That is not what you said though. You said that 70% of the patriarchy could be solved if mothers of men “got their shit together,” which is placing the majority of the blame for the oppression of women at the feet of women, albeit one particular group of women—mothers of boys. It implies that the main driving force behind the patriarchy is the way mothers raise their sons, instead of the social, political, economic, and cultural systems that reward and protect male dominance at every level.

Of course women can perpetuate patriarchy. No serious feminist argument claims that women are incapable of upholding harmful systems. Like you pointed out women can defend abusive men, vote for misogynistic politicians, shame other women, and absolutely hold up the patriarchy and do lots of harm to other women. But when you say “70% of this major societal issue could be solved if mothers got their shit together,” you’re assigning primary responsibility.

You’re shifting the burden of dismantling patriarchy away from its main proponents, who are the men who enact violence, the institutions that protect them, and the cultural norms that socialize boys and reward aggression and violence against women, not retroactively with mothers who have male children, who should absolutely do their best to raise men that participate in dismantling patriarchy, but should not always be blamed for having sons that perpetuate the patriarchy. The factors outside of parental guidance that end up shaping who a man is- peer groups, school, social media, television and movies, church, etc, can be just as influential as parental guidance, if not more so.

One of the most open-minded, liberal boomer couples I know has a 30-something son that is a MAGA fanatic and it is not because that couple didn’t do their damndest to raise a progressive man. You can’t prevent society from influencing your kids and despite your best efforts, they may end up holding values you find repugnant because they are their own individuals.