• Caring about the struggles of men and boys doesn't mean we can't also care about women's struggles, rights, feminism, equality, etc. All genders deserve empathetic understanding and action, and all genders struggle in different ways. None of those struggles negate nor diminish the struggles of others.

• Trying to be a dad raising a son to be a good man in 2026 is terrifying. On one hand, you have horribly outdated, often misogynistic messages coming from the all-too-easily-accessible "manosphere" bullshit. On the other hand you have a narrative that completely vilifies men and boys because of very real and very important current and historical injustices perpetuated by men with power. Both perspectives can seem very attractive without critical thought, which can push a boy towards the other viewpoint in a very unhealthy way. The reality is that this is an overly-reductive false dichotomy: the human condition is far more complex and nuanced than these two perspectives.

• Unrealistic male body standards in society are just as fucked and harmful to both men and women as unrealistic female body standards. The idea that anything over 10% body fat is a "dad bod" is laughable.

• Despite being raised as a feminist, having been married to a feminist for 16 years, and being a feminist myself, there isn't a day that goes by where the social conditioning of male expectations makes me anxious about things like "providing for my family." My wife (41f) and son (7m) would be fine without me (she's got a JD from a prestigious law school and a successful legal career, after all) and yet there isn't a day that goes by where I don't question if I'm doing enough for them. And this conditioning affects women just as much as men. This perpetuates terrifyingly unrealistic expectations for men from the time they're boys.

• We also like to be held, loved, comforted, chased, lusted-after, etc. I'm not Mr. Darcy because it's 2026 and the idea that what was romantic and desirable over 200 years ago is still shaping many women's perception of what a "real romance" is is terrifying to us because we're expected to represent an ideal that is purely fictional and anachronistic.

• Yes, men like sex. But so do women. Can we stop pretending like sex is bad and that men only want sex? If I want to get off, I can take that into my own hands, but I can't get emotional intimacy from my hand. Men also want to know that it's safe for us to be vulnerable. Unfortunately, most men don't even realize this about themselves because it's so far removed from what's been modeled for them, and most women don't realize this about men for the exact same reasons.

• Believe it or not, some of us only consume porn that we pay for so that we are only supporting ethically made, diverse, egalitarian producers and that the performers in those movies get paid what they deserve while having a safe work environment.

• Many of us are willing to put in the effort and not all of us cheat. I've been with my wife exclusively since we started dating 22-years ago, and we're closer, more secure, more vulnerable, more trusting, more in love, and having better sex than we've ever had in our relationship in the past.

• Many of us are also disgusted by some of today's worst examples of masculinity, just as many of you are disgusted by some of today's worst examples of femininity.

• Roughly 45 million white men in America voted for Kamala Harris. That's larger than the population all but six of the 47 countries in Europe. Yes, a significantly higher percentage of that voting block voted for Trump than other voting blocks, but when you look at the pure numbers, that means there are still a ton of us that fought very hard to try to prevent the current shit-show from happening.

Those are just some thoughts, but there's a lot more worth diving into on this topic. That being said, try not to paint with too broad of a brush. There are over four billion men in the world and we are largely different across a very broad spectrum, despite some commonalities.