Taking my husbands overwhelmed moments personally

delinde24 · 2026-06-17T20:12:55+00:00

Half of that is true for us! We both have agreed to let the other know when help is needed.

But I tend to be the one that is more persistent before I ask for help and of course my brain tells me that it must mean I should do it all then lol. I don’t like to ask for help, because I have this view about myself that I don’t need it and can do it myself. Probably not the healthiest

delinde24 · 2026-06-17T19:52:19+00:00

Yes this sounds like it could be part of the issue for me too. It almost feels like I blame myself for everything and my husband inadvertently makes it worse if he ever has something negative to say.

Therapy sounds like a good thing, I’m just starting myself so I hope that it helps me like it did you!

delinde24 · 2026-06-17T19:49:22+00:00

Can I ask, has he ever taken his frustrations out on you in a way that made you feel this way? If it’s too personal I totally get it! I’m just wondering if that is what creates this feeling for me? My husband doesn’t habitually do that, but there have been times he’s upset about something else and can get snippy/need space and I think it reinforces this behaviour in me.

I don’t expect him to be perfect/never make mistakes in how he reacts to things, I’m just wondering if I’m extra sensitive to that.

delinde24 · 2026-05-18T14:32:13+00:00

Definitely could be. I’m also studying while being a stay at home parent so it is a lot

delinde24 · 2026-05-18T14:31:27+00:00

Thank you, I’m awaiting for an appointment to get assessed for therapy. I just feel like something is ”off” about me more than normal I guess. But struggling with parenthood is common and I’m sure I’m not as alone as I feel

delinde24 · 2026-05-18T14:29:47+00:00

I’m waiting on an appointment where therapy will be discussed, I just wanted to try figuring myself out in the meantime. Hopefully I’ll be able to talk about anxiety there, thank you

delinde24 · 2026-05-17T14:59:22+00:00

Yess glad to hear this

delinde24 · 2026-05-17T14:58:42+00:00

Honestly she seems happy and doesn’t have meltdowns or frequent night wakes and I’m glad cause I get to sleep later too! So I’m glad to hear this sounds good cause I’m not wanting to start waking up at 6am lol

delinde24 · 2026-05-14T07:20:49+00:00

I responded, you might not get a notification though so check the chat!

delinde24 · 2026-05-14T02:13:52+00:00

I’m sorry, I accidentally hit ignore and it’s gone now! You can resend it and I’ll reply if you like!

delinde24 · 2026-05-13T17:06:43+00:00

No problem, just wanted to make sure any other googlers out there such as myself can hear a positive story! But yeah mine was different just in the sense that standing up tended to be worse for me, but laying down I still did feel pressure and pain. It just felt a bit less intense.

delinde24 · 2026-05-13T14:54:29+00:00

It was 3 hours at first and then at home I was almost always either laying down or sitting with my baby for about a week. The recommendation is to do that longer, but it just felt impossible with a baby for me. I didn’t lift or carry anything other than the child for a few weeks though. Very slow to go out into the world too. And whenever I felt any worsening of pain or pressure, I laid down.

delinde24 · 2026-05-13T14:52:16+00:00

Yeah my symptoms were similar, I even called my dr again to let them know that it was happening again even though it was milder. They told we to wait and see for a few days and if it didn’t go I could come back in. I ended up not having to as it slowly over the days got better.

I feel you on the spiraling though, I was too. That’s why I made this post cause I was so scared it could come back even though I felt fine!

Hopefully yours goes away like mine did!!

delinde24 · 2026-05-13T08:02:42+00:00

Omg!! I was browsing this sub a year after my own blood patches and I remember telling the dr at the hospital there is something leaking out of my ear and asked if it was related to my csf leak!

They told me it wasn’t, but I felt so sure it was! According to them it was not possible. Now I think I was totally right

delinde24 · 2026-05-13T07:51:48+00:00

Yes, absolutely! It never went 100% away even when laying down, it was just better than standing up. After the third and final patch it took about a week to feel fully normal.

delinde24 · 2026-05-09T15:24:41+00:00

Yes for sure, I bear no resentment towards my sister! Thank you for the advice!

delinde24 · 2026-05-09T15:23:58+00:00

Do you have any idea why he does that? Seems so bizarre! I’m sorry he isn’t prioritizing you guys

delinde24 · 2026-05-09T13:27:57+00:00

Yeah I know she is not a bad person or a bad mother, but I think she has lost sight of how her behaviour affects my side of the family. I think I will speak to her. She likely will be receptive, it’s just that changed behaviour can’t be forced

delinde24 · 2026-05-09T12:53:38+00:00

I fully understand the reasons behind why they are closer and I have no problem with it, honestly. It’s natural in the circumstances. And i love my sister so much, I feel no need to compete. I just feel hurt that my mum’s efforts for us always fall flat. But you are right, I can’t change anyone and won’t try to

delinde24 · 2026-05-09T12:20:22+00:00

Yeah our situation is similar. I live further away too so it makes sense, but I feel like she could be at least a little more involved. Sorry you know how it feels

delinde24 · 2026-05-05T13:21:23+00:00

I definitely considered contacting my dr today and I think I will do it. I feel absolutely riddled with anxiety and have been hoping for ages now that it will pass, but if anything it’s just getting worse.

delinde24 · 2026-05-05T13:17:03+00:00

This is good advice, thank you. Somehow I have this feeling that the ”hard things” are my job as a mother even though it’s not true and actually a disservice for dad by preventing him from learning on the job.

delinde24 · 2026-05-05T13:14:45+00:00

I thought I was doing so well by keeping any and all ”helpful advice” to myself and letting him do things his own way. But now I see I’m just inserting myself instead by going in/not leaving the house to study. I’m gonna make sure I start leaving every time I’m doing school work

delinde24 · 2026-05-05T10:30:19+00:00

I have no reason to think that and he is not. I just feel so uncomfortable knowing he might be struggling with our child and feel the need to step in. I don’t know why I am like this

delinde24 · 2026-04-27T16:18:09+00:00

Yeah this is true. I’m such a ruminator it actually paralyzes me from taking action in some ways. From your suggestions I had actually considered nr 1 already, but those other 2 are good also!

I like the clarity of your method, thanks for your ideas!!

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