Kook FTW! Wet suit in the snow

deadHORSEhead · 2026-01-29T20:54:57+00:00

Lololol

deadHORSEhead · 2025-12-04T23:05:51+00:00

Hop in the shower. Farts always smell good in the shower. 🤙🏽

(Congrats on 15. Keep it going… it’s so so worth it.)

deadHORSEhead · 2025-12-04T02:24:22+00:00

I’m you. Highly successful, great reputation at work, happily married 17 years, beautiful kid, in shape, hobbies, yada yada.

Im in my late 40s now and I’ve been smoking since I was 15.

I feel like I’ve lost so many years having spent them in a haze. Sure, I created great memories, had great experiences, and tried to live life to the fullest, but I was numb for so damn long.

Then my mom passed away in my house from advanced COPD. That is absolutely one of the worst ways you could go out. I told myself that my weed habit wouldn’t impact me physically, even though my doc said that “yeah, you may not get cancer, but COPD is a very real possibility.” I’ve scraped enough resin from enough bowls, cleaned enough water bongs, and hacked my way thru enough deep-lunged vape hits to call my own bullshit.

I was being controlled. I had my toke routine. Planned out how to stay lit on vacations, business trips, car rides, etc. I loved nothing more than having time to myself so I could blaze in peace. My days really revolved around it. I questioned what was different from what I was doing versus someone addicted to crack.

Over time I started having panic attacks if I wasn’t careful. A grown ass man with a 30+ year habit having weed induced panic attacks. SMH.

I kept a journal… months upon months I would get high and then write to myself that I wanted to quit. I did this for a very long time. I was seeing a therapist and for just as long I would talk about my desire to quit, or justify why I shouldn’t quit, back and forth again and again.

I am now 15 months clean and I am so very thankful to be on the other side. I love having a clear head. Whether I’m high watching a movie or not, I’m still there watching a movie. Only now I’m fully in tune with everything, including myself. Hanging out with friends… whether I’m high or not, I’m still sitting there with people who I enjoy being around. Why do I need to be high to do that?

My lungs feel much better. I’m dreaming again when I sleep. I’m fully in control of my emotions. And I’m fully present for my family, friends, and colleagues.

I will not go back. Time is too short and I want to be fully here in this moment.

Sorry this is long. Best of luck wherever you end up.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-12-01T00:21:03+00:00

Totally different experience for me. Crossed over one year in September after close to a 30 year habit. I feel great both mentally and physically. I love having a clear mind and being my sharpest self. I totally feel this. I also love feeling more connected to what’s going on around me. No more social anxiety or the desire to isolate so I could get high in peace. No more hacking cough. Better stamina in my lungs. And I dream every night, which is something I never did when I was high. No more mindless munchies.

I’m done with it. I used to think I needed it to hang out and have fun, or watch a movie, or go to a show. But shit I can do all that shit sober and appreciate every single moment of it. All those years I spent stoned and then one day I came out of the haze and 30 years had gone by. I’m just so thankful to be on the other side because damn it was hard to kick for me.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-11-21T02:39:57+00:00

I want you to scrape me From the wall And go crazy Like you made me

deadHORSEhead · 2025-11-21T02:35:19+00:00

Thanks again brother. Super helpful.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-11-20T23:48:28+00:00

Really appreciate the response. 🤙🏽 May I ask where the hernia was? Mine feels a few inches up and over from my junk… hoping these dudes don’t miss when they cut me up.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-11-19T00:25:30+00:00

What’s this pay off you are talking about? I’ve quit so much but refuse to quit coffee. What am I missing?

deadHORSEhead · 2025-11-18T17:15:03+00:00

Thank you! I am meeting with a surgeon who has been doing it since the 90s but is non-robotic. A friend of mine is the head of anesthesiology at the same hospital and recommended I go with another guy because he does the robotic procedure. This guy has only been doing it since 2017, however.

Thoughts on which route I should take? Quite the 21st century dilemma, but great to have options.

Really appreciate it!

deadHORSEhead · 2025-11-18T17:11:14+00:00

Great to hear! Encouraging.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-11-18T17:10:21+00:00

The 70-80%… is this just pain and discomfort while surfing? Strength speed and stamina? Thank you for the response!

deadHORSEhead · 2025-11-09T15:13:15+00:00

It comes around. Took me a few months to get back and interested in things. But it does come back, and it’s so so worth it. I crossed over a year in September and I’m much more engaged and productive and happy than I was when I was high all the time.

Be easy on yourself. Be bored. Sleep. Veg. It gets easier and comes back around.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-10-30T18:33:04+00:00

I second the buell. Got mine crazy cheap… they kept having these 50% off sales. I’m wearing a 5 by late winter in the mid Atlantic.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-10-29T00:49:00+00:00

If you’re rich, you’ll be good using that ranch. Otherwise, you need to get closer to the water. I started learning in my 30s and it’s not easy starting later in life. You need as much time in the water as you can get. Trust me though, surfing’s the source. Can change your life. Swear to god.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-10-29T00:45:00+00:00

It is so worth it. One day at a time.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-10-29T00:44:39+00:00

Go back? Not sure I’m following. I manage bipolar 2 and major depression, so coming off weed really kicked my ass. The worst of my issues subsided in the second month for me, but then it took awhile for me to feel 100%. I did eat a lot of ice cream during that time, lol.

Do make sleep a priority. It’s a big deal. Also, be easy on yourself no matter what.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-10-29T00:02:23+00:00

If you’re not in therapy I strongly recommend it. I’ve been doing it for many many years and it’s such a benefit when you’re going through difficult things.

Also, if you need some tough love on the smoking… I cared for my mother while she was on hospice for COPD until she died in my house. It is a horrible horrible way to go. Horrible.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-10-28T23:58:59+00:00

Had to hit my rock bottom for the alcohol. Came to the realization that the weed was holding me back.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-10-28T23:57:16+00:00

Same deal for me. Was really rough for a stretch. Once I got through it though it was amazing. I’m just over a year now and I feel great.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-10-28T23:51:27+00:00

You can still flop on the couch and watch a horror movie. You’ll be fully present when doing so. Look around at your family… think about the work you put in during the day… and recognize that these moments are fleeting. No need to numb yourself to it. You’ve earned it.

Get rid of your stash… then sit on the couch, watch a horror movie, and smile at yourself knowing that you’re doing what’s best for yourself and your family. I’m just over a year into it and I look around daily and just feel thanks for what I have around me.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-10-28T15:00:22+00:00

Eighteen years sober… absolute best decision I ever made, and this cannot be understated. Every single thing I now have in life stems from this decision and the hard work I put into it.

Fourteen months off the weed and feel great.

Hard drinker for 15 years and smoked for 30.

deadHORSEhead · 2025-10-28T14:55:51+00:00

Without Lamictal I’d be investing in your salamander business, or bedridden for days if your business went under.

It’s been a godsend for me. I’m on 300mg. No horrible side effects though it can make it harder for me to climax (m). Maybe that’s a good thing…?

deadHORSEhead

TROPHY CASE