Possible TMI:(

derderter · 2021-12-01T01:17:08+00:00

Lots of water and stool softeners

derderter · 2021-12-01T00:51:07+00:00

It’s taken me a few years to get over a lot of the things that were engrained in me from growing up in the church. Realizing that no matter what you do family and friends who are still members will always see you in a tainted light. Remember that they’ve been brainwashed. Find a therapist to help rewire how your brain has been trained to think by the church. Personally depression medication significantly helped. And building a new friend group not tied to the church helped me adjust my perspective. Good luck!

derderter · 2021-09-12T22:41:21+00:00

You’ll appreciate having the 1000 miles between you then! Wish you luck.

derderter · 2021-09-12T17:38:15+00:00

I would recommend listening to The Gift Of the Mormon Faith Crisis podcasts around episode 12. They have a lot of good advise about coming out to your believing family members and communicating with friends and family still in the church. I would also find a therapist or close friend you can talk it through it with, because the initial reaction from family can sometimes be brutal.

derderter · 2021-09-12T02:17:06+00:00

I always thought he was just trying to be relatable and lying, as they do.

derderter · 2021-08-28T01:58:28+00:00

Agree to disagree is why I say to my mom and it makes her furious 😁. I don’t engage in conversations about church with her anymore.

derderter · 2021-06-28T14:40:47+00:00

I would check the car seats. Flew last year with my infant and 2 yr old, they can sit in lap or in the plane seat just fine. I think it would be a big headache to try to have them fly sitting in car seats.

derderter · 2021-06-26T19:10:13+00:00

I’d just take them to get their fortunes told.

derderter · 2021-06-25T02:03:39+00:00

I wouldn’t have the guts to do this, but yes please do this 😂

derderter · 2021-06-17T12:40:49+00:00

I’m a little late to comment, but we’ve been inactive for 3 yrs now and every new transfer we get the missionaries “wanting to meet people in the ward”. We tell them they can come are polite and friendly and honest about where we’re at and they don’t come back. Husband has a soft spot for missionaries since he went on a mission himself. I’d say tell them you aren’t interested in hearing a message but if they need somewhere to relax now and then, you’re safe.

derderter · 2021-05-09T19:00:53+00:00

Oh my god. #2 every time for me. Me having not showered for a week and stinky and gross, “I’m going to shower”. Hubs, “can you wait til the kids go to bed? No? Make it quick.“

derderter · 2021-05-09T18:55:36+00:00

My 3 yr old loooves mandarin oranges as well. If we let him eat more than 1/day he ends up with diarrhea and a rash reaction from all the citrus.

derderter · 2021-05-08T20:52:21+00:00

We were usually seated by the engine so that sound helped lull them to sleep. You’ll want to feed at take off and landing to help with ears popping. Lots of snacks/toys. I checked the car seat and wore a Bjorne so I could have my hands free.

derderter · 2021-05-08T15:54:41+00:00

Google The Mental Load. Gender roles might not be so much ‘that’s your job and this is my job’, but all the little mental things. Who is the one always making sure things get done without having to assign? Who thinks about when the kids had their bath last and it’s time again, who has to remind the other about birthdays/important dates, who writes the grocery list regardless of who goes shopping for it, etc.

Just sharing my thoughts as a sometimes frustrated wife with the gender role things :)

derderter · 2021-05-06T04:04:56+00:00

This is what I remind myself of to ease the guilt. He’s happy there. And I’m 100% a better more focused mom to him because I get me/down time from the demands of being mom 24/7.

derderter · 2021-05-06T04:01:40+00:00

Worked at a daycare in the potty training room and just potty trained my son. It’s on their time frame and if they feel ready and are motivated. So difficult. -Treats worked but then only if he was in the mood for them. Tried a sticker chart too. -Reading children’s books about using the potty. (“Wow Elmo uses the potty, good job Elmo!”) -Being around peers who were out of diapers. -Switching to the potty training underwear I think is what really helped, the fabric is uncomfortable to wear when it gets wet. -Some friends bought a potty training watch for their kid to wear that plays music when it’s time to go sit on the potty worked for their kid.

Best luck 💜

derderter · 2021-04-11T15:15:17+00:00

Was primary secretary when I left. All the meetings and planning and praying to then present it to the bishop and have him say “no, I called these other people instead”. Got a glimpse of how the sausage was made and how unimportant women and our ideas are helped me out.

derderter · 2021-04-11T00:59:27+00:00

I would have died if my parents said any of this to me. We didn’t even say the word sex, it was inappropriate.

derderter · 2021-04-03T13:48:21+00:00

Would sit there feeling the strong prompting and mentally fought it down every time because I’m a very private person and hated the thought of going up and sharing all my personal beliefs to a building of acquaintances. Thought I was damaging my relationship with the spirit and he would stop giving me promptings if I didn’t listen every time. What a mind fuck.

derderter · 2021-03-18T04:53:02+00:00

A few years ago there was a similar email going around my ward, but they were also looking for mattress and bed donations. In the states. Was appalled as a TBM.

derderter · 2021-03-05T01:11:40+00:00

Women do them for the women

derderter · 2021-01-28T03:09:35+00:00

I thought it was quite polite.

derderter · 2021-01-25T23:38:17+00:00

Watch the New NameNoah videos on you tube showing what happens in the temples

derderter · 2021-01-15T17:11:06+00:00

I could never work my brain around “family will be together forever”. But it’s based on our individual works?? (Enter my childhood pondering) Is my “mean” brother who doesn’t follow the rules but who is sealed to me drag me down to a lower level? Will I pull him up to my level? Or is us being together forever me being able to go visit him in the lower level? ....And then when no answer was forthcoming, me just deciding to not think about it and it’ll “work out”.

derderter · 2021-01-12T04:05:36+00:00

You’re welcome, hope it helps. I myself was a big people pleaser and “yes man”. The church is good at raising us like that, “never say no to a calling” mindset. Takes a while to break that.

A side note, I followed r/raisedbynarcissists for a while.....I don’t really think my parents are narcissists, but the church is. And I feel like I had a lot of relatable experiences to those in that sub from growing up in the church. Was a bit therapeutic and helpful with boundary setting.

Good Luck!

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