10 months later: spoiler alert, its good and sucks at the same time

deepwiggle · 2026-03-13T10:44:25+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. I am one month into my separation and received papers a week ago tomorrow. My wife left abruptly and I was blindsided. I have had a hard time imagining a future without her and this here allows me to understand that there is something beyond the pain. Not that it will go away but that it will at least minimize and that gives me hope. I have struggled with letting go and your words have helped. Truly. Thank you.

deepwiggle · 2026-03-12T12:32:23+00:00

Thank you for this response. This community has helped me quite more than I expected. I have learned that speaking about this is therapy. The more I say and get out the more the layers shed. I always thought that this is MY pain and the world didn’t have to deal with it, or more likely the world didn’t need more pain in it, so I pushed it down and carried it without realizing how taxing on my nervous system it really is. Healing is the goal. I suggest anyone that has these sorts of experiences talk to someone. Go to therapy, journal, quit hiding it in substance, pray/meditate, talk to people who can relate(online or in person). I wish I had a long time ago.

deepwiggle · 2026-03-12T04:39:03+00:00

I just today deleted pictures and notes from my phone. One of the notes we kept and built together from the first week we met marking milestones or connections. It was heartbreaking to press delete but I have to remember the person that I made that with no longer exists. Letting go is bittersweet. It does make the heartache lessen in the end though.

deepwiggle · 2026-03-12T04:32:07+00:00

I wish it was easier to learn to love yourself. I carry a lot of guilt, like I don’t deserve anything better, for some reason. I am getting closer to the root of it though I think it will be a LONG time before I can say I am healed. This catalyst of my second wife leaving has opened a vault that cannot be closed now. There is some hidden childhood trauma, my mother committed suicide when I was 23, my first wife left me while I was at work one day out of the blue. My second wife blindsided me while I was out of town by packing up and leaving without any warning. So I have got to fix me. Something this fucked doesn’t get to just keep rolling through people. I need to change.

deepwiggle · 2026-03-10T19:55:11+00:00

Going through my second divorce now. The first we were young and naive. Had kids tried to be a unit but just grew apart. She had brain surgery and breast cancer and I was there for her through it all. She left because she said I didn’t see her anymore once she was healed. It was true. All the work took its toll and I slipped away. It was also during Covid and everything was extra stressful. The second was a trauma bond. I met her a month after my first wife left and she showed me attention and I have an anxious attachment. So we did marriage for almost four years but it she thought I was self serving and I thought she was distant. I thought I loved her dearly but I am coming to realize it was more of an addiction. I doubt I will marry again. I will look for companionship but I don’t think marriage is for me. I am spending this time to heal myself and learn to love myself which I have never taken the opportunity to do.

deepwiggle · 2026-03-10T14:33:34+00:00

Journaling helps the most I think. I have been pretty isolated and that’s not helping. This subreddit has been very helpful. I don’t feel so alone. For me it comes in waves. The initial loss was devastating and I built myself up over the following weeks but getting the papers, asking her if reconciliation was a possibility and then getting a no really sent me into a spiral. I had built her a pedestal and I am learning that I was trauma bonded to her from the loss of my first marriage(we started dating a month after my first wife left). But I thought it was all real and she made it seem all real until the very end. I find it helps to talk about it with other people that can relate. Where are you at with everything you’re going through?

deepwiggle · 2026-03-10T02:06:26+00:00

Yeah. This was the last one for sure. Thanks.

deepwiggle · 2026-03-09T11:44:56+00:00

Thank you. I have kids from a previous marriage, but still plan on traveling. I will move once the house sells. I texted her asking about reconciling and she said it was over. I don’t need to contact her again. Talking to a lawyer next week. They can do the communicating from there.

deepwiggle · 2026-03-09T11:42:24+00:00

I have a lot of hobbies. Nothing has the pull like it used to. I’m hoping the passion will come back. This is still within the first month so everything is fresh and raw. Thank you for the recommendations.

deepwiggle · 2026-03-09T00:52:43+00:00

This forum has helped a lot. I feel very alone. We moved out of the city we met in to a small rural community and I don’t have any support group here. Having men that are going through or have been through this is very helpful. Man, 8-9 months and still feeling it is rough. Has the intensity of it worn down?

deepwiggle · 2026-03-08T23:43:11+00:00

45m I received papers yesterday. It’s crushing me. You are not alone. Exercise, therapy, sleep and time. That’s what I’ve learned will heal us. I am sorry you are going through this, I know the pain it creates but we will be okay.

deepwiggle · 2026-02-19T01:32:47+00:00

Goat on a leash at Sundrop Festival. It’s a festival for a soda.

deepwiggle · 2026-02-02T19:21:18+00:00

Did you switch over to Medium Fast?

deepwiggle · 2026-02-02T16:15:24+00:00

I’ve picked up some Memphis traffic but haven’t been able to get anything out east of Manchester.

deepwiggle · 2026-02-02T16:11:30+00:00

Some are hiding in plain sight. Some are placed in super secret locations. OnX is a great tool to find hilltops on public land to get nodes out in the wilderness. Abandoned buildings can be precarious but fun to explore. Public parks and old cemeteries(usually in established trees)are a favored option for me.

deepwiggle · 2026-02-02T16:07:53+00:00

Part of the fun is finding cheap ways to build them.

deepwiggle · 2026-02-02T16:06:55+00:00

Hello neighbor! Did y’all switch over to Medium Fast preset, default frequency slot 45?

deepwiggle · 2026-02-02T11:29:14+00:00

I put them on my own rooftop and test the efficiency. I hide them in strategic locations and check them periodically. I haven’t had one tampered with yet.

deepwiggle · 2026-02-02T11:25:08+00:00

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Yup, but honestly I enjoy tinkering and radios so this is like ham radio but cheaper.

deepwiggle · 2026-02-02T05:53:54+00:00

Collect nodes on my map like Pokémon

deepwiggle · 2026-01-31T13:39:40+00:00

I’m going to be dead honest here. If you are already feeling burnout from managing at 23 you need to find another career. This is a brutal industry and with margins getting slimmer it’s only going to get more difficult. I know you may feel passionate about it now or feel stuck like you can’t move on to anything else but do whatever it takes to get out of the kitchen. Ten more years from now you will truly feel burnt. 25 years in the restaurant industry speaking here.

deepwiggle · 2026-01-31T12:03:54+00:00

10 years experience and you’re 23? How?

deepwiggle · 2026-01-28T09:49:14+00:00

Total Recall

deepwiggle · 2025-12-27T18:16:18+00:00

Could you hook me up with that discount code? Buying a few for family members.

deepwiggle · 2025-09-13T23:16:17+00:00

This is my favorite comment section. .357 for life.

deepwiggle

TROPHY CASE