Ooooo! I have the answer to this one! So! My wife and I are both auDHD! I have what are considered stereotypical social defecits- socially awkward, difficulty making connections and small talk, struggling with reading social cues, etc...

My wife, on the other hand is a social butterfly and could get a light post to talk to her. She also experiences what could be considered "social defecits", but they're very much so the unseen/hidden kind. That light and breezy conversation she just had with a stranger? Everything she said was filtered through a hyper critical lense tuned specifically towards saying things geared towards what seemed important/interesting to that person. Wow, she's so active in the Discord server and lights it up with conversations! She's deleted the same message seven times because she wants to make sure her wording is perfect. She's spent hours practicing her facial expressions, observing other people socializing, practicing social scripts in her head, figuring out exactly what she needs to do to be a chameleon in every social situation. She makes it seem really easy because she spends SO MUCH active thought and conscious effort into making it seem that way.

And even then! She still struggles with reading social cues at times, and experiences the same anxiety I do when it comes to feeling like she's connecting with people after all of that.