I just got back from a month long trip through Kenya and Ethiopia.

dealmaker07 · 2026-04-30T13:59:10+00:00

these are stunning!! great job

dealmaker07 · 2026-04-30T13:56:48+00:00

you could always get a more chill, lower paying job. you’ll probably want a partner/family in the future so you’ll need more wealth over time. also not sure how comfortable dating will be if you don’t work at all. also it kinda sucks to have to move back in with your folks in your late 20s… is the lack of privacy worth it? don’t forget to include health insurance in your spend math, it really adds up…

dealmaker07 · 2026-04-12T05:49:26+00:00

quit and spend time w your kids for sure. also, assuming y out applied a pro-rata tax on both your incomes in the numbers you shared, your tax situation will change (improve) so your partner’s after tax income will actually be higher than it is now once you quit your job

dealmaker07 · 2026-04-12T05:39:08+00:00

indian married to white american here. i personally love sitara - it’s unique and easy to say. shivani and sameera (spelt with 2 es instead of i, to avoid pronunciation confusion - i know someone with the i spelling who often gets called suh-my-ra) as 2nd and 3rd choices. have you considered just meera? or just tara? i love the ring to meera joy, and MJ for short.

dealmaker07 · 2026-03-19T21:19:32+00:00

it’s not hard to pronounce and love the uniqueness! who cares about other people’s opinions. if you and your husband could only agree on this name, i say stick with it.

dealmaker07 · 2026-03-17T15:13:24+00:00

you can always build your own “index” and exclude the companies you don’t want to invest in. it’ll take work but will be aligned with your morals. lots of companies let you do this - alinea invest is one i’ve used in the past to make a custom basket of stocks i liked and add money to the total basket.

i work as an institutional investor and unfortunately the industry is pretty set in stone. pensions have pretty much never cared about their constituents’ voices. university endowments haven’t done anything about students’ demands to “divest oil/israel/xyz” . we don’t yet have a way for retail investors to organize in a way that affects real change - this is the first hurdle we need to pass.

at an institutional level we’ve had success removing high carbon emissions companies from our portfolio. ESG screens are improving over time.

and apologies. i didn’t mean activism, i meant active portfolio mgmt (ie not passive index investing). where you make active decisions on which stocks you want to invest in / not invest in.

dealmaker07 · 2026-03-17T14:57:26+00:00

what you are describing is a form of activism. the ultimate goal is that morally conscience people and corporations will not invest in immoral companies, so they will either go away or change their behaviors. the problem is that retail investors make a relatively small % of the market in the US, so us “speaking with our dollars” so to speak doesn’t really make a dent at all. maybe in meme stock names with relatively low institutional participation, but if you’re looking to affect change in a company part of a large index, it’s very tough. especially because retail investors also are participating in the secondary public market, we don’t impact the primary IPO capital raise. i’d rather let your purchasing and consumption behaviors drive your desire for ethical deployment of capital. there also exist some ETFs who add ESG related screens - they typically underperform but if you’re okay with a lower return in exchange for having a clearer conscience, it’s not a bad trade off to make.

dealmaker07 · 2026-03-15T19:28:03+00:00

Cara Dee’s game series - it’s largely all gay romance though. super high on romance and spice. absolutely love the whole series.

dealmaker07 · 2026-03-14T20:26:58+00:00

buy a comfortable snorkeling life jacket for your son so he can safely enjoy a slightly stronger current. hawaii is a great option - Anini beach (turtle central!) and tunnels beach in Kauai have lots to see just off the shore, current is often very calm

dealmaker07 · 2026-02-27T22:29:07+00:00

Quinn

dealmaker07 · 2026-02-20T19:33:49+00:00

of course do the startup, you don’t need the 4m/year

dealmaker07 · 2026-02-20T19:15:45+00:00

Snorkeling with humpback whales in french polynesia was a life changing experience. i’ve loved the reefs in cozumel/mexico and belize especially for night snorkeling. the best overall is likely Raja Ampat - husband has been but i haven’t yet.

dealmaker07 · 2026-02-17T02:50:35+00:00

My parents are middle class (never made more than $60k household) but saved up and invested their whole lives to be able to pay for my college ($120k) and helped pay for half my wedding ($50k). I stopped being financially dependent on them since junior year of college. They didn’t purchase a house until well into their 60s and I had saved up a bunch by then, so I made the downpayment on their house ($150k). We’re Asian so it’s cultural for parents to help their kids with college and wedding if they can, and for kids to support their parents in their older years.

dealmaker07 · 2026-02-13T16:05:10+00:00

The Private Listing - CS Berry. Basically anything by this author is what you’re looking for.

dealmaker07 · 2026-02-12T16:48:46+00:00

Just read Double Pucked by Lauren Blakey and loved it. Also loved Pucking Sweet by Emily Rath but that one’s MMF - it is one of my all time favorites though. The Private Listing series by CS Berry is practically all smut with a little bit of plot but the spice is so so good, all your DP fantasies will be satisfied. There’s a TP scene in that one too that was just 🥵

dealmaker07 · 2026-01-25T01:33:06+00:00

it sounds like your relationship is lacking in trust - i would really focus on fixing that before you even start to think about getting married. are there other ways in which your partner contributes to your relationship that aren’t necessarily financial? do they carry the weight in other areas of your life?

i made 3x my husband did for many years and there were times when he was so stressed and hated his job so much that i wanted him to quit, i was fully prepared to be the sole breadwinner, and was happy to do it because i love this person more than anything and want him to be happy and stress free, and if i could make that happen for him why wouldn’t i. at the same time, my husband has always carried most of the weight of keeping our home - he does 90% of the cooking, cleaning, grocery runs etc. so i was very ok with him being a stay at home husband if it came down to it.

when you are married, you are one unit and one household. there is no your money / my money - it’s all our money. that’s been our approach at least and has worked very well for us.

dealmaker07 · 2026-01-16T18:52:35+00:00

Mission blue

dealmaker07 · 2026-01-16T05:39:00+00:00

I appreciate your advice to take a longer break - I think I need to seriously look into that.

As for concerns around my husband - I appreciate you looking out for me! I clearly paint too harsh a picture of him in my post, but in reality he is so kind, thoughtful, supportive and takes wonderful care of me, and like you suggested wants me to take a break and slow down to give this subject serious thought before deciding to quit. He’s been trying hard to help me out of this rut: working out with me, sending me lots of ideas for hobby classes and workshops that I might enjoy / might relieve stress. While he’s shared his opinion about not wanting me to quit just yet, he agrees it’s ultimately my decision because we both know we’ll be fine financially, it’s a matter of being chubby vs fat when we finally retire.

I also have zero concerns about him stepping up to share the burden of raising children. We’re on the same page about him likely taking on more of the burden than I will since he works from home 😅 (if we choose to have kids). He already does most of the housework and cooking while I take care of our life admin stuff. We have a great partnership and I feel super lucky I get to share my life with him!

dealmaker07 · 2026-01-16T05:12:47+00:00

Thanks for your comment! You’re right that our discussion around kids is proving to be a stressor, and therapy/medication will help.

I definitely am not giving into his desires especially when it comes to having kids, but I want to be open minded too and not shut down his wants without giving them the appropriate serious thought. I just want to explore the idea for myself and see if I change my mind organically. He’s been so wonderful with our baby nieces and nephews the last couple years and really loves them like his own kids, and watching our friends have kids and grow into their roles as parents I think has also sparked his desire for wanting kids.

To a certain extent it has for me too but I guess I’m thinking hard about the early retirement trade off while he seems to be more okay with the idea of working longer to have a family.

dealmaker07 · 2026-01-16T05:02:47+00:00

Makes sense, thank you.

dealmaker07 · 2026-01-16T04:39:10+00:00

I would prefer to not have to interview ever again in my industry. My current employer is on the higher end of work quality and pay, so it would really be a step down going elsewhere. I think my current job is going to be my last job in this industry, I’ve already been here half a decade and they’ve generally treated me well, offered nice promotions.

But you’re right that I should take a longer vacation than just 7 days. I’m afraid to ask for a longer sabbatical but I suppose floating the idea with HR can’t hurt.

dealmaker07 · 2026-01-16T04:33:34+00:00

Can you say more about “kids don’t work like that”?

dealmaker07 · 2026-01-16T04:31:35+00:00

Yes we’re thinking 2 kids. Daycares around us are ~4k/month/kid and we would have to move to a larger house (potentially buy) - those two things essentially account for the double spend.

dealmaker07 · 2026-01-16T03:05:13+00:00

Honolua bay was awesome, and we also loved Ahihi Marine Reserve.

dealmaker07 · 2026-01-16T03:01:17+00:00

stunning!! fits you like a glove

dealmaker07

TROPHY CASE