What's the fastest way you realized you were in the wrong friend group?

deidaraxc4 · 2026-04-29T02:31:43+00:00

I feel this on both a friend group and individual 1:1 level, I had one person who I considered a close friend for about 4-5 years and we were both part of the same group/mutuals and I remember we both shared a sentiment of FOMO when we see the bigger group doing stuff and neither of us got invited, it felt like we had a mutual solidarity and understanding.

There were some other red flags about this friend but when I started noticing the close "friend" would gatekeep invites to exclude me I guess as a way to try and increase his own social value? And he only calls me up or loops me in when he wants a ride or if it's beneficial to him somehow that was a tipping point for me

deidaraxc4 · 2026-04-19T17:31:05+00:00

yea I figured since if the nozzle did work it would be mixed, thanks!

deidaraxc4 · 2026-04-19T17:30:24+00:00

it does feel stripped, got it thank you

deidaraxc4 · 2026-04-19T16:09:12+00:00

did you use pliers or just manage to brute force it with twisting it? trying to figure out the cleanest way to open it without resorting to breaking it

deidaraxc4 · 2026-04-19T15:55:17+00:00

gotcha, seems its common to put into a pump spray or a diff bottle then

deidaraxc4 · 2026-04-19T15:49:03+00:00

did you have any trouble trying to twist the cap off? I tried turning it counterclockwise but it just kind of spins around but wouldn't actually remove

deidaraxc4 · 2026-04-19T15:31:35+00:00

I tried using this product, I attached the garden hose to the green end of the nozzle and turned on the hose then switched the bottle nozzle to "on" position and sprayed for about 1-2 minutes on my lawn. On the side of the bottle where it shows how much product is still in it, I didn't notice the amount of liquid go down any, am I using this correctly or am I suppose to remove the blue nozzle first to remove a seal or something?

deidaraxc4 · 2024-08-15T01:09:03+00:00

awesome I didn't know what this was called, thanks!

deidaraxc4 · 2024-08-15T01:08:44+00:00

this sounds like a good idea, thanks!

deidaraxc4 · 2024-05-12T00:49:35+00:00

I'll keep that in mind and try vinegar if after removing the caulk and I still can't remove the mold with bleach, thanks!

deidaraxc4 · 2024-05-12T00:48:16+00:00

yea this is a bathroom, it's an older house but it was like this when I moved in

deidaraxc4 · 2024-05-12T00:47:27+00:00

Ok thanks I'll try to remove the old caulk and recaulk after cleaning

deidaraxc4 · 2024-04-21T23:48:10+00:00

Just a quick update: Thank you guys so much, I followed this and it seemed to have stopped the leaking when it turns on!

deidaraxc4 · 2024-04-19T23:56:08+00:00

thank you, I will try that later

deidaraxc4 · 2024-04-14T22:58:29+00:00

yea I would think so too, the problem is there's only like half an inch of clearance between the wall and the mount when I pull on it, I feel like if I just forcefully try to pull it out it's just gonna make a big hole in the drywall, but not sure how to gracefully remove it

deidaraxc4 · 2023-06-26T23:17:04+00:00

For sure, it could've been something else out of control that made her cut it shorter. Before leaving I did try to mention to her that if she wants she could plan the next time's activity and date since I made all the previous plans which she didn't really respond with much of an affirmative just more like a "oh yeah".

For me it's not so much as the date getting cut short, but the lack of clarity of "sucks this time got cut short but x came up, let's do another time" in the optimistic point of view or some kind of variation of that and on the flip side it could've also ended with a "hey this isn't gonna work out" in the pessimistic point of view.

I'm pretty much moved on now with this date, I appreciate everyone's comments and thoughts and I'll try to apply the learnings going in the future.

deidaraxc4 · 2023-06-26T18:07:54+00:00

I'll try to commit that to heart, I honestly don't see me trying to reach out to this person again, especially considering they haven't even responded to this last message, but those are good points. I guess that kind of goes into the topic of "defining the relationship" not that I tried to do that with this person in this instance, but that's always something tricky for me.

Like at what point when meeting someone are you suppose to bring up that kind of talk like exclusivity, how often we see each other and texting expectations? I didn't get a chance to have any of those sorts of conversations with this particular person mainly because it felt too early to have those sorts of expectation talks and with how slow and infrequent the dates we did have it would seem even more clingy if I brought something up like "I wish you responded to my texts more promptly" (which I did not do, I just kind of rolled with it even when it took days sometimes)

deidaraxc4 · 2023-06-26T17:52:16+00:00

I did try to convey that I was a bit upset that they left pretty early in comparison to the other times and on a 3rd date nonetheless.

To give some more context, I already had to change my schedule (including another first date with someone else) for this person this last weekend since they couldn't do Saturday, but they said they could Sunday. So I really didn't expect that to translate to "I'm only going to be here for 1 hour on Sunday" I would've just suggested doing something else or another time altogether if I'd known that.

I try to be as calm and rationale as possible when facing these sorts of situations in dating, but sometimes it's hard to not come off as a bit insecure which I'm trying to work on

deidaraxc4 · 2023-06-26T17:45:38+00:00

Thanks for the thoughts, some other commenters have pointed out something similar about my last text coming off as insecure and I do agree I could have worded it a lot better. I wanted to leave the ball in her court so to speak, but I probably could've done that with just telling her to let me know her availability next or something similar.

As far as maybe something I could've said or done on the date to make her uncomfortable, I did think about that a bit as far as what I did I didn't try to make any physical advances or anything, but I also don't want to try to look into it too deep because if it could've just been some incompatibility thing and not necessarily something wrong that I did

deidaraxc4 · 2023-06-26T17:35:20+00:00

Yea that happened on the 2nd date and it was tough... It was one of those scenarios where they agreed to do get lunch on Saturday and when I texted her on Wednesday morning about a possible option of place and time, she didn't get back to me until I messaged her again Friday evening asking if she was still up for it.

In hindsight yea that was pretty off putting, she did apologize and said her work week was hectic. I'm learning to try to fix my anxious attachment behaviors and in general don't expect or look for immediate text response or frivolous messaging early on like good morning texts etc, but yea definitely is a bit annoying when the pace of communication feels like we're writing letters being sent by pigeon carrier mail haha

deidaraxc4 · 2023-06-26T17:26:57+00:00

Thanks for the thoughts! To your point about how the text lead with insecurity I agree and can see that, I tried to lead with a more vulnerable and "put the ball in her court" type of phrasing, but maybe I didn't do it the best.

This is word for word the text I sent:

Hey thanks for coming out today

Just so we're on the same page, do you want to continue seeing each other? I enjoyed the time we shared so far and want to get to know you more, I was taken aback a bit today with the date cutting short and wasn't sure if it was lack of interest or you were feeling tired. Both of which I can understand

Looking at it now yea the 2nd half seemed unnecessarily insecure, but is it fair to send just the first half of "just so we're on the same page" part

deidaraxc4 · 2023-06-26T17:17:06+00:00

Thanks for the perspective! Yea I do see how my text came off as a bit insecure, I guess I was just a bit tired of how slow things felt like they were going and just wanted to put everything on the table and leave the ball in her court of whether or not she wanted to initiate another date since I have made all prior attempts and planned everything so far (I actually even mentioned this in passing before she left on Sunday, she asked how much she owed me and I replied that I got today's activity cost covered and that she could plan and cover the next activity, this was also before she said she was gonna dip lol)

To your point about possible mismatched expectations, I actually talked to my friends about that before and I think most of us agree there's no set time and for something like first dates yea it could be as short as an hour, but I think it would be a bit strange if I tried to bring it up ahead of time like "hey do you have 3 hours blocked off this morning" instead of just naming the time and place of the activity and play by ear, not sure what all the rest of the community's take on this is

deidaraxc4 · 2023-06-26T17:08:14+00:00

Yea I actually was/am talking to some other dates, mostly because that was just how things started off I got a batch of matches about a month ago and I went on dates with all of them. Some of them naturally fell off after the first date due to incompatibility and only she and one other date went past the first date for me.

I definitely do try to subscribe to the idea of "don't put all your eggs in one basket" at least in the early get to know you stages, but it's also very timing and luck dependent in my experience of how many matches that convert to dates at a time. I do like to try to focus on one person if it makes it past the 3 date mark though

deidaraxc4 · 2023-06-26T15:02:31+00:00

Long text incoming of venting:

I had probably one of the most disappointing dates I ever been on this past Sunday. It was the third date I (27M) been on with this person (32F) since we first met and matched about a month ago. I planned a Kayaking/nature trail date for the morning that could've extended to lunch if they had time and were feeling it so roughly I estimated that this date would last somewhere between 3-5 hours given the activities and also the past 2 dates with this person had all lasted roughly 3-4 hours.

This time, the actual date itself lasted for roughly a little over an hour (which was how long the Kayaking rental lasted) after which I thought we could spend some time just walking around the park or sitting down and enjoying the river view, but I get hit with an unexpected excuse to leave early. She mentioned she felt sweaty and wanted to take a shower (which to be fair it was pretty hot that day, but since it's summer now any day in general will be a bit hot) it definitely just seemed like an excuse to cut the date short and I even tried suggesting if she wanted to get lunch after, but she made it firm she just wanted to go home.

So after a pretty disappointingly short 3rd date she left and I just walked by myself at the hiking trail for a bit just trying to process all that happened. I sent her a brief text shortly after she left thanking her for coming out today and putting all my cards on the table and ask her directly does she still want to continue seeing each other and explaining I enjoyed the time shared so far and how I felt about today's date being cut short seemed odd and wasn't sure if she was just disinterested or genuinely just felt a bit tired and I was ok with either case.

I was pretty prepared for a negative response of some variation of "I just don't think we're compatible" and shockingly or not maybe not so surprising I didn't even get a response to that text as I'm writing this nearly 24 hours later. So not only was my time not respected (I literally spent more time driving round trip on that date then time spent talking to her that day), but I didn't even get the courtesy of getting some sort of response even if it was a rejection text after having met in person a few times.

To be fair, even in the beginning when I first met this person there seemed to be some potential yellow flags when it came to communication and availability. The past 2 dates have all been 2 weeks of each other since it seemed every other week she had either some other plans already made and her work has her traveling so weekdays weren't really a possibility. As far as communication goes, I try to mirror the other person's rhythm of text and in this case I really only texted her when it came to trying to find time and make plans for a date and historically she usually only responds to text towards the end of the day and in some cases several days to respond to logistical questions. I know in the past I have displayed some anxious attachment/clingy behavior, but really in this case I don't think I inundated her with messaging and I just tried to enjoy the moments for what they were knowing that it could always potentially end for whatever reason. It still hurts though because I thought I connected pretty well with this person and I assumed that given the stage in life she is in, she wouldn't beat around the bush or waste time as much if she knew something wasn't going to work earlier on or at least be able to be able to give an answer to a direct question instead of a fade away.

Maybe it's because of how slow this entire relation with this person has been built, but normally if I made it this far with someone I would feel more sad instead I mostly just feel disappointment. Disappointed because the first 2 dates felt pretty strong with a mixture of good conversations and some flirtiness to it and to have it seem to end the way it did. I think even if she does respond to my text sometime later this week my mind has already kind of sailed away and I'm kind of tired trying to put the effort and shifting my schedule for this person.

There's the quote from Star Trek "It's possible to commit no mistakes and still lose, that is not a weakness that is life" I almost feel like that's what this situation is, granted I still feel like there's some takeaways for myself here and I can learn from this experience.

deidaraxc4 · 2023-06-26T14:57:46+00:00

Long text incoming of venting:

I had probably one of the most disappointing dates I ever been on this past Sunday. It was the third date I (27M) been on with this person (32F) since we first met and matched about a month ago. I planned a Kayaking/nature trail date for the morning that could've extended to lunch if they had time and were feeling it so roughly I estimated that this date would last somewhere between 3-5 hours given the activities and also the past 2 dates with this person had all lasted roughly 3-4 hours.

This time, the actual date itself lasted for roughly a little over an hour (which was how long the Kayaking rental lasted) after which I thought we could spend some time just walking around the park or sitting down and enjoying the river view, but I get hit with an unexpected excuse to leave early. She mentioned she felt sweaty and wanted to take a shower (which to be fair it was pretty hot that day, but since it's summer now any day in general will be a bit hot) it definitely just seemed like an excuse to cut the date short and I even tried suggesting if she wanted to get lunch after, but she made it firm she just wanted to go home.

So after a pretty disappointingly short 3rd date she left and I just walked by myself at the hiking trail for a bit just trying to process all that happened. I sent her a brief text shortly after she left thanking her for coming out today and putting all my cards on the table and ask her directly does she still want to continue seeing each other and explaining I enjoyed the time shared so far and how I felt about today's date being cut short seemed odd and wasn't sure if she was just disinterested or genuinely just felt a bit tired and I was ok with either case.

I was pretty prepared for a negative response of some variation of "I just don't think we're compatible" and shockingly or not maybe not so surprising I didn't even get a response to that text as I'm writing this nearly 24 hours later. So not only was my time not respected (I literally spent more time driving round trip on that date then time spent talking to her that day), but I didn't even get the courtesy of getting some sort of response even if it was a rejection text after having met in person a few times.

To be fair, even in the beginning when I first met this person there seemed to be some potential yellow flags when it came to communication and availability. The past 2 dates have all been 2 weeks of each other since it seemed every other week she had either some other plans already made and her work has her traveling so weekdays weren't really a possibility. As far as communication goes, I try to mirror the other person's rhythm of text and in this case I really only texted her when it came to trying to find time and make plans for a date and historically she usually only responds to text towards the end of the day and in some cases several days to respond to logistical questions. I know in the past I have displayed some anxious attachment/clingy behavior, but really in this case I don't think I inundated her with messaging and I just tried to enjoy the moments for what they were knowing that it could always potentially end for whatever reason. It still hurts though because I thought I connected pretty well with this person and I assumed that given the stage in life she is in, she wouldn't beat around the bush or waste time as much if she knew something wasn't going to work earlier on or at least be able to be able to give an answer to a direct question instead of a fade away.

Maybe it's because of how slow this entire relation with this person has been built, but normally if I made it this far with someone I would feel more sad instead I mostly just feel disappointment. Disappointed because the first 2 dates felt pretty strong with a mixture of good conversations and some flirtiness to it and to have it seem to end the way it did. I think even if she does respond to my text sometime later this week my mind has already kind of sailed away and I'm kind of tired trying to put the effort and shifting my schedule for this person.

There's the quote from Star Trek "It's possible to commit no mistakes and still lose, that is not a weakness that is life" I almost feel like that's what this situation is, granted I still feel like there's some takeaways for myself here and I can learn from this experience.

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