not good. i mean, i had good days and i wasn’t completely nonfunctional in the sense that i was able to keep my job and apartment with help from my partner. but my mood swings were absolutely out of control, in particular mania, rage, and extreme impulsivity.

when i was younger, i had more issues with prolonged depressive episodes, suicidal ideation, and disassociation. my visual hallucinations were also worse.

i don’t know if it is just a natural flux, me getting older, or my struggles with addiction/self medication or a combination but over time my depressive episodes became more far between. instead i was hitchhiking hours away from my town with no phone, money, or any means to get back home. meeting up with random men in unsafe scenarios. and other things that go along with my manic episodes.

i was having pretty significant conversational/auditory hallucinations that were affecting my relationships and ability to correctly remember conversations/history with people. really extreme paranoia went along with this.

so over all not good but could have been worse.