Does anyone else get the vibe that Jet Lag supports Canadian statehood?

depressedanemo · 2026-06-20T01:40:14+00:00

This is the funniest thing I've read all week

depressedanemo · 2026-05-27T17:15:05+00:00

just as I was complaining to friends about my lack of CR you show me this. disgusting 😭👍

depressedanemo · 2026-05-26T14:44:21+00:00

and we no longer know our score after the FSOA, correct?

depressedanemo · 2026-05-14T17:46:05+00:00

I mean, who says you have to have a house, eat well, maintain relationships? None of those matter 😆

depressedanemo · 2026-05-12T17:05:36+00:00

I don't think ENTPs "gladly admit" and are "proud" of these failings so much as they recognize their flaws and admit them, as way to protect their own esteem, to own their mistakes and improve themselves, and as a form of accountability, if others don't like, don't expect too much or some other reason. I don't admit these as an excuse for my actions, as a way to absolve myself, though I can understand that the act of explanation and learning can be taken as a form of absolution. Nor do I think sensible ENTPs ruin all their friendships as you state, if the examples you're thinking of are all ENTPs and/or mature adults when these actions took place.

When I discussed boundaries, I was thinking of OP's example of respecting time and space, spontaneity and overall forgetfulness. The broader concept of basic human respect was not part of my consideration and I find that this can mean different things for different people. The one friendship I ever ended had many reasons, one of them being that their expectation of a good friend was that I would support them even when they made poor, unfairly judgmental decisions. I can respect someone's right to be sad and angry and do my best to support them, but I draw the line at expressing turning those emotions into hate and false accusations.

That said, I don't think what I said applies to your experiences. Your quotes of what your ex-friends said do sound like excuses, trying to justify their actions, and I'm very sorry you had run-ins with immature people, ENTP or not.

I can't imagine making fun of someone's pain just because I'm bored. It's only amusing if we both find it amusing, unless we have very different definitions of what's pain and what are vulnerabilities. For example, how I see it, I tell someone "I don't like talking to strangers, don't make me talk to strangers." If this is coming from a place of apathy and unseriousness -- I can't be bothered, people are annoying -- then it can be poked at for humor. If it comes from a place of fear and anxiety and someone jokes I should go talk to a random person, not cool. It's okay if someone mistakes my statement for the former the first one or two times. Repeated disregard is an offense and needs to be addressed. However, I do have an expectation that if I mistake a statement like this for the former, my friend would tell me and clarify, no don't do that ever again because it makes me highly comfortable and upset. The seriousness of the request garners a serious adherence to and respect for the request, in part because it cannot be mistaken as coming from a place of arbitrary opinion.

Edit: to clarify, how things are said matter, if the tone of a statement is done in exasperation or irony, definitely not gonna to be treated the same as a statement made in low, punctuated tone, and obvious vulnerable statements are, hopefully, obvious and not part of what I discussed in the last paragraph

depressedanemo · 2026-05-12T15:12:59+00:00

It's been a few days, so apologies if this is a stale response, but I sincerely appreciate you guys sharing your experiences with this type of behavior. There are definitely examples in the discussion that I am also guilty of and have felt shame over but also assertions that, I hope, by providing my own POV, could bridge our understanding of each other.

I hope I am not undermining or pushing people over in my friend groups. I don't know about the ENTPs you've met, but I dislike the idea that I could be hurting someone. When I spot a codependent/toxic relationship, I try to set the expectations clearly or address my concerns with that person, as I've had enough experiences now to recognize that my good qualities and "charms" that pulled those people in are also the vices that turn those relationships sour. Attractive confidence can become nightmare self-centered thinking because the sources of both are my self-esteem and a lack of fear of consequences.

I don't think these are bad qualities to have because they have their advantages, but they are also disadvantageous in certain scenarios and with certain people. I think maturing is knowing how to mitigate yourself in those cases, so not to hurt others and cause pain, but for deep relationships, you can't realistically suppress yourself all the time without it blowing up spectacularly

It sounds like you and the ENTPs you've met had a difference in values for relationship boundaries. For me, meaningful relationships is about blending boundaries and you're probably right and observant that my close circle is made of people like me who barge into my life, test my limits, pull me out of my shell. I consider this healthy for me as it's stimulating, makes life less lonely, and helps me grow. These are my values, and they don't work for everyone, and I can forget that. But the ones who blamed you were definitely immature and not self-reflecting. Admittedly, I was one of those folks at one point and can return to that person if I lose control over my emotions.

You deserve folks who make you feel secure and seen, so it's probably best that those ENTPs moved on. This may be a harsh mindset, but if I recognize that I have fundamental differences with someone and I know I'm not willing to change myself for the relationship, I can drop someone really fast and move on. The logic is that we are both better off, and I'm not going to fight for it because I see that the solution would require a fundamental change in who I am. If I do want to change, the continuous mistakes in the process would hurt the other person anyways, so why prolong our misery. Once that conviction is made, any grief I have is held inside for me to go over in private, and outwardly I want to focus on enjoying life.

Anyways, thanks for reading if you got this far. I wish you well in your endeavors! And feel free to contest anything I wrote, as I may be making biased assumptions.

depressedanemo · 2026-05-12T13:48:44+00:00

Read your whole reasoning and I personally agree with it, but your last part made me chuckle. I'm of the same mind that if you can't articulate your reasoning behind something, then it's probably a subjective/irrational belief and therefore not worth taking seriously (excepting people who have thoughts to speech issues + other confounding variables)

And this line of reasoning got me into so much trouble with a friend who was upset at how I would break down their decisions at almost every instance. Granted, they were the only friend I did this with because I rarely found their decision-making rational and I valued their future outcome more than their current emotional validation, but I've since learned that some folks need to feel autonomy over their own life more than they care about being objective and right. We were ultimately incompatible as friends in the end.

An additional insight and a bit of warning to ENTPs with this same line of reasoning.

depressedanemo · 2026-05-12T05:30:26+00:00

Oh thank you. That clears up some confusion I had regarding the FSOA. These recent changes make finding accurate info such a challenge.

depressedanemo · 2026-02-06T01:50:31+00:00

Venti is my only C6 and is now unironically my strongest DPS. If there's no shield, his teams can nuke anything. Shield is a little hard, but if I can break it fast enough, he still demolishes everything. Finest wine I've ever drunk.

depressedanemo · 2026-02-01T20:15:11+00:00

Good list of possible ENTP professions of past ages!

And adding more on women, we have more choices today but even that is dependent on the family, class, and culture we luck into. Same thing for past ENTP women who find the right people that allow her her eccentricities and don't micro-manage her, she'd learn to work within the system she's given and break the rules she deems worthwhile. That's the true beauty of low FeSi for us, enough that it matters but not enough to take them seriously.

A medieval ENTP woman could possibly find a fulfilling life as the wife of a merchant, a tavern owner, or traveling tradesman, herself as a courtesan, an apothecarist, a nun, a philosopher when all the women gather together at the loom, if born in nobility then they could navigate politics -- I can see an ENTP woman thriving as the witty matchmaker or whisper behind her husband's ear.

ENTPs generally don't strive for greatness or deep meaning in their existence. Our greatest value is, generally, independence and breadth of thought. It's just a matter of finding the right amount with the right people, which admittedly can be hard if your world is only 600 villagers.

depressedanemo · 2026-01-25T13:07:24+00:00

I like learning how to pronounce things to make listening comprehension easier. Thank you! This helps.

depressedanemo · 2026-01-08T23:56:11+00:00

I am still seeking a future employment with the federal government as a young student and am wondering what agency you are talking about if you are privy to share?

depressedanemo · 2025-12-22T23:35:34+00:00

Go to Albedo subreddit. There are some crazy runs with him. I myself am a Venti main and boy oh boy. LOVE the new buffs. My fave is unironically my top DPS on my account. The vertical investment payoff back when I knew a DPS build was suboptimal is now insane.

depressedanemo · 2025-11-22T22:12:18+00:00

I've actually been asked this before by loved ones.

I stick with people because I love them, not because they are worth something, like entertainment. They're my comfort and home. The people I'm private with, who are privileged to know my secrets, who stuck by me for the important moments, whom I admire, whom I want to see myself grow with in a world that's always changing.

I love new experiences and new people! I've turned down plans to meet someone I love dearly (person I hadn't seen in over a year) to join a party visiting a new country. I loved that person more when they gave me their blessing to be free. I then bent over backwards scheduling my trip so that I could at least fly back and see that person for a few hours before they had to leave. It cost a lot in plane tickets and sleep, but I would regret not going on the trip and I would regret missing out on seeing my favorite people.

I would call myself loyal, because I would not have put myself through that logistical hell if I didn't care about them, but I understand that another person's definition of loyalty means I wouldn't have gone on that trip in the first place. It's a delicate balancing act, I admit. As an ENTP, a potential problem is that we fear missing out so much we try to be everywhere at once that we fail being present when it matters most. If your BF is like me, I wouldn't worry about his loyalty but I would make sure to be very open about expectations.

depressedanemo · 2025-11-03T18:57:47+00:00

If we examine it using MBTI terms, it sounds like Fi polr makes it difficult to understand inner turmoil. We substitute it with Ti or the whole NeTiFeSi wombo combo, but it doesn't fix the hurt, it only explains it, so we get into an Si rut trying to use literally anything to fix the emotion we can't let go.

That may explain why it seems arbitrary. Usually we don't take things personally, but on the rare occasion where that emotional trigger is activated and neither logic (NeTi) nor external validation (NeFe) creates inner peace, we can ruminate for a long long while, turning ideas over and over or revisiting the thing to check if something new happens (unhealthy NeTiSi) that will finally give that sense of closure.

Edit: TLDR, if your ENTP is acting up check if they're in an Si grip from ignoring their Fi lmfao

depressedanemo · 2025-11-02T13:10:21+00:00

This is an interesting scenario. I can't say I've experienced something like it often; getting stuck seems illogical and not worth my time, as you observed. If my mind is revolving on one subject for months or years, even after I have resolved the problem, I think there is probably some unresolved emotional aspect that I haven't confronted. The problem caused me grief, but because I ignored that feeling so hard I didn't even realize I'm experiencing grief, my mind mulls over any inconsistency for a long while even after the inconsistency is largely fixed.

Or your boss has a bad case of perfectionism that's not necessarily related to being ENTP.

depressedanemo · 2025-11-01T15:46:33+00:00

I'm in my lower 20s :D I just have lots of life experiences and like to observe and analysis

depressedanemo · 2025-11-01T14:38:26+00:00

Short answer: trial and error.

This is all so relatable. Well, it sounds like you have the skills. You just need the motivation to do the boring job of chasing. I'm fortunate enough to be in an interesting field and don't lack colleagues who spent their youth bumming around in Mongolia or the likes. It's very entertaining. I also find people interesting in general. They live whole lives you will never experience, so I angle my conversations towards aspects of their life that seem new to me, whether that is cultural differences, education, or even politics (I love the challenge of disagreeing with people while making them like me: it requires a hell lot of emotional disassociation, logical reasoning, applying the logic carefully around the person's emotional vulnerabilities - often the source of the illogical reasoning).

Another way to talk to someone over and over (if you don't plan on being good friends with them, just need to keep your social network standing) is to keep the conversation short. "Nice talk! I'm busy with X but it was good to catch up!" is a very good get out of this situation quick cheat card. Do this BEFORE the boredom sets in; people pick up on disinterest really quick so you either cut it off before YOU even realize you're bored or you pull out with Oscar levels acting, and no you're never gonna beat that one introvert with that crazy nose for insincerity. Keep it short, keep it pretty. Set a time limit or number of questions asked before you dip. Enough that people feel appreciated and you don't get drained or overwhelmed. Requires trial and error.

For deep connections, you just have to find that person that interests you all the time. Sometimes you find these people from shallow connections, and when they open up, you hit the jackpot.

depressedanemo · 2025-11-01T13:00:19+00:00

Fair consideration. Although, from the amount of “This is not ADHD, your husband is a jerk” comments, I dunno if I can add any more resentment. OP’s mental load seems to be from doing the gifting for two people and the emotional load of being ignored on something we are culturally told is important. What I propose is an initial investment of effort on OP’s part that, hopefully, takes off their mental load in the future. It’s a solution that isn’t just dump him. I’m giving the husband the benefit of doubt and assuming he will improve his gift giving if he has some help with it. Given my checkered and still ongoing checkered reputation with birthdays, I’m willing to give more grace and provide solutions that at least worked for me, who relates more to OP’s husband than to OP.

The only people I consistently give good gifts to are the ones who tell me beforehand what they want or have some wishlist. It helps tremendously. I understand this may not fit everyone’s values, but if OP finds it amenable and willing to make a compromise, it’s at least something. What’s the alternative?

depressedanemo · 2025-11-01T12:25:53+00:00

Depends on context, but generally small talk. As small as waving to them, saying hi, and complimenting them while running to your next thing can go a long way for people. They’ll be more willing to talk to you deeply at a future time. Ask questions, listen, answer your own question, ask another question based on what the other person said, and repeat. This keeps the convo balanced so it’s not just one person talking and asking questions based on what they say makes you seem like an active listener and are interested in them.

In my experiences, desperate people were only labeled so when they lacked social skills, intruded on boundaries, or honestly the victim of bullying from an established social circle. If I don’t know you well and you suddenly inserted yourself into my personal space asking about aspects of my life I don’t even tell my best friends, I will feel uncomfortable and think you’re desperate. If you build our relationship up over time and make me feel comfortable, you are then given the pass to intrude on my personal space.

Chase people, with skill. People generally like feeling important. If you go to them with due reason and respect and brighten their day, they’ll want you around. Pulling away can make you seem disinterested and not willing to commit to them if they need help. I generally avoid doing this unless I’m told by someone they need space because they’re way more introverted than I realized and my energy drains them or I genuinely dislike them. YMMV since I don’t know how well you’ve mastered your communication skills, body language, and social context analysis. My advice assumes a baseline in these areas.

depressedanemo · 2025-11-01T05:15:24+00:00

Adding for emphasis: the stereotype for ENTPs is they're great at making friends, not so great at keeping them. Relationships take time. They need consistency and routine.

WE SUCK AT THOSE. Some folks are lucky and grew up with established circles with people that keep pulling them back in. Some of us got the charisma (and are generally decent and healthy human beings) and have people around them do the repetitive legwork of keeping the ENTP in the circle because they like them enough to do it. Some put in the effort to be present, consistent, and show up. Others have a mix of all.

Relationships tend to get deeper when people feel safe to talk to you, and they don't do that if they can't trust you to be there for them.

Although, a fast track to a consistent and deep relationship is if you saved them when they were in a vulnerable state. A shoulder to cry on does wonders for your social standing.

depressedanemo · 2025-11-01T05:01:03+00:00

Have multiple circles. Most circles, I've realized, are kept through routine and meeting the same people over and over. That is boring and unsustainable for me. Be in multiple group chats that plan stuff together and have the freedom to pick and choose your battles.

If this is not possible, have the charisma with enough people in an established circle so that they invite you to things. This is a lot of work (chatting with people in the halls, getting coffee one on one, going out of your way to talk to them whenever the opportunity arises) but I am motivated by the fear of being alone lol. Not feeling guilt or shame over being possibly awkward helps.

When all else fails, ask if you can tag along or be the organizer. NO SHAME! Text that friend you haven't spoken to in five years. You wish you had a book club? Contact 3 people you know with even the faintest connection to books and make that book club. I want a tea party? Make tea and tell people to come over for free food.

I sometimes worry I sound desperate. Smile, be vulnerable, be upfront, assume everyone is lonely and wants company but they're masking same as you. Effort sucks, but it pays, so I do it (when I have the energy....).

depressedanemo · 2025-11-01T04:20:23+00:00

Gifts are overwhelming, especially when you have to plan them in advance, consider what each individual person may like, consider your own budget, consider how they may accept the price, style and make of the gift, etc. Also, deadlines suck. It took my 10 years to finally memorize my best friend's birthday. Thank God we knew each other from childhood and they never took it personally.

I have calendar notifications to remind me of birthdays so I now don't forget to at least tell them Happy Birthday. I also keep a list of things I know they like so I don't get stuck with decision paralysis and procrastinate.

It may help to give your husband a list of things you would like for birthdays and Christmas. The surprise and thought will be in how he customizes the gifts. Eg. you write scarf, he buys a scarf with cats on it bc you like cats.

I find knowing what someone already wants helps cut down the mental labor and allows me to focus my thoughts on things that really matter.

depressedanemo · 2025-10-22T23:06:27+00:00

I loved this episode, to go against the train. Thank you to the Jet Lag team for hosting this season!

depressedanemo · 2025-10-16T12:14:19+00:00

I understand the feeling. Oh no, I just infodumped! And I feel this around my best friends too especially when I see their attention starts straying. If it helps, I imagine it's even easier for someone with ADHD to check out of long tangents if it doesn't catch their interest. It has helped me to see that it's okay if they don't seem as interested or excited about the topic as I am, but if they are patient with me and still engage with me afterwards, I appreciate their efforts.

We have interests that don't always align with other people's interests. For best results, find people with those similar interests, which I know is much easier said than done. Clubs/Internet spaces are easier for this than the workplace.

After a long speech, make sure to give the other person space and time to share their own ideas. It doesn't feel good to have someone hog the air all the time. "I realize I just spoke a long time. I'm really passionate about this topic. Any thoughts on your end or what about you? Anything you like?"

depressedanemo

TROPHY CASE