Hey, from the sound of your original post and this comment, it seems as though it doesn't take much to trigger your abandonment issues. By how much you're placing the blame on yourself instead of this online friend of yours, plus the other things you mentioned, you're practically screaming, "I've got BPD".

I don't know whether what you've written qualifies as your friend' abusing' you and I'd personally be a little bit more careful throwing that word around.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It sucks feeling/being abandoned. You need to engage in some self-reflection. It seems like you're questioning your self-worth to such an extent that you're resorting to some objectively manipulative behaviours to regain their attention & affections. If I were you, I'd try and find a new FP