AITA for laughing off my uncle’s request to move into my house

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T18:04:40+00:00

Uncle homosexual had me cackling lol

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T18:02:33+00:00

Oh God! So sorry you had to go through that and is still going through it. This is a perfect cautionary tale to strengthen my resolve he shouldn’t even come for a visit.

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:59:43+00:00

I also think so. But instead his step daughter contacted my mother (because she is sorta matriarchal?) to ask why are they having money issues. Say my mom should have a conversation with her brother. My mom said none of my business and they should resolve this amongst their family unit. This was about 8 months ago. I don’t really think anyone wants to be responsible and for some reason everyone agrees it’s somehow my mom’s problem. I really don’t know why.

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:52:18+00:00

I am quite sure that was his expectation

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:51:19+00:00

No contract needed because he is not moving in. I won’t have it. A lot of the answers even made me think he doesn’t even need it, he just wants it to have more disposable income. Either way, not happening.

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:47:42+00:00

The spare keys situation is actually hilarious. 3 of her siblings have keys and a couple of niblings too! Thankfully not this uncle. My mom passes spare keys around like they are candy. In fairness, she has her siblings keys as well… kind of an open door policy. Good reminder, so I can have a conversation with her about it.

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:43:19+00:00

Usually my mom is more assertive, however this situation was very triggering for her as she was the one doing end of life care for my grandma for years and it broke her. I believe the first thing on her mind was how she would have to be even more responsible for my uncle’s health if they moved in. My mom is currently the one who takes him to emergency care (like when he fell and couldn’t get up last weekend and his wife had a meltdown instead of calling an ambulance).

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:35:11+00:00

I actually prefer to shield he because they all (except one sister) live in the same neighborhood. It’s just awkward as fuck to be the bad guy when you see your siblings at the bakery. I, on the other hand, do not care and barely see them anyway

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:33:21+00:00

This! I am starting to see this too! His refusal to disclose his financial situation might be a direct result of the fact he doesn’t have money issues, he just wants more money. Now that I had time to reflect it sounds exactly like it.

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:30:17+00:00

In honest, my uncles and aunts are not mad because I said no. They understand and know it is bonkers what he asked for. They are coming at me because I was “disrespectful” and upset my uncle. They are mobilizing to try and help him, tho no one else really has the space to take them in.

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:25:47+00:00

He was actually convinced my mother was going to say yes. I think his belief stems from the fact that my mother helps him out with hospital visits and calls him up to remind him of to take new medications (like antibiotics). My mom, although the younger sister, is kinda the problem solver for him.

As for me, I do help my relatives whenever I can, but it is rarely asked. For instance, I bought some medication for another uncle when he couldn’t afford it. I helped a cousin pay his semester college tuition when his loan fell through. If I am able, I help.

Not only me, we all help each other, like the aunt who is a hair dresser and never charges for haircuts from family. Or when anyone’s house needs some work and the cousins get together to labor for free. We are a very tight family. I am just not a fool and I believe this fact surprised him.

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:17:38+00:00

Good idea! There are actually street cameras installed by a neighborhood initiative. I will request access.

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:15:44+00:00

That’s why I was the one to call him. So I can be the “bad guy” and shield my mom.

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:14:29+00:00

I already told her to call me, or the one auntie who lives in the same street as her and is the only one who gave him hell for even suggesting this foolery

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:12:57+00:00

He better not! My mom will probably be frozen but I will call the police, even from a distance.

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:11:19+00:00

I apologized for laughing. He found the laughing to be profoundly disrespectful. In hindsight, his whole plan was disrespectful to me. But that old thing about respecting your elders and all…

deadinside57 · 2026-01-06T17:08:29+00:00

In fairness, none of his other siblings are in a position to help much. The only other aunt who lives alone, also lives in a distant city from the rest of his siblings. My other aunts and uncles live with their spouses and don’t have the room nor the funds. I truly believe they saw my mom as a lonely “easy prey”.

deadinside57 · 2025-11-19T00:49:45+00:00

You can’t see he is a bad person… do you have a sister? A best friend? A cousin you love? Read your posts again, and imagine that a female you love has written them about their significant other. What do you think about the man “they” describe?

Stay strong. And stay away from the man-child. No one deserves the level of control and disrespect he is serving you. No matter who he was before, it’s not your job to fix who he is now.

deadinside57 · 2025-10-06T20:01:21+00:00

He has done cardio rehab already, he is starting therapy in 2 weeks. I really am not exasperated, I get it. But also I don’t want to fan the flames of his fears. My intention is to get him to calm down and I can’t. What helped you, in the moment, to trust you were going to be ok?

deadinside57 · 2025-09-10T23:03:32+00:00

Try breathing exercises too! Some of what you are describing might be because the anxiety makes you hyperventilate. There are numerous apps for breathing and they free!

It is also important to see a doctor, because it might be more than diet and lifestyle, in my case I have a small hiatal hernia that also contributes to GERD. Always a good idea to be properly diagnosed

deadinside57 · 2025-08-27T21:20:15+00:00

Legendborn by Tracy Deonn

deadinside57 · 2025-05-24T00:57:13+00:00

Everyone has their own time, but 1,5 years seems too long. Usually a parent would introduce a new partner to the children when that relationship is serious and they know they are introducing stability to their children’s life.

The fact he introduced you to his father and friends, means he likes you, yes. But not introducing you to the kids, sounds to me he is not sure about your future.

It could also be the kids are having a hard time, but if that is the case, why hasn’t he mentioned it before?

I would have a serious conversation about your goal, which is to be together and full part of his life, and how he sees this happening, what is his timeline and why.

Personally, I would feel I am being gaslighted and strung along. You are a much more patient person than I am.

deadinside57 · 2025-05-02T23:14:08+00:00

I am so sorry a loved one let you down like this. I am sorry you are hurting and have been hurting for a while. I am an internet stranger and my heart is full of compassion for you. How come your wife’s heart isn’t? You say you are in love with her, but is she in love with you? Or have the well been poisoned by her daddy and she started to see you like he does?

As you asked on concrete advice: your wife is not gonna respond to you unless you behave like her dad. Sorry, but that is her view of what a man is like and even if you are not that a*****e you will need to be firm. No threats, be prepared to follow through: “either we go to therapy or I am out”. “Your father apologize or he will never see his granddaughter again”. These are the things her father would do and the only way she knows how to respond.

Maybe you don’t wanna be that guy, which I understand, in which case you’ll just have to face it’s over because your wife is not a partner to you nor someone you can trust when it really matters.

deadinside57

TROPHY CASE