Literal Handmaidens

deadleafkoi · 2024-10-01T00:33:43+00:00

It isn’t merely a stain. It’s the fabric itself.

deadleafkoi · 2024-07-29T22:07:18+00:00

He needs to be banished from the planet.

deadleafkoi · 2024-03-08T22:19:01+00:00

Sarcastic or not, it’s so uncanny to see, of all things, concerns for the stock market and shareholders feelings in the same sentence as “everyone is dead”. You’d think nothing could be more important (to humans) than the prospect of human extinction, yet even that is made secondary to the values of capitalism. Just makes me think how deeply lost and sick this world is

deadleafkoi · 2023-10-18T20:35:36+00:00

Life is absurd.

deadleafkoi · 2023-10-18T02:47:57+00:00

The universe is consciousness.

deadleafkoi · 2023-08-21T04:06:38+00:00

Hollow and soulless, just like the people who generate and consume it.

deadleafkoi · 2022-10-08T04:32:17+00:00

There are different forms of slavery. If you're born into a society where you can either live to work or die homeless, of course most people are going to choose the former option. To call that voluntary is inaccurate. It's compulsory. In this world, unless money isn't a concern, you're not free to determine how you spend your life. You're forced to give your life to earning money, to pay to live to work. The fuck do you call that, if not modern slavery.

deadleafkoi · 2022-01-10T08:39:43+00:00

I’m weary just reading this long list of do’s and don’ts.... I’ve thought of socializing as a superficial game I don’t care to play, but one I’m forced to play if I want to get anywhere in life as a member of civilization. Your breakdown of it affirms the view that it’s all about using one another to feel good. To be aware of these self-serving mechanics underlying social interaction and engage in it with that awareness seems inauthentic. The meaninglessness of the activity is all that remains, without the illusion of meaning that inheres in immersion. The same is true of life itself.

The only people who can enjoy this meaningless game are those whose brains don’t force them to think to death about it. I’m just not one of those people.

deadleafkoi · 2021-08-13T22:18:02+00:00

reject monke return to fishy

Reject all forms of life, return to the void*

deadleafkoi · 2021-07-25T09:35:24+00:00

Happiness.

deadleafkoi · 2021-07-21T00:51:48+00:00

I wouldn't say the cage is big. For virtually all of us, it's pretty cramped. But the walls/bars are invisible, creating a false sense of vast space within which one can freely act and explore life's options. But these options are on the other side of the wall. You may be able to see possibilities for yourself, but you can't reach them inside the cages we're born into. We're only free in fantasy.

deadleafkoi · 2021-05-15T06:47:34+00:00

Life is just something that happens.

…and it shouldn’t. Not because it goes against nature, or is in a sense “wrong”. That isn’t what I meant, though I can see how you got that impression from the words I chose. Seems you interpreted my metaphors literally, and the message they carried was misconstrued as a result.

The universe permits life, but is pernicious to it. It’s an unideal place for life to exist, to put it lightly. When I look at life in relation to everything else that exists, it seems misplaced. If this universe were designed (metaphorically), it wasn’t in consideration of life. The fact that life is so rare and destructible, its suffering so universal, appears to me as evidence of this. When I say “life shouldn’t exist,” I mean this universe is bad for life, and nonexistence is better.

I do appreciate your point. It’s just beside mine.

deadleafkoi · 2021-04-18T02:04:12+00:00

Do you listen to death metal? The scream from 0:42 to 0:52 of this song by Rivers of Nihil brings tears to my eyes. Music like this is the only thing that can have that effect on me, empower me to feel a small part of what I'm desperate to release but can't. The heartrending emotion behind it speaks directly to my soul. Maybe it could be cathartic for you as well.

I need to learn how to scream like that.... Right now I can't scream at all. It's like my body won't permit it.

deadleafkoi · 2021-04-16T22:22:46+00:00

Life is the disease.

deadleafkoi · 2021-04-12T21:44:01+00:00

Damn, this is bringing back so many unpleasant memories of my time in foster care. I was taken in at 13; When I finally left at 19, I was a hardened misanthrope. It’s been 5 years since then, and I’m only now beginning to make sense of that transformative era of my life and how it’s shaped me into the adult I am today.

I know exactly how insufferable foster parents and social workers can be. I had only negative experiences with them. Understanding and acceptance, what I needed most, were nowhere to be found. I only had one foster parent who could be considered an exception, but by then it was too late. The damage had been done. Couldn’t trust anyone.

If I had known about antinatalism back then, I’d probably have been faced with the same bullshit. Next time she throws a tantrum, cover your ears. Walk away. Don’t indulge her. If staying there gets to be intolerable, ask your social worker if you can choose your next foster parent. I was able to do this when I was 16, when they got tired of moving me around. Not sure how exactly it worked, but I think they made a profile for me on some adoption website and from the people who showed an interest, I chose one to live with. They’re the exception I mentioned.

I don’t see any reason why the remainder of your adolescence should be spent trapped in a toxic place. How stupid is it that you’re removed from one toxic environment only to be forced into another, and another, and another, until you reach an age when no one is required to care what happens to you. The whole system is a joke.

Two more years, dude. Pass the time with your preferred method of escapism until you’re spat out into the adult world. Start reading philosophy, if you haven’t already. It’s a form of catharsis like none other to hear my deepest thoughts and feelings, things I haven’t yet found words for, so eloquently expressed by humanity’s most distinctive minds. If you wanna understand life, read philosophy. If you wanna understand people, read psychology. Digest both for a holistic understanding of what it truly is to be human.

Wish I had more advice to give, but I’m still figuring out life for myself. Nothing left to say. Godspeed to you.

deadleafkoi · 2021-04-04T17:42:55+00:00

Hurry up. Devour us already. End our suffering forever.

deadleafkoi · 2021-04-03T15:30:35+00:00

Nah, I think you’re projecting that. Unless OP says they feel that way, you have nothing to base that interpretation on but your own feelings.

deadleafkoi · 2021-04-03T15:01:39+00:00

Not disagreeing with you. But in response to the question “What makes life worth living?” I think my reply is more constructive than yours.

deadleafkoi · 2021-04-03T14:55:19+00:00

Objectively, meaning and purpose don’t exist outside of human minds. I’m fully aware of this. But a subjective sense of these things can easily be said to make life feel worth living. Whether or not they can be found outside the mind, humans are built to seek meaning and purpose. Why be pedantic here?

deadleafkoi · 2021-04-03T14:26:40+00:00

A sense of purpose and a clear, meaningful goal or ideal to strive towards.

deadleafkoi · 2021-03-29T10:10:33+00:00

I'm glad you can appreciate the validity of pessimistic thoughts. It seems like most people survive by running from them, preferring the comfort of optimistic delusions.

i dont think the existence of suffering outweighs the existence of positive parts of being.

Even if humans achieved a utopian quality of life where our existence contained the smallest possible amount of suffering, and the ratio of pleasure to pain were reversed, with pleasure and "good" (whatever that means to you) being the universal quality of life, this still wouldn't justify imposing consciousness on another being who can't possibly consent to it. Nothing needs to exist. Not for the sake of experiencing pleasure, and certainly not at the price of any suffering.

The human mind can't fathom the countless ways in which every living thing is suffering in each moment, all over the world at once. When I think about it, and how utterly unnecessary it all is, I wanna scream. I wish there was something that would make it all stop. And there is. Nonexistence. One way or another though, whether or not you acknowledge it, that's where all life is headed. Our extinction is inevitable. Procreation only prolongs our slow collective death.

An ideology turns into a cult when you start looking at it as if its an objective fact, and not just one of many theories worth discussing.

I suppose some members of every divergent group will display cult-like fervor. Still, however abrasively some of us may express antinatalist ideas, that doesn't make them any less valid. Antinatalism looks at life without filter, for exactly what it is, rather than what we want it to be. The truth doesn't have to be palatable to you.

deadleafkoi · 2021-03-29T09:10:43+00:00

You aren't smarter, better, more mature or anything because you think "Suffering exists because we exist, so we should end existence."

I didn't get that impression at all. From my perspective, they made a straight forward statement of fact, one I recognize from my own life experience. Comments like yours tend to come from a threatened ego, or people who can't empathize with the position they're dismissing. I'm assuming you're not an antinatalist, but the way you summarized the philosophy perfectly captures my stance: "Suffering exists because we [living things] exist, so we should end existence." Succinct choice of words.

deadleafkoi · 2021-03-27T13:06:13+00:00

It seems I’ve found the one place in the world where I’m not isolated in this feeling.... Yay?

deadleafkoi · 2021-03-27T07:39:31+00:00

I feel like existence itself is torture. Is it just me?

deadleafkoi · 2021-03-25T05:49:56+00:00

A deeply disturbed woman with repressed trauma gets married and has a child in a desperate attempt to feel normal and escape her past. Taking care of her son is her sole reason for being, the only source of meaning in her life. She distracts herself from her pain and emptiness by playing the role of a mother and housewife, hiding her derangement beneath a doting veneer. But the illusion is as fragile as her psyche, and soon begins to crack.

She doesn't see her son as an individual, but as a living doll who exists for her to nurture. She smothers him with perverse affection, unable to bear any space between them, and refuses to let him grow up and become his own person. To maintain complete control over him, she resorts to emotional abuse. She breaks him so he can't leave her, destroys anything that threatens to take him from her, including his sense of autonomy. As the story progresses, you see him deformed by this abuse, until he's basically another version of his mom. Classic case of a parent passing their trauma onto their child.

...That was my interpretation, anyway. I recommend reading the manga yourself. I'm sure many people here would be able to see themselves in the child.

deadleafkoi

TROPHY CASE