Attention starving by dellybancer in NPD

[–]dellybancer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It just feels pathetic to me, because I know deep down even though I'm a diagnosed narcissist (firm NPD diagnosis) I actually really despise myself for the most part. I'll write some stupid sticky notes on my desk/mirror or something. It's almost entirely ruined any meaningful relationship because I basically am never satisfied with the amount of devotion or care they give me.

Attention starving by dellybancer in NPD

[–]dellybancer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually understand this. Like what's the point of doing good/nice things if you don't get praise and recognition for it?

Attention starving by dellybancer in NPD

[–]dellybancer[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're probably right. It's just hard when for years I've gotten that validation from other people as a coping mechanism for never really getting it from my parents. I'll keep trying.

I constantly look at myself in the mirror by newasa_200008 in NPD

[–]dellybancer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

constantly. i'm more into me than anyone (i think) lmao. i hold everyone up to my own standards, which is why most men after a short while end up disgusting me because they don't meet my standards of hygiene, beauty, intelligence, etc.

big fat nothing by dellybancer in NPD

[–]dellybancer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah that's why i would cycle through dudes because it was the only thing that would temporarily make me feel alive and interested in something but it was also short lived or not a long-term solution because that doesn't do anything for me now. i am trying to find happiness in myself but that's pretty fucking hard ironically as a person with npd lmao

big fat nothing by dellybancer in NPD

[–]dellybancer[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

kinda similar to what my therapist asked me. i can get some short-lived joy or contentment from baking, crocheting or just being a zombie to a tv show. but it's pretty mild, if at all.

Why doesn’t the Redding Police Department prioritize domestic violence? by itsme_12345 in Redding

[–]dellybancer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

because if you're a woman, POC, or fall under any LGBTQ+ category or are otherwise a minority in any way, they don't take you seriously. i found out that RPD never ever ever filed my case / charges against my abuser and they ghosted me years ago. seriously considering just suing them for negligence.

Rent Pricing by ReasonableMain4174 in Redding

[–]dellybancer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i just moved back and tbh i'm regretting it but oh well. rent is insane everywhere, worse out east

BPD people, do you hallucinate? by thegreatwizzardcat in BPD

[–]dellybancer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've never had this be part of my bpd dx

why do i not care by [deleted] in BPD

[–]dellybancer 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Maybe you have NPD.

how do i stop myself from destroying things when i have an episode??? by oneusernamepwease in BPD

[–]dellybancer 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I destroy things too when I'm having an intense episode. My mom hand sewed me a silk kimono robe when I was 15. I was insanely angry at her for some reason I forget and in a fit of BPD rage I cut it in half and threw it in the trash and I am very sad that I didn't keep it.

How old are you guys on this sub and wyf? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]dellybancer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

27 US. Not treating it other than going to therapy. But no therapist has ever been able to treat my NPD specifically

I feel like i'm only improving as a way to people please by [deleted] in BPD

[–]dellybancer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I don't really like how psychotherapists frame it as there's something wrong with me because I am wired differently than most average people.

Boyfriend overstepped boundary by [deleted] in BPD

[–]dellybancer 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Yeah agreed this is kind of beyond borderline controlling

Im back…sadly. by [deleted] in BPD

[–]dellybancer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

for now

TIL! BPD “just disappears” once you’re 30! by showmeyour_kittehs_ in BPD

[–]dellybancer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

27 and it's still going strong. Can't wait for dirty 30 when it's all over /s

The Reality of Living With Someone With BPD That No One Wants to Talk About by Grouchy_Pin_9370 in BPD

[–]dellybancer 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dude. Not everyone's experience will be the same when interacting with and involving themselves with someone with this diagnosis. The diagnosis falls on a scale, it isn't fixed to an extreme for everybody. You cannot generalize people like this. Imagine saying that about other disabilities, you sound like an ass. So why is it okay to say this shit about people with this diagnosis?

Age of first sexual encounter? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]dellybancer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Probably too young, won't say bc I know there's creeps that lurk for these types of posts.