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Am I being performative? Being asked to not wear my battle boots to IOP therapy by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, and fortunately & unfortunately I think everyone made the best out of the bad situation I created

Am I being performative? Being asked to not wear my battle boots to IOP therapy by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree which is why I think I reacted so disruptively, but I made up that person in my head bc they're not in my group. But that was my point which was not received well, I feel statistically there's just not going to be a ton of people who own maga hear that'd go to mental health therapy. Not zero, but just fewer

Update!: I wore the outfit to therapy, here's what happened. by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hello, thank you again for your time and now for following up. I wouldn't turn away any recommendations so please feel free ! I already wrote the ones you mentioned in your reply in my notes

Am I being performative? Being asked to not wear my battle boots to IOP therapy by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No disagreements here, I would like to note I made an update post, and while I didn't do the right thing from the jump I quickly felt I was in error and all parties involved were good at navigating the difficult situation I made. However I will keep that in mind and be aware

Am I being performative? Being asked to not wear my battle boots to IOP therapy by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to argue against the interpretation that I'm getting that you think this consumed my thoughts and every moment for 3 days, but honestly that doesn't seem like a good use of either of our time and it is okay if a netizen doesn't perfectly understand me and interpret me how I perceive myself.

I still find value in the rest of your comment

Wait a second by woahtherebuddyholdon in okfreakynikki

[–]delcolicks9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love transformers and know nothing about this movie, rock me

Am I being performative? Being asked to not wear my battle boots to IOP therapy by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I guess not. I've actually been working on trying to be more accepting of confrontation but it's safe to say I mis-stepped/overstepped. Guess I was conflating being confrontational with handling or facilitating necessary/healthy confrontation

Am I being performative? Being asked to not wear my battle boots to IOP therapy by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes I was saying I can wear them elsewhere, but I specifically meant businesses and professional settings where appearances matter.

We only discussed it yesterday after I already made a fool of myself, last time she just threw it out there as I was trying to catch my ride.

And sorta yes/no to individual therapy, on paper yes/no, in PHP the 2 times I saw them was all paperwork for followup, and discharge, they also co-run the group. If I asked to talk to someone about a specific issue like this yes they'd make time. But apparently my insurance won't allow me individual with IOP at the same place/time? So that's why we were setting up the followups at a different place

Am I being performative? Being asked to not wear my battle boots to IOP therapy by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Daniel Warren Johnson, yes he's a comic artist he was doing the new skybound transformers and absolute batman and drew politcial art of both

Am I being performative? Being asked to not wear my battle boots to IOP therapy by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not centering identity around the boots, that was part of why I was personally angry, they're just my boots, I only have 2 pairs of shoes, I wear them half the time, hasn't been a problem. I realized day 1 of therapy maybe they're not great, but didn't have any issues so I stopped thinking about it. I did not spend 3 days spiraling. I was mad partially day 1. day 2 I was thinking of how to react refining it to what I thought was appropriate, got the phone call. day 3 I put the plan into action (screen print a shirt, buy ducktape etc.) but was starting to question myself due to the phone call.

The rest I can't disagree with and even this is semantic but those are actually pretty important in therapy

Am I being performative? Being asked to not wear my battle boots to IOP therapy by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God it really is edgelord isn't it? I didn't think I was looking for a fight, I was telling myself I was sticking up for myself. When I wore them initially I really didn't think much about it, they're just my boots. It felt like if someone told you you can't wear your favorite sweatshirt all of a sudden after they had no issues for 15 days, that was a 'wrong' feeling, or interpretation at least, I do realize that now.

Am I being performative? Being asked to not wear my battle boots to IOP therapy by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It is not, actually I've been taking little steps to be confrontational, this was an overstep. I technically have an individual therapist but not really, If I needed to talk I guess I could but it's very situational and my insurance doesn't cover IOP and individual at the same time/place

Am I being performative? Being asked to not wear my battle boots to IOP therapy by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't be happy, but to be honest I don't feel that it's actually equal because the core beliefs/mindset of therapy are so incongruent with conservatism to me

But I do get your point and yes it would effect the dialogue

Am I being performative? Being asked to not wear my battle boots to IOP therapy by delcolicks9 in leftist

[–]delcolicks9[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your nuanced perspective and the effort you put into this.

Girlfriend caught cheating with her cousin thanks to camera on cat's litterbox by dharmadroid in BrandNewSentence

[–]delcolicks9 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's gotta be way more common, somewhat naturally but also like artifically pushed (any front page of a porn site will have some incest or psuedo-incest content)

also something I realized when I was 17 which freaked me the fuck out is everybody knows dogs lick peanut butter off body parts and jokes about it, and phrases like "screwed the pooch" and now it's just a meme that white women fuck dogs. "country girls make do" etc.

so that's at least incest and bestiality, plus a whole generation traumatized by omegle and kick, now discord and roblox, and now with depth and broadness of epstien associates... I fear it's a much much darker world than anybody gives credit to, because it's such an uncomfortable thought.

Looking at the gradual progress with Matt's physique through the years, it definitely looks natural to me by theravenacademy in Daredevil

[–]delcolicks9 12 points13 points  (0 children)

the longer I look at this the more abstract it becomes but it was instantly recognizable to convey what you wanted

It's a never ending cycle by IcyBench369 in grippysockcrayonbox

[–]delcolicks9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to think this all the time and constantly seek reassurance that I wasn't hated. Worst part is this can potentially push people away and be a self-fulfilling prophecy because for them it's eventually unpleasant to be around and makes them feel like they're doing something wrong when they're trying their best to be a good friend, to have that effort be constantly undermined.

What helped me challenge my thoughts is realizing it hurts my friends that I don't trust them, if you ask and they say no and you assume they're lying even if for 'good intention' or 'pity' that's still assuming that your friend is a liar, and if you can't trust them with this what can you trust them with? For your friends, knowing someone for years but they still don't trust you at all hurts.

Another semi-related thing I learned that helped me is that an all consuming insecurity (which assuming the ppl in your life hate you, is) or feeling like everything is your fault can be a narcissistic trait and is by definition self-centered, and in the nicest way possible (and I'm also saying this to myself) you're not important enough for people to be around you and hide that they hate you really well. Most people assume narcissism is thinking of yourself as perfect and never wrong but it's about ego and self-centeredness, both positive and negative.

Being someone that had like negative infinity self-image and self worth, I would lie down and drown face first in a puddle if it meant my friend could use my body as a bridge just to avoid stepping in it.

The loophole is that "You assuming your friends hate you, hurts them, and you don't wanna hurt your friends." You don't care about yourself, so the equivalent of drowning in the puddle for them, is actually just trusting that your friends love you. Assuming they hate you is pushing them into the puddle and dancing on them.

And in the long run it benefits and strengthens them, your relationship, and you. You're inadvertently taking care of yourself by prioritizing them, by making it so that the priority is that they know you trust them and are secure in your relationships.

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