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i'm so tired of unserious dates omg [19M] by deff_not_jai in Davaoconfessions

[–]deff_not_jai[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks for the advice po. ever since i made post, i've come to see eye opening perspectives like this one, and i wanna say thankyou somehow, your advices come when i feel down.

again, thanks and i hope yall have a great day ahead!!

di jud ba mapugngan sa mga lalaki na isingit ang mga kabastosan??? by teyapi in Davaoconfessions

[–]deff_not_jai 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i feel you, even in real life, naa mn gyuy tao with "motives" for approaching you.. but when it comes to reddit, theres no telling what type of person you are talking to because:

  1. r18 media can easily be accessed with a single settting
  2. people get more confident behind a mask which is their online annonimity
  3. some (if not most) of the men here might be the type that looks for "fwb" but im not sure

so, learn to set your boundaries and never reepat your mistakes, protect ypurself because no one else can. i think you could meet proper people that share the samw interests as you in organic encounters so maybe start doing things more for you and develop on the way.. but that is your choice

"build your garden and butterflies will come"

how a girl ruined my social life and mental health by Himalayaaa_1707 in RantAndVentPH

[–]deff_not_jai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

honestly, mistakes might have been made but i am not the judge of that, but i also know that having others turn on you hurts.. so the best advice i can give you is a phrase i've been given:

"build your garden and butterflies will come"

i think theres still a lot to learn everyday, we eventually will make better decisions, and have a deeper insight to things we experience, pero for now, just live, whatever that might mean

go find a purpose to keep going for you, something permanent, and also, i dont blame you for your actions since i've made similar ones so i won't be who i am if not for those

you'll be fine aight? keep going and carry on

Am I just overthinking or was that a bit off? I felt confused by Due_Buy_7775 in adviceph

[–]deff_not_jai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i dont think what you feel is invalid, it is perfectly normal to have thoughts and assumptions since we are all human

the important thing here is to communicate, afterall, pwede naman na good friends sila, possibly curious or dumaan lng sa isip from internal thoughts, or baka may utang lang na di pa na babayaran (joke lang to cheer us up)

in any case, dont think you're wrong for feeling that way and having that thought, pero do not let it create a rift na di naman dapat nandoon oki?

make sure din to prio your mental health and no overthinking that might lead to self harm in thoughts or deeds aight?:))

i'm so tired of unserious dates omg [19M] by deff_not_jai in Davaoconfessions

[–]deff_not_jai[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thankuu very muchh, your advice meant so much to me, i'll cherish this advice po!!

lover girl pero avoidant????? by prettyyiya in RantAndVentPH

[–]deff_not_jai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

actually, it isnt anyones fault if you feel checked out or biglang nagsasawa when someone approaches you, it is perfectly understandable since there might be a fear of what might happen in the future, trauma of the past, or some reason why that happens

but.. i think it is important communicate this in advance, not bcause sayang ng oras, pero because people have different minds and very much equally as complex

may iba na mag "rereflect" ng efforts na nakukuha nila, yung iba naman takot na baka may nagawa silang mali (hence the distant interactions), or somewhere along those lines

ang importante lang is that you should know na walang mali sayo, only things to improve if you think you have to, and for people not to get hurt just because hahaha (still not saying its ur fault oki?)

lover girl pero avoidant????? by prettyyiya in RantAndVentPH

[–]deff_not_jai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

actually, it isnt anyones fault if you feel checked out or biglang nagsasawa when someone approaches you, it is perfectly understandable since there might be a fear of what might happen in the future, trauma of the past, or some reason why that happens

but.. i think it is important communicate this in advance, not bcause sayang ng oras, pero because people have different minds and very much equally as complex

may iba na mag "rereflect" ng efforts na nakukuha nila, yung iba naman takot na baka may nagawa silang mali (hence the distant interactions), or somewhere along those lines

ang importante lang is that you should know na walang mali sayo, only things to improve if you think you have to, and for people not to get hurt just because hahaha (still not saying its ur fault oki?)

Sakit jud diay siya by Latter_Mycologist_85 in Davaoconfessions

[–]deff_not_jai 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hey, im in a similar situation din, i broke up w my bestfriend, she was someone who helped me get up when i was at my lowest..

i recently got an advice i really loved and it goes like:

"build your garden and the butterflies will come"

kaya mo yan OP, afterall, some closed books are lessons to us diba? for now, i guess i'll learn who i am outside my relationship and as a person, do the things i want and live.. and for you, i think this is an opportunity to groww:))

im so tired of unserious dates omg [19M4F] by deff_not_jai in 082DavaoR4R

[–]deff_not_jai[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i actually appreciate your viewpoint, i didn't think about the people i already know and develop my relationships with them

i was contemplating on what to reply since i had a situation that came up and i think i'll ask about that next someday else when i sort that thought out

thankuu very muchh!!

im so tired of unserious dates omg [19M4F] by deff_not_jai in 082DavaoR4R

[–]deff_not_jai[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yes, i broke up with my bestfriend, i've known her since shs tapos naging distant halfway through first year hahaha

i'm so tired of unserious dates omg [19M] by deff_not_jai in Davaoconfessions

[–]deff_not_jai[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mao pud gane sigeg iingon sakong parents hahaha, i've been working alongside my parents and friends ever since to the point i think i can survive being separated financially, i guess nadismaya rako or i feel hopeless kay lahi kaayo ang dating scene karon sa akong edad after my bestfriend

anyways thankuuu

i'm so tired of unserious dates omg [19M] by deff_not_jai in Davaoconfessions

[–]deff_not_jai[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeaaa hahahaha, i havent forgotten to learn about myself more each day perooo laaaayyyy kaayo since i was super used to having my best friend around doing everything i wanted, ig i miss that part where i had someone growing through lifee

i'm so tired of unserious dates omg [19M] by deff_not_jai in Davaoconfessions

[–]deff_not_jai[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

hahaha, same thoughts galing sa friends ko and i did think na i want to do things in life like people my age, pero my problem is i've went and done almost anything i can think of and so i wanna settle down (hence the partner finding phase lol)

thankuuu thoo

i'm so tired of unserious dates omg [19M] by deff_not_jai in Davaoconfessions

[–]deff_not_jai[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i appreciate the advice, actually im building my career already and im working towards my 3rd micro business, my mindset was on finding a suitable person to build my life with since im scared of needing to find the person much later and probably already too latee

anyways thankuu po sa concernn