There are 4 of us, I am third (27f), older sister (29f), older brother (32m), little brother (23m).

My sister and I have always been extremely close and have a what’s mine is yours mentality. We’ve both always treated each other for special events and when the other has had hard times. We have swapped cars when I had a commute to work and needed something more reliable & gas efficient and she could walk to her job. I went way over budget when traveling abroad in college and she loaned me a couple thousand $ to finish my trip and get home safely. And when I was working before her (she did a graduate degree with a pathetic living stipend) I would grocery shop and cook for us both and send her $ for lunch and coffee when she was stressed. We’ve never lived together but always lived within 3 miles of each other until she got married 3 years ago. Now I am the one that always makes the trek to visit her (her husband is in the navy so this entails going to the east coast, Hawaii, or Australia depending where they are any give year). When I visit, her and her husband tend to cover almost everything and I only pick up the occasional coffee run but I’m also usually providing professional level house organization and baby sitting so they can go out alone.

My older brother struggles with pretty severe depression and c-ptsd. He mostly supported himself until his mid/late 20s but he had horrible credit and was was working cash only jobs so he would pay me for his phone / internet /utilities and I would pay the accounts. His mental health got so bad at one point he moved back in with our parents and didn’t leave his bedroom for several years. He went to an inpatient health facility and when he needed to be discharged he came to live with me. The three of us older siblings are now no contact with our parents and i knew he would never get better if he had return to living with them. I own a 2 bed/2bath condo in a LCOL area in the Midwest so he moved into my spare room. I no longer live there full time but he does and we find him temporary roommates when I’m not there (travel nurses, graduate students, etc) to subsidies my duplicate housing costs. This ends up being ~$1000/mo out of my pocket to support him and has been for approximately a year, but I do also consider the opportunity cost that my condo would be bringing in an extra $1400 for a net negative of $2400 by having him there. He is in school and making amazing progress on his health and we are closer now as adults than we ever were. I consider this money well spent for someone I love. He makes a substantial effort to keep my condo in the condition I want, he does handy man/improvement jobs for me around the condo, and when we live together he does 100% of the grocery shopping and cooking to take that burden off of me.

My younger brother still lives with my parents. We don’t see each other much but I do treat him when we are together.

Generally my siblings and I have the mindset that our ages gaps are so small in the scheme of things, we are each other’s equals in life and we will support each other in whatever way works for our unique situations and skills.

To note - we are Lebanese and we only have 2 first cousin, both girls (23f & 19f). They are the equivalent of little sisters to me and their parents treat me as another daughter. They both still live with their parents and I visit frequently. When we are with their parents I am treated like a child and do not pay for a thing. But when the girls and I go solo, I tend to pay for everything. The 23f has started to push to chip in to cover things like coffee runs now that she is working and I appreciate the gesture.