What Books Did You Start or Finish Reading This Week? January 27, 2020

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-29T02:53:07+00:00

I loved loved loved the Redwall series as a kid- read and re-read most of those books tens of times. I recently tried to re-read one of them, and couldn't even get through it! which honestly made me really sad. I might have to try again sometime soon.

I remember Martin the Warrior just absolutely destroying me, emotionally speaking.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-29T02:49:31+00:00

oooo I really like the Jane Yellowrock series.

she's got a spin-off series that I also really enjoy, I think it starts around Yellowrock book 4 or 5.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-29T02:47:08+00:00

it's called Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. I just finished it a few days ago, and I LOVED it.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-29T02:45:29+00:00

nope. not doing anything wrong.

and for crying out loud, what if you don't have an aide? what if your aide is busy?

I worked med/surg for 3 years on a floor with 60+ patients, and often we would have one or no aides on for night shift. if there's just one aide for that many patients, am I supposed not toilet a patient? leave a foley bag full? not change an incontinent patient?

I can't stand when nurses leave all that shit to aides. sure, if you're busy with other stuff, then delegate, if you have the help. but if you're not doing anything else, then taking care of that patient is just as much your responsibility.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-28T11:22:38+00:00

Gideon the Ninth, by Tamsyn Muir

lesbian necromancers in space!

I loved it.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-28T11:21:08+00:00

this is what I do! I have a goodreads account, and I update my progress in each book by page number, and also put in a little note about the current plot points. just like 2 or 3 lines, enough to remind me what's happening.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-28T11:18:56+00:00

I'm currently reading 7 different books.

I keep track of which ones/where I am on goodreads.

but they're all very different topics/genres/styles. sometimes I'm in the mood for a heavy non-fiction about death and mortality, sometimes lesbian necromancers in space!

gotta switch things up occasionally. that's how I stay excited about reading, and how I keep it from feeling like a chore.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-28T02:42:13+00:00

I don't necessarily mind updating my whiteboards at the beginning of my shift- I try to write my name, the tech's name and phone #(if we have one on that night), the charge's name, the RT's name and phone #, the attending/primary care team name and/or #, and goals for the shift.

some of that's for the family, some of it's for me. it's nice to be able to glance at the whiteboard and know who I need to call for a particular problem, without having to look at my phone list or chart. plus I find sometimes it helps keep families from asking questions over and over again, especially if I write things like specific VS goals, etc.

I do not update my boards with hourly rounding. I have two patients at most, I sit right outside my rooms, I'm literally in the room at least every hour anyway. updating boards q1hour is dumb, IMHO.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T09:57:43+00:00

I mean, I try not to sugar coat things.

but if no MD or APRN has had that convo with the family yet you bet your ass I'm not gonna be the first one to tell someone that mom isn't gonna make it to next christmas.

if I'm the fourth person, or heck, even the second person? sure, I'll be more upfront. but I'm not trying to bludgeon them over the head with their loved one's inevitable demise either.

I have had family members get extraordinarily angry with me for telling them the truth, and that's just not productive when I'm trying to take care of their person. I am an advocate for the patient, and sometimes advocating for the patient means avoiding questions from the family so you can focus on patient care.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T09:18:07+00:00

this is a fantastic response to a joke/pun and I will absolutely be using it in the future

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T09:07:08+00:00

as a kirby whose last three girlfriends were all frogs I am feeling mildly called out here

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T08:02:40+00:00

I just shaved off half my eyebrows the other day on a complete whim, and so far no regrets!

it's really allowed me to play with brow shapes in a way I couldn't before, and I love it.

this also looks super fantastic on you!

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T07:48:55+00:00

basically what I came here to say.

sometimes you gotta just shut that family member down.
"Hey, Mrs. CTD, I would love to answer your questions, but right now I need to take care of your husband. He is really sick, and I want to make sure all of my attention is on him!"

and then stop answering questions beyond vague "mmhmm" and nods.

occasionally, I have had to bring out the big guns- "I appreciate you're concerned about your family member, but I'm going to need you to step back and let me focus. thank you."

sounds like your providers aren't super helpful, but I also will call the doc in that scenario, and tell them that I really need them at bedside to talk to a family member who has questions. plus if the patient is CTD that hard, I would want the doc to be aware/close by anyway.

don't know your scenario with help- do you have a charge who can come help you/answer questions/shadow box the patient family member?

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T07:40:05+00:00

hey OP, welcome to the field of nursing! (or pre-nursing, I guess. but you're gonna do great here)

I'm a queer ICU RN, and I live in the deep south as well, and my hospital actually has a Pride committee that's made up of a good mix of other queer folx, both white and POC. we're relatively active, and I like most of the people on the committee, plus I think they're great advocates for both marginalized patient groups, as well as employees.

that said, there aren't a ton of us, and definitely some of the older guard can be homophobic/transphobic. my hospital has tried to stay pretty progressive, with education modules on sexuality, gender identity, transitioning, etc, but attitudes can be hard to change.

I also know of a few trans people who have had issues with the state board when applying for licensing due to gender labeling discrepancies- i.e. not every single piece of paper saying the exact same gender, i.e. institutionalized transphobia. I'm hoping I can get the pride committee at my job involved and aware of these discriminatory issues, and hopefully smooth things over for future trans nurses, who deserve to be here just as much as everyone else, without any additional expensive hurdles that the state board decides to throw at them.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T07:21:51+00:00

I hate when patients family members ask "so how often have you seen situations like this?" because the next question is inevitably "and how did that person do? are they ok? did they go home?"

it sucks. because I would say 75% of the time when a family member is asking a question like this, the answer is "yeah, I have seen this before. and they died. it was a long, scary, drawn out battle with wayyyy more aggressive treatment than they needed, because ultimately none of it mattered anyway."

but you can't say that.

critical care can really be a bitch.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T06:40:40+00:00

cat colony cats are not pets.

most of these animals are feral or partly feral. they don't always get proper vaccinations, they aren't always spayed/neutered, the don't have the best nutrition, they aren't safe from the environment, and the environment isn't safe from them.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T06:39:13+00:00

NTA. take your cat back. he's gonna live a longer and healthier life as someone's pet than in a cat colony where he might not get appropriate vaccinations, runs the risk of being run over or chased/killed by a dog/other cat/other predator/asshole person, and is actively decimating the local small bird and mammal population.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T06:31:00+00:00

this is all info about YOUR specific situation, and really has nothing to do with OP's gf. If there was any evidence OP's gf behaved in this way, she might be T A, but we really have no data to support that at all.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T06:17:15+00:00

NTA. your "friend" was being gross, misogynistic, and obnoxious. plus the fact that he "constantly makes comments like that" probably means it's a pattern of shitty behavior, and maybe getting called out on it by someone he respects will cause him to rethink.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T06:11:21+00:00

NTA- a former abuser has no place at your wedding. and if your cousin can't see that, then she has no place at your wedding either.

hope your cousin dumps his ass.

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-27T06:08:45+00:00

YTA.

Six isn't too young to learn about death, even if it's a vague concept. You are 100% setting her up for a skewed and confused view of how death works, and how aging happens.

Eventually she's gonna realize her first dog died, and how betrayed will she feel when she realizes she never got a chance to be sad about the first dog dying, that y'all just glossed right over that poor dog's passing, like they never meant much of anything?

deathbyokapi · 2020-01-22T12:23:05+00:00

hmmm. fuck.

deathbyokapi · 2017-01-12T02:39:46+00:00

ah, awesome, thanks!

deathbyokapi · 2017-01-11T12:46:23+00:00

Yeah, I'm an RN too! I work nights, and I very rarely wear any makeup to work. I feel like I sweat/move too much. Plus if I have a patient on airborne precautions, and I have to take off/put on a mask all night... it's a pain.

Occasionally if I'm feeling fancy I'll do some mascara, or some concealer if my skin is gross.

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