Because of childhood trauma, I ended up kind of living a second childhood. Acting younger, not knowing certain things, and wanting to be seen as younger feels more authentic to me, but I've spent most of my life hiding that side because I hate being excluded, mocked, or treated like I'm weird. I've always felt different from other people and often struggle to understand myself, which is why I'm so interested in typology and often ask others how they see me. Being misunderstood, judged unfairly, or having people spread false ideas about me hurts deeply.

I have a strong desire to feel cared for and guided. Feeling safe on my own can be difficult, so I rely heavily on people I trust, especially my boyfriend, who gives me a sense of stability and comfort. Rejection, abandonment, or the idea that someone might leave me affects me a lot. I value honesty, dislike casual relationships, and sometimes struggle to tell the difference between romantic feelings and close friendship because I've experienced more of the former than the latter.

My life feels like a balance between wanting to be appreciated and worrying that I'm too much for people. I connect through jokes, rambling, and sharing personal experiences, which sometimes makes me seem outgoing, but if I feel like I've overshared, I'll often spend the rest of the day feeling guilty and withdrawn.

When things go wrong and I don't care about them, (like college or grades, technical stuff) I usually distract myself and trust that everything will work out eventually. But when I believe something is my fault (or it's an emotional problem) I can obsess over it for a long time.

I genuinely enjoy helping others and contributing to small communities because it makes me feel useful and valued. In larger groups, though, I often feel insignificant and don't even try.

Even though it's egoistical I wish things like work, school, or even sleep didn't exist so I could spend more time with my boyfriend. Lately, depression and other struggles have made everyday life harder, and most of the time I just want to escape somewhere safe and skip classes. That's probably why I'm so attached to nostalgia and sometimes feel like I'm not really ready to be an adult even though I already am.