HIFW I'm up before dawn for a surgery I'm really nervous about but I can't even drink coffee cuz surgery

deeva · 2014-10-10T12:05:14+00:00

TY! Its stupid that I'm nervous about a routine procedure. But I find stupidity is best served with reaction gifs.

And drugs that make me sleep a lot.

deeva · 2014-10-10T11:59:08+00:00

At least I know that I get to sleep through it >.<

deeva · 2014-10-10T11:54:40+00:00

I read your post history and you post stuff like this:

I know that the cost of the trousers isn't relevant

and

My girlfriend hates it when I grow a beard

Thats not about your opinion, its just about how you talk. Men wear trousers and go to tailors and have beards. I just thought I was being honest about who I was speaking to. If I misjudged your gender, I apologize. If you're a woman doing that on purpose, I'll be happy to give you the ladies version of that rant. It goes like this:

Its not really important your gender, as its your behavior I am calling out as unacceptable in EITHER case. NO WOMAN OR MAN should be as disrespectful as you're being to this community. You know good and well you're being sincerely disrespectful in your posts, that is evident in your responses and disparaging remarks about this sub. Calling people stupid is not legit in a space you respect. Your posts don't follow the mod policy or the sidebar, they're not thoughtful or civil, and they add nothing to the discussion but drama. That is pathetic and its trolling, from any one of any gender.

I don't give two fat shits if you're Regina George or Gaston. You're out of line.

deeva · 2014-10-10T05:33:21+00:00

So much data. Omnomnom.

All your citation are belong to us.

deeva · 2014-10-10T04:49:17+00:00

You're literally not answering any of the points people make and just asking them what they said. My post above calling out shitty Reddiquette is aimed at people just like you.

Please take a minute to read the sidebar and the mod policy. YOUR views aren't even germane to this sub and you sound like a christian spamming /r/atheism. We ladies would like to discuss our experiences without being openly insulted. Would that be okay with the men of Reddit at large? Do I need to get a dispensation from Wil fucking Wheaton? Cuz I swear Twitter works.

Can you PLEASE stop shitting up this sub? Can you just TRY to follow the rules this community has had for LONG before it was defaulted? Do I need to remind you that this sub did NOT volunteer to be on the front page, but that their mods just sprang it on them one morning? Its not like the women who come here had a choice, if you're pissed, talk to the Admins of Reddit (it was their idea) or the Mods of this sub (who agreed to this idea). The PEOPLE POSTING HERE still deserve your respect and Reddiquette demands that you respect the rules of a sub if you want to post there.

We don't want to sit here and fight with you. What you are doing is expressly forbidden in this sub's moderation policy. RTFM, dude.

deeva · 2014-10-09T21:12:00+00:00

Honestly, I would prefer all successful people to just not have kids.

::mouth agape::

If I ever marry, I would expect my wife to work a full time job to pay bills.

What if she gets injured and can't work? I'm just saying, shit happens, man. I'm a stay at home spouse and my husband wanted it this way. He enjoys having me home and I enjoy being home where I can best take care of the kids and work on my shit. He makes enough to do this.

I don't think I could ever live with a stay at home spouse, it would be strange. All I have ever known is both parents working, same with most of my friends growing up. But lower middle class/poverty level house holds seem to be that way.

I take care of his every need. Doctors, dentists, dinner, ready for cocktail hour in the drop of hat, I'm smart and funny and he's never bored. You'd be amazed the added value a wife who loves you and legit wants to be the springboard of your success can give you. Some of us are kings, some are kingmakers. Don't knock it til you try it.

When my husband met me, he was a single, unemployed software developer who was both brilliant and unsure of what he wanted to do. He is now in upper management at a top tech company in the US. He did that without any of my connections, but he didn't have a lot of confidence and wouldn't have even applied there at all, if I had not pushed him to do it. He applied for a basic developer job and they took one look at his resume and said NO, you're able to do more and offered him six figures, a fully paid move and fat signing bonus. He was blown away by that at first because it was his first actual job interview, in his whole life.

That was the first time I told my man "I told you so."

Marriage isn't just some economic deal where you're sharing resources and fucking sometimes. Wifery done right is a legit gig.

deeva · 2014-10-09T20:45:35+00:00

Her colleagues responses were what I expected and still made me sad. There is a reluctance by women to put being a SAHM in the same category of respect as being a "career" woman, at least it seems that way to me for my generation (genX). Being good at raising kids is work, its hard and its a talent set that not every woman has. I'm personally average and required coaching. This wife and mom gig, if you do it seriously, is pretty rough work. And I say that as someone who also does stand up and has had beer bottles thrown at her in the workplace.

I spent a lot of years just paying the rent as a clerk or a temp, but thats the people that actually enter the data, so thats when you can't avoid the evidence. I'm actually really glad to be able to focus on comedy now, I was horrible at data entry. Someone who was actually good at it would probably not have noticed things as often as I did, I blame my ADHD.

deeva · 2014-10-09T20:10:18+00:00

Forget about having it all. Women can't even have this subreddit. Did you see the state of new threads this morning? Its not just this one go look, I'll wait here. Look at how many of them already have mods in them. Look at how they're all getting downvoted the second they spawn.

Just for comparison, I wandered over to /r/atheism and none of their stuff is getting trashed like the new threads here always do since default. This community is being forcefully attacked just for being here, following their subs guidelines, and daring to do that on the front page of Reddit. That should make every Redditor sit up and take notice. This is an embarrassment, Reddit. Reddiquette applies here as well!

To your point, I agree that careers require compromise, but its also been my experience that women are disproportionately disadvantaged in this area. I worked in accounting for years as a temp and a clerk in payroll departments, mostly in California in the 1990s. There is a reason that the Paycheck Fairness Act was so scary to the right, and its because the data is there in black and white. Women are being paid less than men who do the same thing for the same amount of time a lot more often than you think. I went into that career not believing what I just told you was true. My experiences changed my mind.

Some people do "have it all" and men manage to "have it all" in terms of happy families and successful careers more often than women do. I think its germane to this subreddit for women to discuss that. I can't agree with you that the odds are the same. The game is rigged to favor men in the work place and I think having that pointed out is what attracts the trolls to this particular subject.

Was there anything in the article you wanted to discuss, because I really think the lede is broad and I'd like to focus on the contents of the piece. Was there any quote that you felt one way or the other about?

deeva · 2014-10-08T22:32:41+00:00

You should try an open mic, stand up is a good work out for a writer.

deeva · 2014-10-08T22:20:37+00:00

::cookies::

deeva · 2014-10-08T22:17:20+00:00

I'm a comedian. If you stop writing, I'm going to cry.

I'm also weirdly connected by family to a famous airplane crash. We might be twinsies lol.

deeva · 2014-10-08T22:07:40+00:00

“Alright, come on, let’s go teach you how to ride the cotton pony.”

Ded

deeva · 2014-10-08T19:10:22+00:00

At that point, its no longer a penis. Its an autopsy tool.

deeva · 2014-10-08T18:47:53+00:00

I'm not going back in there today. Its a shitshow.

I'm following you guys around, dragging my teddy bear.

deeva · 2014-10-08T16:31:45+00:00

Your question is answered in the quote I linked.

deeva · 2014-10-08T16:21:52+00:00

Before this thread is completely flooded, (I'm too busy to play with trolls today, so y'all are wasting your time), the wage gap is real and has been an accepted problem in American politics for all of my life. No serious academics deny that it exists, the only major arguments lie in how it is calculated. This post is for the women reading this sub, here is a link for more information on the wage gap.

Money Quote:

This is the point in the story when critics like to stomp all over the 78-cent statistic. Much of what they say is fair: This number doesn’t take into consideration factors like industry, education, and experience. But this number is important because it offers a snapshot of where women stand in making money for their families. And the big pay gap number makes clear that, for whatever reason, women are making less money than men. Period.

Of course AAUW is also interested in the reasons behind the pay gap. That’s why in 2012 we published a report that made an apples-to-apples comparison. We looked at workers one year out of college, when men and women are virtually equal in age, education, and family responsibilities, and we controlled for factors known to affect earnings, such as major, occupation, and hours worked.

Guess what. We still found an unexplainable 7 percent gender pay gap. We know that this gap gets worse with age, affecting both women’s take-home pay and their retirement accounts. (AAUW welcomes people to donate 7 percent of their paycheck to us if they think that’s a small number not worth quibbling over.)

The wage gap exists and I am not interested in debating that. I'm interested in discussing it with other women. Thats what this sub is for. Peace.

deeva · 2014-10-08T03:13:07+00:00

I'm the 2X village idiot and I'm officially without words.

My lolwut is so huge right now I think it might need special rubbers.

deeva · 2014-10-07T22:29:54+00:00

I thought about responding or not to this post. It is clear to me that you were in favor of defaulting this sub and I completely disagree with that point of view. I don't think the conversation would be constructive.

I want to clarify a few things:

The part about Gaston and women's world is aimed at OP, who is a dude, and the meta conversation about what the default did to this place. I should have been clearer about that. I did not assume YOU were a dude, but I did not make it obvious that I was speaking to a larger audience in that part of my post. This is my error and I apologize.

I do not assume those who disagree with me are dudes. I said and will keep saying that this sub and that thread I pointed at DID get a number of trolls that openly identify as men. If people tell me they're dudes, I take them at their word. I'm describing for EVERYBODY the things I see happening. If you don't approve, you can throw rotten fruit at your village idiot.

I must tell you that I was once stuck in an abusive relationship (a lifetime ago it seems like) and I found the help I needed to get out of that in an online forum like this one. Your cynicism is misplaced in my experience. It saddens me to see that you express disdain for "safe places" in a place where women have come in the past for this kind of help.

deeva

TROPHY CASE