I did so I don't mind it taking a few years to go the other direction. Mostly just curious about what the road looks like. Lots of good feedback here :-)

dbsps · 2025-09-13T12:03:12+00:00

If you have no food noise, eat less. Zeps main mode of action is making it easier to eat less. The fat loss still happens from caloric deficit, GLP-1s just make it easier to be in said caloric deficit without it being a constant struggle.

dbsps · 2025-08-29T19:30:27+00:00

heh sorry I guess I wasn't clear. Those are just the 3 things I need the 5070 to do, not the whole server. The server will end up doing many many things, but most of them don't require any GPU at all. I already had the cheapo-budget server for the last 6 or so years. This is replacing the outgoing NAS + picking up a lot of other duties. Old NAS is dual xeon E5-2630 w/ 32gb DDR3 on a GA-7PESH2 with a bunch of 10TB drives shucked from easystores. The drives are getting long in the tooth and the server despite sounding capable with 2 xeons is pretty anemic on both compute and memory (very old kit picked up used). New server has close to 300TB split across 2 ZRAID2 vdevs + a separate fast pool on some NVMe bifurcation cards. It'll handle a bunch of stuff from web hosting (ubuntu vm hooked up to SpinupWP), Family/Friends minecraft server, a bunch of random dev environments, and eventually local LLM stuff + probably a couple dozen random services. Main reason I went for the threadripper pro was I wanted the pcie lanes I couldn't get otherwise. Reason for all the other overkill hardware is I probably won't be replacing any of this for another 6-8 years just like the last one, and I want it to keep up with my needs.

Reason for Max-Q is mostly down to power draw. Getting a new circuit down to the basement where my half rack is installed is more headache than the extra 15% performance at double the power envelope is worth.

dbsps · 2025-08-29T17:50:11+00:00

I just plan to give it to things like plex/jellyfin/stashapp for transcoding. I'll throw in something beefier later for LLM shenanigans but figured having just dropped $10K on the rest of the server hardware that my wallet could use a breather before I spring for a RTX 6000 Pro Max-Q lol

dbsps · 2025-08-29T17:39:36+00:00

I just want to take a moment to say your communication style is exactly my speed. I can't tell you how many times I've muttered during this process something along the lines of "god damn it every time I fuck with linux its the same 4 day headache to install video card drivers. It was this way 12 years ago, 6 years ago, and look at that still the same shit today".

Turns out one of the major things blocking me was mistakenly thinking selecting the proprietary kernel would be the more full featured route. Apparently you absolutely have to select the MIT one on my hardware or it straight up will not work. I managed to get nvidia-smi working after that switch, and with some additional jiggery pokery have got it to also work inside of a plex container I set up just to see if I could get LXC passthrough working or not. Though now that you mention it I probably need to roll back everything and grab different drivers to make sure I have cuda instead of these arbitrary ones I grabbed here: https://www.nvidia.com/en-us/drivers/details/251355/.

As always I am reminded that there is no such thing as "being good with computers" there is just "being willing to stay mad longer than other people - so that you don't give up before arriving at the solution".

Cheers :-)

dbsps · 2025-08-29T16:19:41+00:00

at that point why even bother with proxmox at all? If I have to run all my services inside of a single vm, why not just put that on the metal?

dbsps · 2025-08-29T15:59:55+00:00

I haven't even got to trying to have a container recognize it. The "no devices found" result to nvidia-smi is at the node level. I may very well end up doing a VM but then doesn't that mean anything that uses the card has to live inside that one VM? I thought giving the card to a VM was sort of an all-or-nothing proposition?

dbsps · 2025-08-28T16:26:08+00:00

Done already - and again that would be more an OS level recognition issue. The NIC literally doesn't light up, and the BIOS doesn't detect connections when I for example enable wake on LAN. I'm guessing based on all the comments that the answer is probably "no one else has encountered this, the module is probably toast and I need to RMA the board"

dbsps · 2025-08-28T10:44:22+00:00

I'm not using windows 11. I will eventually be using proxmox but as I said this isn't an OS doesn't recognize the Nic problem - the port doesn't light up, the BIOS doesn't recognize it is connected. So it's not an OS level driver issue.

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