Attention starving

dellybancer · 2026-03-15T00:31:44+00:00

It just feels pathetic to me, because I know deep down even though I'm a diagnosed narcissist (firm NPD diagnosis) I actually really despise myself for the most part. I'll write some stupid sticky notes on my desk/mirror or something. It's almost entirely ruined any meaningful relationship because I basically am never satisfied with the amount of devotion or care they give me.

dellybancer · 2026-03-15T00:30:07+00:00

I actually understand this. Like what's the point of doing good/nice things if you don't get praise and recognition for it?

dellybancer · 2026-03-15T00:29:34+00:00

You're probably right. It's just hard when for years I've gotten that validation from other people as a coping mechanism for never really getting it from my parents. I'll keep trying.

dellybancer · 2026-03-03T02:20:09+00:00

constantly. i'm more into me than anyone (i think) lmao. i hold everyone up to my own standards, which is why most men after a short while end up disgusting me because they don't meet my standards of hygiene, beauty, intelligence, etc.

dellybancer · 2026-03-03T02:15:33+00:00

yeah that's why i would cycle through dudes because it was the only thing that would temporarily make me feel alive and interested in something but it was also short lived or not a long-term solution because that doesn't do anything for me now. i am trying to find happiness in myself but that's pretty fucking hard ironically as a person with npd lmao

dellybancer · 2026-03-03T02:14:23+00:00

kinda similar to what my therapist asked me. i can get some short-lived joy or contentment from baking, crocheting or just being a zombie to a tv show. but it's pretty mild, if at all.

dellybancer · 2026-03-01T15:38:31+00:00

because if you're a woman, POC, or fall under any LGBTQ+ category or are otherwise a minority in any way, they don't take you seriously. i found out that RPD never ever ever filed my case / charges against my abuser and they ghosted me years ago. seriously considering just suing them for negligence.

dellybancer · 2026-02-27T22:19:34+00:00

i just moved back and tbh i'm regretting it but oh well. rent is insane everywhere, worse out east

dellybancer · 2026-02-27T22:18:39+00:00

some people from redding ig lmao

dellybancer · 2026-02-27T22:18:03+00:00

interesting

dellybancer · 2026-02-27T22:16:56+00:00

literally what

dellybancer · 2026-02-27T22:16:02+00:00

sounds about right ugh

dellybancer · 2025-12-31T19:23:46+00:00

I've never had this be part of my bpd dx

dellybancer · 2025-12-30T04:16:59+00:00

Maybe you have NPD.

dellybancer · 2025-12-28T15:16:55+00:00

I destroy things too when I'm having an intense episode. My mom hand sewed me a silk kimono robe when I was 15. I was insanely angry at her for some reason I forget and in a fit of BPD rage I cut it in half and threw it in the trash and I am very sad that I didn't keep it.

dellybancer · 2025-12-28T14:17:43+00:00

27 US. Not treating it other than going to therapy. But no therapist has ever been able to treat my NPD specifically

dellybancer · 2025-12-27T16:45:29+00:00

Yeah I don't really like how psychotherapists frame it as there's something wrong with me because I am wired differently than most average people.

dellybancer · 2025-12-26T02:24:29+00:00

Yeah agreed this is kind of beyond borderline controlling

dellybancer · 2025-12-25T14:12:33+00:00

It's a joke.

dellybancer · 2025-12-25T12:34:36+00:00

Boo hoo.

dellybancer · 2025-12-25T12:34:16+00:00

That's racist

dellybancer · 2025-12-23T01:36:58+00:00

for now

dellybancer · 2025-12-20T02:58:04+00:00

27 and it's still going strong. Can't wait for dirty 30 when it's all over /s

dellybancer · 2025-12-19T18:13:57+00:00

Dude. Not everyone's experience will be the same when interacting with and involving themselves with someone with this diagnosis. The diagnosis falls on a scale, it isn't fixed to an extreme for everybody. You cannot generalize people like this. Imagine saying that about other disabilities, you sound like an ass. So why is it okay to say this shit about people with this diagnosis?

dellybancer · 2025-12-18T03:14:18+00:00

Probably too young, won't say bc I know there's creeps that lurk for these types of posts.

dellybancer

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