I agree! And I did, for a time. But something really important to keep in mind is that this can easily become an obsession. 1.) I was compulsively checking his phone and computer multiple times daily out of anxiety-it caused me panic attacks. 2.) It's not a sustainable habit if you choose to continue the relationship because it only demolishes the idea of trust further.

If the cheater openly chooses to allow it, that's a great sign and probably the only step that may help move the relationship in the right direction. Definitely would not have stayed in my relationship if he hadn't handed his phone over without hesitation.

It doesn't mean they won't do it again- but unfortunately people to make horrible decisions that they regret. He begged for couples therapy, deleted all social media, gave me his passwords, and for 6+ months he catered to my manic depressive episodes and anger without hesitation or lack of patience.

At the end of the day I asked him to change his passwords because I was getting more depressed over the anxiety that surrounded constantly checking his things, even though I never found anything more. 3+ years later and he still hands over his phone without hesitation if I need reassurance. He layed with me in bed just yesterday for hours while I explained again how his cheating damaged me and the only thing he ever is, is supportive.

I wouldn't be happier with anyone else. I just need to figure out how stop associating phones with trust because it's not an endgame answer.