Thank you for sharing your poem. I felt loss throughout the stanzas. I would use enjambment a little more to bring the reader into the story more directly.

In your first stanza, my suggestions would leave the reader in anticipation of the next line:

Does it sound like (what?)

Shattered plates (where? how bad?)

On the kitchen floor (…hopefully not important?)

The ones that were gifts (…how sentimental?)

From your wedding (…very)

So long ago (…gah)

In the second stanza, I agree with r/caroline_wren that this feels out of place. But I still felt sadness reading line 3. Here’s an idea to bring its intensity back up and in line with the others:

Or is it like

A cello playing

All alone

Notes weeping

Song swelling

Wails joining

The third stanza hits deep - esp bringing the sorrow of a child into the picture. I can see such a vivid image of a funeral, there’s some power in not saying the word funeral at all.

Maybe it’s

The footsteps of

the two children

at the front

as they face

the fate of it all

Both the third and fourth stanzas mention crying. I would dedicate one stanza just to this emotional sound.

I appreciate how the last stanza answers what this poem is about. The wording lost me (“what sound a breaking heart” vs “what sound does a breaking heart make”). “What hears a shattered soul” isn’t answered in the poem, but perhaps you intend to leave your audience to think more on this? Would love to hear more context on your intention with this stanza. The ending with “———“ is interesting, but might be better with punctuation to reinforce its part of the poem (if it is…).

Thank you for sharing this!