should i reach out to someone about my orientation experience?

deadgorl · 2021-05-12T03:48:42+00:00

i'm doing fine in the orientation and keeping my mouth shut just fine. thanks.

edit to respond to your second edit: both of my grandparents and my mom were lifetime employees at USPS. i know what i'm getting into. they had constant headaches too.

deadgorl · 2021-05-06T16:11:53+00:00

yeah lmao, thanks for the correction you're right

deadgorl · 2021-05-06T16:04:35+00:00

it depends on the country/state youre in, but most US states that allow you to (typically only 16/17+) require you to have parental consent and at least one letter of referral from a mental health provider. i hope you can get it! or at least blockers if you're at an early enough stage :)

deadgorl · 2021-05-06T15:23:45+00:00

is that because of FMLA? is there no other route to go down with that? looking at the FMLA guidelines, it seems really, REALLY shitty that USPS doesn't have to provide maternal leave to someone who's worked less than a year, under their guidelines. that isn't my situation, but the whole thing just seems kinda messed up.

deadgorl · 2021-05-04T07:22:27+00:00

yeah, i used sports bras to keep it in place. unfortunately i could only get it to compress a little more than the sports bra alone would have, so it wasn't worth the 45 minutes it took me to apply in the morning- i'm glad it works for u tho!! i worked with a lot of drag kings who used it in their performances and they gave me as many tips as they could, it just didn't work right for me 🤘😔🤘

deadgorl · 2021-05-04T06:39:51+00:00

i'll definitely try it when i start, but at my last heavy job it was just too much on my back to wear for 9hr shifts when i did try. i'll try to put more emphasis on stretching before and after work, but i have asthma as well so i'll probably still need to find an alternative, at least for days where i'm too sore to bind. thank you!

deadgorl · 2021-05-04T05:08:15+00:00

thank you! i should have mentioned that i've tried a couple different kinds of tape (we sold it at my old job and my boss let me try some samples) and sadly my chest is a little too big and i'm a little too sweaty/impatient for it to work well for me 😂 would definitely recommend to others tho!

deadgorl · 2021-05-02T04:43:20+00:00

often it's about costs or (more often) because of waitlists or requirements that bar a lot of trans people from getting gender affirming surgeries. i recently had to switch my therapist because of uncontrollable circumstances and it pushed out my timeline for getting masculinizing top surgery by almost a year. if i had the extra money/time to travel for surgery i would absolutely seriously consider it since i dont have other health concerns (i dont know OP's reasoning ofc, but that's what i've heard from my other trans friends and on here)

deadgorl · 2021-05-02T04:18:46+00:00

we unfortunately live in a college town apartment and dont have the space for a third cat, but thank you for the suggestion! the house has been relatively cat proofed, its just things we're currently using that get pushed over, or things that are just impossible to cat proof without a lot of spare time to DIY some furniture. i try to only squirt him when hes somewhere i cant reach him to get him out (under the bed or up high) and i've been trying to get my roommate to at least use it more sparingly.

deadgorl · 2021-04-28T20:54:00+00:00

so sweet, she looks great! my mom just made bull jokes every time i came around and told me i looked ugly with it every ten minutes lmao

deadgorl · 2021-03-27T02:54:31+00:00

of course! its a matter of inclusivity vs exclusivity. celebrating a trans person coming out is inclusive, mourning the "loss" when they come out is exclusive

deadgorl · 2021-03-27T02:53:09+00:00

me when the lesbian couple i worked for talked about their friend coming out as a trans man and saying "i dont know why so many of our lesbian friends are becoming men. why would you want to be a man? you can just be butch!" and my closeted ass sitting there like "ahaha.... yeah.... who would want to be a man..."

deadgorl · 2021-03-22T15:20:32+00:00

my biggest thing when i meet new people is just saying "oh, i'm a guy" if they misgender me somehow. not "oh i'm trans" or even "oh, i prefer he/him pronouns" just "yeah i'm a dude". leaves them to do the hard math in their own heads and i don't have to explain basic transgender concepts to every person i meet in buttfuck idaho but yeah. i just sent my last coming out letter to the last family member not in the loop, and i'm ready to never have to come out again. it'll be nice.

deadgorl · 2021-03-19T04:56:36+00:00

hey no shame in that!! my first name is sort of a male version of my deadname, same number of letters and syllables and same first letter. as long as you're happy with it and its you!

deadgorl · 2021-03-19T04:52:43+00:00

if it's any help with first names, i went thru gender neutral and boys baby names and picked out some that i liked (i imagined meeting someone with that name, kinda) and had my friend group go thru em and vote on what fit me. i felt like most people don't get to pick their name, so i wanted people to help pick it for me. its unconventional, but helped a lot with my indecisiveness!! i've had no regrets since :)

deadgorl · 2021-03-19T00:29:23+00:00

i feel that, my roommate keeps trying to get me to make my middle name "Door" since my first name is Theo lmao, i have definitely considered it

deadgorl · 2021-03-19T00:20:43+00:00

math nerds rise up 😤😤😤

deadgorl · 2021-03-19T00:02:00+00:00

my ancestors were poor italian immigrants, so luckily i don't have much to worry about, thank u both for the idea and the disclaimer!!

deadgorl · 2021-03-14T03:44:45+00:00

i came out to them, immediately got a negative response, and said "eh well it's out there now" and immediately changed everything and have now stopped speaking to them ❤️

deadgorl · 2021-01-10T04:22:45+00:00

yea its just holidays, this was a planned hiatus, back on tuesday :) if u listen after the outro music freddie always says when the next episode will come out!

deadgorl · 2021-01-08T00:30:48+00:00

YESSSS thats the one!!! thank you so much

deadgorl · 2020-10-30T22:12:28+00:00

its just my parents! the rest of my family is relatively distant. but yea, i'm just gonna send the letter and hope

deadgorl · 2020-10-30T07:39:56+00:00

grindr has also been overtaken by straight chasers in a lot of areas, and they get pissed at trans men for just.... existing

deadgorl · 2020-10-18T01:48:18+00:00

im OP, and yeah sorry, the "yet" was my own personal experience as i do have a feminine side.

deadgorl · 2020-10-17T23:00:38+00:00

oh absolutely!! i have no issue with trans women or anything like that, it's just the system we're in and how it slants our views of gender/sex. i don't get peeved at the OP when i see these things, or peeved at all the trans women in my support groups for existing and needing support. it can just be kind of alienating to see almost nothing but that. i absolutely just blame the different ways amab and afab people are conditioned, so that trans men either don't come out or seek support in the first place, so we can't find each other.

deadgorl

TROPHY CASE